for the sake of the children...
Mar 21st 2009, 4:23 pm
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: South Auckland
Posts: 2,228
Re: for the sake of the children...
Your marriage is probably the marriage your kids will emulate. Are you setting a good example of how to behave? A question to anyone really!
Mar 21st 2009, 4:32 pm
#27
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,187
Re: for the sake of the children...
MM, xx
Mar 21st 2009, 4:53 pm
#28
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Joined: Jan 2009
Location: South Auckland
Posts: 2,228
Re: for the sake of the children...
but which is the good example in this question, i'm not convinced either is...?? do you want your kids to stay in a loveless marriage when they could go on and meet someone who is their perfect match, or do you want your kids to split up and leave their kids in a single parent family...
MM, xx
MM, xx
The reason that I mentioned children is because often people will stay together for the sake of the children (the title of your thread), and not realise that the children are imprinting your unhappy marriage as normal, especially if they do not have a lot of alternative happy marriages to experience. They are not learning how a successful relationship works.
My own view is that if you truly think the children will suffer hardship you have to stay until they are old enough to be relatively independent. If you are staying because you want to keep the nice house, car, and lifestyle, then I would probably go. It wouldn't do the kids any harm to have to budget and do without the latest toy or fashionable clothes, and it might do them good to see mum take charge of her life.
Of course I don't have the full facts so I could have got that completely wrong!!
Mar 21st 2009, 4:55 pm
#29
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,434
Re: for the sake of the children...
That depends on your values. If you value happiness you would want your children to be happy, and if that meant leaving a loveless marriage fine. If you valued duty, then you would expect your children to stay in the marriage no matter how miserable they were.
The reason that I mentioned children is because often people will stay together for the sake of the children (the title of your thread), and not realise that the children are imprinting your unhappy marriage as normal, especially if they do not have a lot of alternative happy marriages to experience. They are not learning how a successful relationship works.
My own view is that if you truly think the children will suffer hardship you have to stay until they are old enough to be relatively independent. If you are staying because you want to keep the nice house, car, and lifestyle, then I would probably go. It wouldn't do the kids any harm to have to budget and do without the latest toy or fashionable clothes, and it might do them good to see mum take charge of her life.
Of course I don't have the full facts so I could have got that completely wrong!!
The reason that I mentioned children is because often people will stay together for the sake of the children (the title of your thread), and not realise that the children are imprinting your unhappy marriage as normal, especially if they do not have a lot of alternative happy marriages to experience. They are not learning how a successful relationship works.
My own view is that if you truly think the children will suffer hardship you have to stay until they are old enough to be relatively independent. If you are staying because you want to keep the nice house, car, and lifestyle, then I would probably go. It wouldn't do the kids any harm to have to budget and do without the latest toy or fashionable clothes, and it might do them good to see mum take charge of her life.
Of course I don't have the full facts so I could have got that completely wrong!!
