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Feeling fed up and lonely

Feeling fed up and lonely

Old Mar 29th 2011, 7:02 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

I do know who the OP is and fear that she may have been put off using forums after she was treated very insensitively on another one.

She had made reference in one post to her need to speak to her daughter in the UK every day, and another contributor was very rude about this and implied that she was effectively one sandwich short of a picnic for wanting to do so. She felt the need to disclose (which she should not have had to, IMO) that her other child, a son, had died suddenly aged 14 and that was why she felt the need to be so closely connected to her daughter for support.

Just goes to show the dangers of firing off a response without stopping to think that we know nothing really about other forum members' circumstances, or what upset we might cause by doing so.
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Old Mar 29th 2011, 7:13 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by Lynn R
I do know who the OP is and fear that she may have been put off using forums after she was treated very insensitively on another one.

She had made reference in one post to her need to speak to her daughter in the UK every day, and another contributor was very rude about this and implied that she was effectively one sandwich short of a picnic for wanting to do so. She felt the need to disclose (which she should not have had to, IMO) that her other child, a son, had died suddenly aged 14 and that was why she felt the need to be so closely connected to her daughter for support.

Just goes to show the dangers of firing off a response without stopping to think that we know nothing really about other forum members' circumstances, or what upset we might cause by doing so.
Very true
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Old Mar 29th 2011, 7:20 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by Lynn R
I do know who the OP is and fear that she may have been put off using forums after she was treated very insensitively on another one.

She had made reference in one post to her need to speak to her daughter in the UK every day, and another contributor was very rude about this and implied that she was effectively one sandwich short of a picnic for wanting to do so. She felt the need to disclose (which she should not have had to, IMO) that her other child, a son, had died suddenly aged 14 and that was why she felt the need to be so closely connected to her daughter for support.

Just goes to show the dangers of firing off a response without stopping to think that we know nothing really about other forum members' circumstances, or what upset we might cause by doing so.
That is so sad, losing your child is devastating so no surprise that she wanted to be extra close to her daughter. Shame that when she needed a bit of support from fellow ex-pats that she was let down. Hope that she is feeling more settled and is not as lonely now as her post indicated she was then.

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Old Mar 31st 2011, 11:46 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by 1debbie2
When we moved to spain we decided on a house in the campo, huge mistake, when we saw the house we loved it and the fantastic fews. The house is not remote we are just on the side of a road. The .........
I feel for you. I have felt very lonely myself. I am in a major city but have found no one who speaks english and have a young son so it would be nice to find someone with kids as well to hang out with.

I hope things get resolved for you and have a positive outcome
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 11:50 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

come back 1debbie2, let us know what happened...
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 7:36 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by fadingstarlight
I feel for you. I have felt very lonely myself. I am in a major city but have found no one who speaks english and have a young son so it would be nice to find someone with kids as well to hang out with.

I hope things get resolved for you and have a positive outcome
Learn Spanish!

Valencia is an ideal place to do that. With 3 months of intensive courses you'd be good enough to get by and in 12 months fluent enough to make friends
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 7:51 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by 17polarbear
come back 1debbie2, let us know what happened...
I said before, the thread is 12 months old and Debbie hasn't been back here since 12 July last year

Originally Posted by fadingstarlight
I feel for you. I have felt very lonely myself. I am in a major city but have found no one who speaks english and have a young son so it would be nice to find someone with kids as well to hang out with.

I hope things get resolved for you and have a positive outcome
In the centre of Valencia I have seen a lot of English speakers, but probably the majority holidaymakers. Have you tried local childrens groups? Although English may be in the minority, it would give you a chance to practice your Spanish a bit
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 8:08 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by Alectryon
I have helped myself as much as I could given my age and how things don't 'gel' as much as they used to. I can hold my own with the doctor, the vet and the dentist and shopping is a breeze but the Andaluz accent here is very thick and not easy to understand given the speed at which it is delivered. This place is lovely but, in the street where I live, there are neighbours who stand on each others doorstep and natter - and never go into each others houses. One of the nicest neighbours tells me that she has been in this street for 40 years and has never been inside her neighbours houses! What chance do I have? Please don't think that I have not tried - I really have but to no avail.
I for one actually belive that you have tried, because I know plenty of Spanish people who are going through the same thing as you are.

In fact it is quite common.

I tried to make a similar point, a lot of Spanish people have the very same experience, I know women who play canrds together and have been meeting just about every afternoon for the last 30 years, but apart from that they have no contact.

