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Feeling fed up and lonely

Feeling fed up and lonely

Old Apr 6th 2010, 1:52 am
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Default Feeling fed up and lonely

When we moved to spain we decided on a house in the campo, huge mistake, when we saw the house we loved it and the fantastic fews. The house is not remote we are just on the side of a road. The problem is since moving here i havnt driven, we had 2 big cars and i didnt want to drive them. My hubby is out at work all day so i spend everyday on my own. When he is not so busy with work he will drop me off to have a coffee with freinds, but that is not very often. As each day goes by i am feeling more and more fed up and missing my family and freinds so much in the uk. I can see a divorce coming as my husband loves it here so much although he does worry about me spending so much time on my own. We are hoping to buy a smaller car soon so maybe it will get better. Does any one else feel lonely where they live.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 1:54 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by 1debbie2
When we moved to spain we decided on a house in the campo, huge mistake, when we saw the house we loved it and the fantastic fews. The house is not remote we are just on the side of a road. The problem is since moving here i havnt driven, we had 2 big cars and i didnt want to drive them. My hubby is out at work all day so i spend everyday on my own. When he is not so busy with work he will drop me off to have a coffee with freinds, but that is not very often. As each day goes by i am feeling more and more fed up and missing my family and freinds so much in the uk. I can see a divorce coming as my husband loves it here so much although he does worry about me spending so much time on my own. We are hoping to buy a smaller car soon so maybe it will get better. Does any one else feel lonely where they live.
Hiya Debs n welcome to BE - where abouts are you - there may be some peeps on here who are in your area that you could paly up with - big hugs chick
Love Sam xxxxx
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 2:07 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Best thing is to really crack the driving issue. Nothing like independence We moved to the campo once and I hated it. (fortunately at that time property sold quickly). All our friends were on the coast, only two neighbours, one a toothless idiot, the other who was great only came at weekends. Due to the state of the track and a large drop at one side no-one wanted to come and visit.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 2:14 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Our first house here was campo.

We lasted 3 months before we moved.

I feel sorry for you.

You will feel so much better if can drive again or depending on whether you rent ask your hubby nicely if you can move. need not be far-just so you feel you are living again.

Tell him straight how you feel.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 2:45 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Hi thanks for the replys, hubby does understand how i feel, and i know he would move where ever i wanted to be, problem is we bought the house and would need to sell to be able to move. I know i need to crack the driving and then i will not feel so cut off. I live in torrox campo and do have freinds nearer the coast but no one comes to visit. Some days i dont see the point in getting dressed because i know i will not see anyone all day.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 2:51 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by 1debbie2
Hi thanks for the replys, hubby does understand how i feel, and i know he would move where ever i wanted to be, problem is we bought the house and would need to sell to be able to move. I know i need to crack the driving and then i will not feel so cut off. I live in torrox campo and do have freinds nearer the coast but no one comes to visit. Some days i dont see the point in getting dressed because i know i will not see anyone all day.

Awwwwwww Debbie - big hugs xxxxx

Try n organise a meet up somewhere for others in the area - a few of us on here have met up a few times in different areas of Spain - if i was there chick id ask you for a coffee - but unfortunately i dont live there - hopefully someone who lives in your area will reply soon xxxxx
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 5:02 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Is it the size of the car's that bothers you, or driving on the "wrong" side of the road ?

Maybe the answer, if it is one of the above, is to take the car out on some quite country roads, and just ease yourself in, after a while I'm sure your confidence will build up.

Are there any other expat families in the area ? If there are, how about throwing a barbecue or something. Put the word out and see who turns up !
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 5:04 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by savateur
Is it the size of the car's that bothers you, or driving on the "wrong" side of the road ?

Maybe the answer, if it is one of the above, is to take the car out on some quite country roads, and just ease yourself in, after a while I'm sure your confidence will build up.

Are there any other expat families in the area ? If there are, how about throwing a barbecue or something. Put the word out and see who turns up !

Good idea xxx
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 5:32 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Originally Posted by 1debbie2
... Does any one else feel lonely where they live.
There's a good chance that there are quite a few people felling like you right now!! - Us Brits aren't always great at mixing as we think we are.

It's not easy when in the campo - solitude can equal lonliness. I feel for you.

Is there any 'hobbie clubs' near you - check the local freebie newspapers, maybe a beginners art class - near us (Hondon Valley) many peopl have joined line-dancing, belly dancing, darts, B-Legion, cycling, gym, dining / lunch groups, free spanish class ... try something new - and you'll soon make friends.

.. but you have to tell people you are THERE.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 6:43 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

We live in a campo house about 4kms from the nearest bar/shop. We drive so there's no big problem there but I wanted to be able to go out for a drink, not a skinful you understand but a couple of beers and a couple of tapas.

The breakthrough was realising that the town had a taxi.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 9:38 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Hi 1debbie2, don't feel too down. It's not easy moving to another country but it can be the start to a great future. IMO you really need to get to grips with this driving issue, just try the big car little by little and as said look for a sociable hobby. I'm always in the gym and it's always been a good place to meet people. Stick on here for a while and have a good laugh at all our silly arguements and opinions, that'll keep you busy for a while.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 7:48 pm
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Thankyou everyone, I am going to give the driving another go this weekend, and hopefully we will soon find a smaller car which i know will be better for me. We do have quite a few freinds here and in the summer we have barbecues, only thing is they work through the day so it is the days that are the problem. Hubby is really good and even though he has been working hard all day he will always ask me if i want to go some where on a evening. At least i have some freinds from uk coming for a visit next week so that will be nice.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 8:22 pm
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Hello 1D2,
My wife had the same problem on moving here. The feeling of being "cut off" from the world. Having a big 4 by 4 that needed great patience to get into our underground parking didn't help. In the end, she bought a little convertible. And took Spanish driving lessons to get her up to speed. Searched the internet (Facebook etc) for others of her nationality (she's Hungarian), got in touch and now meet up a few times each week (in some ways, everyone abroad is looking for the same thing).
Eons ago when I moved alone to Budapest, the first thing I did was to advertise offering a photographic course (I'm a photographer). Many peeps came...but I knew that most had little interest in the subject. It was just another way of meeting others (which was the original idea for myself).
To that end, my wife recently enrolled on a beautician course in Barcelona. She hops on the train, spends a day with her new found buddies from the course doing the do in the city, spends the night, and takes the train back. Bliss.
If you look in the English press, you'll find every type of course offered (if you have a skill...then offer one yourself). And get yourself a little car.
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Old Apr 6th 2010, 11:20 pm
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

The answer is definately getting a smaller car that you feel comfortable with and getting your butt out there. Get practicing driving about, even if you dont meet up with anyone, just go and visit places, that you wanna visit! Parking is always an issue for me, cos I'm terrible at it, but with practice and going to places with big carparks its not such a problem!!!!!! I'm not that far away from you ish?????? and in a couple of weeks I'm hoping to have a get together with a lady (from another forum), so you could always come and join us!!

In any case, we're all just recovering here from a particularly wet and miserable winter, so you're not the only one suffering from loneliness and cabin fever!!!

Jo xxx
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Old Apr 7th 2010, 5:42 am
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Default Re: Feeling fed up and lonely

Try if you can to buy an automatic car, this you will find a good deal more comfortable/easier to use as it will take away any gear issue etc etc.
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