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Help needed for 2 teenagers

Help needed for 2 teenagers

Old Jan 19th 2007, 8:57 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by mikelincs
They, like you, are feeling the pressure about leaving, they will also have had all those thoughts about leaving their friends, it's a fear/excitement thing, but it's as was once said, 'there are no strangers in the world, just friends you do not know', they will soon find a new circle of friends, and almost certainly a multinational circle and that can only be a good thing.
This morning they are a bit sheepish. But i have there chores planned for them ha ha.
xxx
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Old Jan 19th 2007, 9:57 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

I think you need to get your girls “tagged” you might be in for a rude awakening!
You obviously don’t know about the “Botellón” in Spain.
The dictionary definition is “outdoor drinking session involving groups of young people” They all do it, a friend of ours 13(now 14) year old goes out after school Friday and gets back Sunday evening. These are almost organised things that the Police turn a blind eye to. Maybe it’s different in Coin. Don’t know you would have to ask a local, but if it doesn’t happen openly you can bet it still happens.
Welcome to Spain
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Old Jan 19th 2007, 10:03 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by Mr Impish
I think you need to get your girls “tagged” you might be in for a rude awakening!
You obviously don’t know about the “Botellón” in Spain.
The dictionary definition is “outdoor drinking session involving groups of young people” They all do it, a friend of ours 13(now 14) year old goes out after school Friday and gets back Sunday evening. These are almost organised things that the Police turn a blind eye to. Maybe it’s different in Coin. Don’t know you would have to ask a local, but if it doesn’t happen openly you can bet it still happens.
Welcome to Spain
Yeah i know what you are saying.
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Old Jan 19th 2007, 10:34 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Hiya Miss Naughty, it might do her good to get properly drunk and then I am sure the hangover would put her off for life Or better still, you get really trashed and she will be sooo embarrased at what you look like drunk she would never do it herself

Don't be too harsh, just tell her you remember what is was like being her age and that it is great to try things in moderation but not fun to go too far.

I remember telling my Mum once that I had tried smoking expecting her to go mad - she just turned to me and said 'oh dear, that was a bit silly, do you know how much they cost?' - knowing that I was a stingy little thing. It worked a treat, got bored of them and didn't want to spend my money on them Due to that small hiccup and her great reaction I can tell my Mum absolutely anything even to this day.
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Old Jan 19th 2007, 10:43 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by accommodation-in-spain
Hiya Miss Naughty, it might do her good to get properly drunk and then I am sure the hangover would put her off for life Or better still, you get really trashed and she will be sooo embarrased at what you look like drunk she would never do it herself

Don't be too harsh, just tell her you remember what is was like being her age and that it is great to try things in moderation but not fun to go too far.

I remember telling my Mum once that I had tried smoking expecting her to go mad - she just turned to me and said 'oh dear, that was a bit silly, do you know how much they cost?' - knowing that I was a stingy little thing. It worked a treat, got bored of them and didn't want to spend my money on them Due to that small hiccup and her great reaction I can tell my Mum absolutely anything even to this day.
I am like that with my mum, i call her and tell her everything and does not bat an eyelid xxx
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Old Jan 19th 2007, 11:51 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by Miss Naughty
fair enough,
To be fair i am glad you was not my daughter my girls are 13 and 14 and that is why the uk law states 18 to drink.
To be fair i am not unfair just do not want my kids to become the twats drinking and being silly.
And if you think that is cool i am glad you are not my daughter
It´s only just started. Give them a couple more years and it will get worse. However, they usually all come out the other end. Went through hell and high water with my two but they are now adults and good kids. Just grit your teeth and if they have been given good values they will be okay.
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Old Jan 20th 2007, 12:01 am
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by glynis
It´s only just started. Give them a couple more years and it will get worse. However, they usually all come out the other end. Went through hell and high water with my two but they are now adults and good kids. Just grit your teeth and if they have been given good values they will be okay.
Hope so,
I have been lucky with them compared to other's i know of.
They dont use bad language and sneek out etc etc, but like you say it will get worsexxxx
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Old Jan 20th 2007, 5:12 am
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Hello Miss Naughty

Please don't worry about this and what ever you do, do not over react, I hope you don't mind me saying this but believe me I have had experience of this.