If one is ill the others do not bother to go to the hospital to see them ore whatever.

But they refer to each other as "my friend Charo, Luisa etc.......

When I have mentioned this, most posters have said that they have a totally different experience, that they have been overwhelkmed with friendliness, despite the lack of language skills as opposed to the Spanish people that relocate to other town or small villages.
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 10:30 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

During my experimental year in ‘real’ Spain, a town of some 20,000 people right in the centre of the country, I was made extremely welcome. I’ve never come across such extreme acceptance of a foreigner in their midst anywhere else during my travels.

Unfortunately I look like a guiri from northern Europe, an object of quiet curiosity wherever I went. Friendly people were forever knocking at my door, not just to borrow my car or invite me to a social event, I think that sometimes they just wanted to look at me, especially the older ladies who had never seen a tall man with fair hair and blue eyes, that spoke Spanish to them.

I’m sure if I had stayed for long enough they would have voted me in as mayor, and the post’s incumbent knew it and kept imposing his special mayor’s fines on me, in ever such a friendly way. I asked him about a roof extension once and he assured me that I could have built a tower block on top of my house. It would have meant a heavier fine.
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Old Mar 31st 2011, 10:49 pm
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by HBG
I think that sometimes they just wanted to look at me, especially the older ladies who had never seen a tall man with fair hair and blue eyes, that spoke Spanish to them.

.
You are joking right? There are plenty of Spaniards who are tall with fair hair and blue eyes, especially in the North of Spain.

Jesus Calleja is from Leon (right in the middle of Spain), couldnt get any blonder and blue eyed. Look at the King of Spain when he was younger, or the Prince or all the children are are white blonde. Footballers like Guti, Mendieta or De Gea

What about the matador El Cordobés? Even Paco de Lucia is pretty fair given that he is from Algeciras

Not all Spaniards are darkies you know
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 12:13 am
  #41  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

It was probably down to his West Ham shirt and Union Jack shorts.
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 2:28 am
  #42  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by cricketman
You are joking right? There are plenty of Spaniards who are tall with fair hair and blue eyes, especially in the North of Spain.

Jesus Calleja is from Leon (right in the middle of Spain), couldnt get any blonder and blue eyed. Look at the King of Spain when he was younger, or the Prince or all the children are are white blonde. Footballers like Guti, Mendieta or De Gea

What about the matador El Cordobés? Even Paco de Lucia is pretty fair given that he is from Algeciras

Not all Spaniards are darkies you know
It’s ridiculous to suggest that Spanish people in general are not darker skinned than northern Europeans, and there’s a perfectly good reason for it. Of course there are exceptions, like the examples you quoted. It will even itself out over the next centuries as people from different parts of the world intermarry because of globalisation and other factors.
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 2:31 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by Dick Dasterdly
It was probably down to his West Ham shirt and Union Jack shorts.
Union Jack shorts and West Ham shirts don't match well. The colours clash.
The best match is the Geordies black and white stripes.
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 5:11 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by HBG
It’s ridiculous to suggest that Spanish people in general are not darker skinned than northern Europeans, and there’s a perfectly good reason for it. Of course there are exceptions, like the examples you quoted. It will even itself out over the next centuries as people from different parts of the world intermarry because of globalisation and other factors.
Spanish people are only darker skinned than Brits in the summer. In the winter they are the same. I read that recently in a scientific journal

And not all Spanish people tan well in the summer. My OH is remains pale and takes ages to tan, I am tanned already just with the winter sun.

Of courses there are lots of dark haired Spanish people, but to say a Spaniard has never seen a tall blonde person is just ignorant bigotry.

In our wedding we had about 50 Spaniards and 30 Brits, there were more blonde Spaniards than there were blonde Brits. Most Brits have dark hair you know, they dont look like Boris Johnson!

Btw, there is nothing wrong with dark haired or dark skinned people! But for you to be living in Spain and say what you are saying is quite amazing. But I am in a bad mood at the moment after the Gaurdian Spain week, I am thinking of cutting all ties to Britain (seriously)..
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 5:26 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by cricketman

! But for you to be living in Spain and say what you are saying is quite amazing. But I am in a bad mood at the moment after the Gaurdian Spain week, I am thinking of cutting all ties to Britain (seriously)..

Rest assured that you wont be missed!

To mock the poster for making comment about skin and hair colour and then go on to throw a tantrum over an article in The Guardian by the idiot Toynbee is quite ridiculous actually.
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