Lynn R

I do know who the OP is and fear that she may have been put off using forums after she was treated very insensitively on another one.

She had made reference in one post to her need to speak to her daughter in the UK every day, and another contributor was very rude about this and implied that she was effectively one sandwich short of a picnic for wanting to do so. She felt the need to disclose (which she should not have had to, IMO) that her other child, a son, had died suddenly aged 14 and that was why she felt the need to be so closely connected to her daughter for support.

Just goes to show the dangers of firing off a response without stopping to think that we know nothing really about other forum members' circumstances, or what upset we might cause by doing so.

Mataroni

Very true

Rosemary

That is so sad, losing your child is devastating so no surprise that she wanted to be extra close to her daughter. Shame that when she needed a bit of support from fellow ex-pats that she was let down. Hope that she is feeling more settled and is not as lonely now as her post indicated she was then.

Rosemary

fadingstarlight

I feel for you. I have felt very lonely myself. I am in a major city but have found no one who speaks english and have a young son so it would be nice to find someone with kids as well to hang out with.

I hope things get resolved for you and have a positive outcome

17polarbear

come back 1debbie2, let us know what happened...

cricketman

Learn Spanish!

Valencia is an ideal place to do that. With 3 months of intensive courses you'd be good enough to get by and in 12 months fluent enough to make friends

Mitzyboy

I said before, the thread is 12 months old and Debbie hasn't been back here since 12 July last year

In the centre of Valencia I have seen a lot of English speakers, but probably the majority holidaymakers. Have you tried local childrens groups? Although English may be in the minority, it would give you a chance to practice your Spanish a bit

JLFS

I for one actually belive that you have tried, because I know plenty of Spanish people who are going through the same thing as you are.

In fact it is quite common.

I tried to make a similar point, a lot of Spanish people have the very same experience, I know women who play canrds together and have been meeting just about every afternoon for the last 30 years, but apart from that they have no contact.

If one is ill the others do not bother to go to the hospital to see them ore whatever.

But they refer to each other as "my friend Charo, Luisa etc.......

When I have mentioned this, most posters have said that they have a totally different experience, that they have been overwhelkmed with friendliness, despite the lack of language skills as opposed to the Spanish people that relocate to other town or small villages.

HBG

During my experimental year in ‘real’ Spain, a town of some 20,000 people right in the centre of the country, I was made extremely welcome. I’ve never come across such extreme acceptance of a foreigner in their midst anywhere else during my travels.

Unfortunately I look like a guiri from northern Europe, an object of quiet curiosity wherever I went. Friendly people were forever knocking at my door, not just to borrow my car or invite me to a social event, I think that sometimes they just wanted to look at me, especially the older ladies who had never seen a tall man with fair hair and blue eyes, that spoke Spanish to them.

I’m sure if I had stayed for long enough they would have voted me in as mayor, and the post’s incumbent knew it and kept imposing his special mayor’s fines on me, in ever such a friendly way. I asked him about a roof extension once and he assured me that I could have built a tower block on top of my house. It would have meant a heavier fine.

cricketman

You are joking right? There are plenty of Spaniards who are tall with fair hair and blue eyes, especially in the North of Spain.

Jesus Calleja is from Leon (right in the middle of Spain), couldnt get any blonder and blue eyed. Look at the King of Spain when he was younger, or the Prince or all the children are are white blonde. Footballers like Guti, Mendieta or De Gea

What about the matador El Cordobés? Even Paco de Lucia is pretty fair given that he is from Algeciras

Not all Spaniards are darkies you know

Dick Dasterdly

It was probably down to his West Ham shirt and Union Jack shorts.

HBG

It’s ridiculous to suggest that Spanish people in general are not darker skinned than northern Europeans, and there’s a perfectly good reason for it. Of course there are exceptions, like the examples you quoted. It will even itself out over the next centuries as people from different parts of the world intermarry because of globalisation and other factors.

HBG

Union Jack shorts and West Ham shirts don't match well. The colours clash.
The best match is the Geordies black and white stripes.

cricketman

Spanish people are only darker skinned than Brits in the summer. In the winter they are the same. I read that recently in a scientific journal

And not all Spanish people tan well in the summer. My OH is remains pale and takes ages to tan, I am tanned already just with the winter sun.

Of courses there are lots of dark haired Spanish people, but to say a Spaniard has never seen a tall blonde person is just ignorant bigotry.

In our wedding we had about 50 Spaniards and 30 Brits, there were more blonde Spaniards than there were blonde Brits. Most Brits have dark hair you know, they dont look like Boris Johnson!

Btw, there is nothing wrong with dark haired or dark skinned people! But for you to be living in Spain and say what you are saying is quite amazing. But I am in a bad mood at the moment after the Gaurdian Spain week, I am thinking of cutting all ties to Britain (seriously)..

whitelinen

Rest assured that you wont be missed!

To mock the poster for making comment about skin and hair colour and then go on to throw a tantrum over an article in The Guardian by the idiot Toynbee is quite ridiculous actually.