When my youngest daughter was 14 she asked if she could go to a friends birthday party, I asked all the usual questions, how old is the friend, will parents be there, where is the party I didn't feel the need to check this info because the family concerned were from a friends local church. It was fireworks night so off she went to party and off we went to our fireworks party, midnight we had a call from Hospital saying daughter was uncousous in hospital and could we go there. We sat there all night and in the morning she woke up feeling fine and dandy as she was on a glucose drip and had no hangover what so ever. I spoke with the mother of the other girl who went and she said she didn't know what happen they were at the party for less than an hour when she got the call from her daughter to say come and get us. Neve really got to the bottom of what happened but daughter was ground for three months and no pocket money.

The first day she is aloud out she asked if she can go to a friend house, as one of the other girls was having a party for her 14th party, well you can imagine what I was thinking but I said she could go as she promised me faithfully that she would not drink I had all the info of where she would be, not only that I thought I had to trust her. Well the trust was mis-placed and this time she was ground for ONE YEAR and when I say one year that is exactly what she got. Every day she would come straight home from school, every evening and weekend was spent in the house. The only time she went out except for school was when she was with me or her father. There was no ranting and raving on my part, no lecture all I said was that she was grounded for one year not because she came home drunk for the 2nd time in three months but because she had lied to me. We did talk and she did agree to go to the doctors who was very good and arrange counciling for her, she was allowed friends back to the house and they stayed weekends, she never once complained about the punishment but what she did tell me many years later that it was the best thing for her as she was finding the whole being a teenager thing to much there was so much pressure from others in her group to do things that she did not want to do and did not have the nerve to stand up to them.

She is now 27 years old, in fact her birthday is today and she is in Barcelona with her boyfriend for a birthday treat. I can put my hand on my heart and say that this is the only trouble she has ever been in, at eighteen she started work as a barmaid, she did this for three years and she said that working in the pub made her realise what a waste of life so many people have.
I won't say she is not a drinker because she is but no more than any other social drinker. We have 5 kids (36 - 27, 3 girls 2 boys) and they have all come home drunk at one time or another because that is what teenagers do best.... but as adults well I can't remember the last time any of them was drunk. In fact I will say we have been very lucky as we have not had any trouble with any of the kids except for the above incidents.

As others have said before she too has to come to terms with this move, loosing friends that she has had all her life, starting a new school in a new country with a language she will not understand, I for one would not want to be 14 and have to do this.

Anyway Miss Naughty I would like to wish you and your family a very safe trip to Spain, and hope you settle in quickly and given half a chance you will all be wondering what the fuss was about come the summer, because when your girls get 3 months off from school and they can hang out friends they will realise what a great place this is. Much love to you all. Cristina xxxx

Last edited by crispy; Jan 20th 2007 at 5:24 am. Reason: spelling and even more spelling
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Old Jan 20th 2007, 5:25 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by crispygirl
Hello Miss Naughty

Please don't worry about this and what ever you do, do not over react, I hope you don't mind me saying this but believe me I have had experience of this.

When my youngest daughter was 14 she asked if she could go to a friends birthday party, I asked all the usual questions, how old is the friend, will parents be there, where is the party I didn't feel the need to check this info because the family concerned were from a friends local church. It was fireworks night so off she went to party and off we went to our fireworks party, midnight we had a call from Hospital saying daughter was uncousous in hospital and could we go there. We sat there all night and in the morning she woke up feeling fine and dandy as she was on a glucose drip and had no hangover what so ever. I spoke with the mother of the other girl who went and she said she didn't know what happen they were at the party for less than an hour when she got the call from her daughter to say come and get us. Neve really got to the bottom of what happened but daughter was ground for three months and no pocket money.

The first day she is aloud out she asked if she can go to a friend house, as one of the other girls was having a party for her 14th party, well you can imagine what I was thinking but I said she could go as she promised me faithfully that she would not drink I had all the info of where she would be, not only that I thought I had to trust her. Well the trust was mis-placed and this time she was ground for ONE YEAR and when I say one year that is exactly what she got. Every day she would come straight home from school, every evening and weekend was spent in the house. The only time she went out except for school was when she was with me or her father. There was no ranting and raving on my part, no lecture all I said was that she was grounded for one year not because she came home drunk for the 2nd time in three months but because she had lied to me. We did talk and she did agree to go to the doctors who was very good and arrange councilimg for her, she was allowed friends back to the house and they stayed weekends, she never once complained about the punishment but what she did tell me many years later that it was the best thing for her as she was finding the whole being a teenager thing to much there was so much pressure from others in her group to do things that she did not want to do and did not have the nerve to stand up to them.

