I was in a multi-cultural, multi-national queue early this morning, quite a long one, about 20% of whom were expat Brits. We were all about to have some blood taken from us by a small team of Spaniards in white coats.

The queue consisted of fat people, thin people, some old and some young, and a Swedish philosopher next to me who seemed to know everyone.

'Watch them come out,' he said. 'It doesn't matter where they come from, they all feel the pain of the needle.'

The only stereotypical thing about them was the slight look of pain on their faces, apart from maybe the Muslim woman whose face was covered.

Bit of stereotyping going on the other way about people who live on the coast too Lots of second and third generation ex-pat businesses who have inter-married and employing Spanish people. Never noticed that ex-pats in the campo speak spanish and integrate any better than the coast.

There used to be a Brit woman lived close to us years ago. She would hang around the local shop and bar trying to speak in her Michael Thomas Spanish to anyone who was Spanish whilst ignoring anyone who appeared to be British. She thought she was integrated. In actual fact the Spanish thought she was a bit weird and used to joke about her when her back was turned.

I guess we thought it bothered you as you started a thread on it.

No, not bothered, simply peed off. There's a difference. I think.

What is worse.

The expat that is convinced he/she is fully integrated or the expat who lives in a urb. avoiding anything Spanish?

For me they are as bad as each other. It's called balance.

No, it's called prejudice!

I've come across many examples of both and neither bother me much, but I wouldn't mix closely with either. It comes back to personal choice.

If I walk into an expat bar with loud music and some drunk falling about on the karaoke machine, I walk out again. But I'm mindful that the customers who have gone there are enjoying the 'ambience' and I'm happy for them.

I've also sat in a Spanish restaurant at midnight and got annoyed at dozens of young children running about drowning out the live Sevillano music.

And the balance? I'm still looking for it.

And the balance? I'm still looking for it.

Best to stay at home and invite like-minded friends round

I'll never get fed up going out to look for it (the perfect balance), and I've just come back from another such venture. We walked about a mile to one of the five small commercial centres walkable within that distance.

In some respects it looked like a desert oasis because of the midday heat, but it's all there, the necessary cashpoint and a choice of seven bar/restuarants. We went to the pure Spanish one with a terrace full of all sorts of expats and a smattering of Spanish.

Apart from a couple of expat Brits with rotting livers, it was a happy crowd enjoying the crack and the shade. On my return I found that the walk had lost me 100 grams, so I'm a happy bunny.

There are all kinds of people in this world, from everywhere.

This thread reminds me of an acquaintance I know here - a couple from England who have been here 15 years, don't speak a word of Spanish, buy everything from English import shops, eat only English food, and complain incessantly about all the bloody foreigners. In fact, the male of the den drives like a complete idiot and curses loudly whenever anyone drives like him. He walks into a shop and speaks English. If they don't respond in English, he says it again in English, just louder and slower. "Bloody ignorant Spanish" he often says. Yes, everything he does is perfect, and everything anyone else does is bloody idiotic, even when it's exactly the same behaviour.

In contrast, I know another couple (German, not that it matters, really) who are very nice, have been here 30 years, speak Spanish fluently, have adopted a diet like the locals, developed their primary relationships with the locals, and have integrated well. Yet they exhibit very little knowledge or understanding about anything outside these borders. What they do know is the stereotypes they choose to read on the internet or in the local paper, but absolutely nada when it comes to actual true experiences in any other place. For these people, as far as they know, everything is absolutely perfect in Spain, and absolute crap everywhere else in the world. This kinda reminds me of one of our experts here, but I digress...

No matter where you go, there's people who live in a fantasy bubble, whether it's their own little world they never broke out of, or a new little world they've adopted. It has nothing to do with nationality, and everything to do with closed-mindedness, fear of the unknown, and arguably, arrogance. It's a shame, but that's reality, folks.

IMHO, this explains a lot about our condition...

Because of the number of expats living in Spain, there have been many well-informed books on the subject, in English, German and many of the other languages for the home countries' expats.

Philosophers have published essays, financial experts lurk on every corner and the native Spanish people have taken it all in their stride, glad of the change from their isolation during the Franco years.

This thread is about someone peed off with being stereotyped, when in reality it's about an individual unhappy with her circumstances. There's nothing wrong with that, we're all here searching for Eldorado, and I've never met anyone who has found it.

Apart from Stevie, but he only found it for a little while.

How on earth did you get to ?I am unhappy with my circumstances? from me posting the question ?

It's the way a lot of people get through life happily. As long as they aren't harming people directly i.e. blowing people up, shooting them with guns is it really that big an issue in a globalised world where lots of cultures are now living cheek by jowl. Live and let live. Does it really matter if someone eats Fish n Chips in Spain or Tapas in the UK, why is the first deemed reprehensible by some and the second a cultural triumph by others?

In the grand scheme of things it matters not a jot.

Think I have lost the topic somewhere in this.

We all try to make sense of the world and to that end stereo types are our saviours.

I haven't read the whole thread...but

we have a couple of Spanish kids staying with us to learn English - they go to a summer camp & stay with English families

yesterday evening a 'film crew' from the camp turned up to interview us - one question was 'do you think it's very different for the Spanish girls, living with an English family'?

they seemed quite disappointed when I said that they'd have to ask the girls, but that I suspect the only real difference is that we speak English & watch TV in English............. (& tbh unless these girls were with us, we probably wouldn't be doing much of either..)

I'm not sure what they expected, but asking the girls who are with us later, it seems that a lot of the Spanish kids are with families who are giving them pie & mash for dinner at 6pm............ how anyone can eat that in this heat is beyond me


I was also recently interviewed by a young woman for her masters thesis - she was interviewing local expat business people - at one point she actually asked me if I considered myself to be Spanish - because my attitudes & lifestyle were different to the others she had interviewed. I said no - I'm definitely English - we've just adapted our lifestyle to our surroundings

apparently the others were still very BritishwithacapitalB... but then knowing who they were they just haven't been here as long - I'm sure that the majority adapt with time

don't they??