She is now 27 years old, in fact her birthday is today and she is in Barcelona with her boyfriend for a birthday treat. I can put my hand on my heart and say that this is the only trouble she has ever been in, at eighteen she started work as a barmaid, she did this for three years and she said that working in the pub made her realise what a waste of life so many people have.
I won't say she is not a drinker because she is but no more than any other social drinker. We have 5 kids (36 - 27, 3 girls 2 boys) and they have all come home drunk at one time or another because that is what teenagers do best.... but as adults well I can't remember the last time any of them was drunk. In fact I will say we have been very luck as we have not had any trouble with any of the kids except for the above incidents.

As others have said before she too has to come to terms with this move, loosing friends that she has had all her life, starting a new school in a new country with a language she will not understand, I for one would not want to be 14 and have to do this.

Anyway Miss Naughty I would like to wish you and your family a very safe trip to Spain, and hope you settle in quickly and given half a chance you will all be wondering what the fuse was about come the summer, because when your girls get 3 months off from school and they can hang out friends they will realise what a great place this is. Much love to you all. Cristina xxxx
Hi,
Thank you for sharing that, i think i look at the worse i remember what i was like as a kid (how my mum survived it i do not know) i was really bad drinking etc etc etc, mum was for ever at the police station they knew her by first name.
And as i had the girls when i was young i always thin k christ i hope they dont turn out like me.
I have been very lucky with them but i think that it may be all to good and i am waiting for the big fall with them.
Hubby says i should have more faith in them and i do but i do nag at them dont do this dont you dare come home like this etc etc.
I think i have put the fear of god in to them bless them.
They have gone out today and have to be home at 8pm they promise they wont let me down. and until they do i have to let go a bit and trust them
Thanks for your kind words xxxxx
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Old Jan 20th 2007, 5:27 am
  #25  
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by Miss Naughty
Hi,
As you are aware i have two teenage daughter's.
They have been out tonight as it is there last weekend, They have both come home in a funny mood, the younger teen has accused the elder one of drinking.
We have done the usa test on her (ha ha ha) and she past we do think she might of had a drink in her eye's. Can not smell it as she has had a few chewy gums inside her.
Sent her to bed, the other one is having a pissy fit, saying we let the oldest get away with everything etc etc etc.
Thing is we can not prove anything, If i could the little bugger would be grounded for a long time.
I have not had this before and am unsure how to handle it.
As it is their last weekend i really dont want to be harsh or a battleaxe any advisexxxxxx pleasexxxxx
read page 1, well glanced at it, your lucky I have three daughters, I think I was punished for a previous life, NO I AM JOKING THEY ARE MY LIFE & SOUL, good or bad. You say you drank but didn't get caught, why? your parents control freaks! never hid my kids in the closet always visited pubs and restaurants and encouraged a little drink or so. Guess what? they unlike pardre never have been drunk. For my view you are crazy and whats with the language, I am glad you weren't my mom.
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Old Jan 21st 2007, 2:40 am
  #26  
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by Miss Naughty
Hi,
As you are aware i have two teenage daughter's.
They have been out tonight as it is there last weekend, They have both come home in a funny mood, the younger teen has accused the elder one of drinking.
We have done the usa test on her (ha ha ha) and she past we do think she might of had a drink in her eye's. Can not smell it as she has had a few chewy gums inside her.
Sent her to bed, the other one is having a pissy fit, saying we let the oldest get away with everything etc etc etc.
Thing is we can not prove anything, If i could the little bugger would be grounded for a long time.
I have not had this before and am unsure how to handle it.
As it is their last weekend i really dont want to be harsh or a battleaxe any advisexxxxxx pleasexxxxx
If I were you I would get one of those breath test things they sell for people who are not sure if they will be over the limit or not. I got one for Christmas and after 3 hours having had one beer it picked up the drink on my breath. I am sure you can get them online somewhere, remember google is your friend
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Old Jan 21st 2007, 6:51 am
  #27  
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Good idea but not sure if that would help with the 'trust' issue which is what you need to get them to tell you anything I suppose you could do it whilst they were asleep a snoring (if you could live with the guilt)
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Old Jan 22nd 2007, 11:26 pm
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Default Re: Help needed for 2 teenagers

Originally Posted by accommodation-in-spain
Good idea but not sure if that would help with the 'trust' issue which is what you need to get them to tell you anything I suppose you could do it whilst they were asleep a snoring (if you could live with the guilt)
It works on breath so one little wave in front of the mouth while asleep and presto green or red!
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