Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Nov 20th 2008, 4:50 am
#16
**** it we'll do it live
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Posts: 7,892
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Q. Two Dundonians jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
Q. What does a Dundee girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Dundee girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the Dundee girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a Dundee girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during a Dundee quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
Q. Two Dundee kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a Dundee boy and an Dundee girl?
A. A Dundee girl has a higher sperm count.
Q. What's the most confusing day in Dundee ?
A. Fathers day
A. Society.
Q. What does a Dundee girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Dundee girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the Dundee girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a Dundee girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during a Dundee quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
Q. Two Dundee kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a Dundee boy and an Dundee girl?
A. A Dundee girl has a higher sperm count.
Q. What's the most confusing day in Dundee ?
A. Fathers day
having spent a great deal of time in dundee (against my will) i can categorically state that these are not racial or cultural slurs but the absolute truth
Nov 20th 2008, 7:56 am
#18
Go on.. Pull my finger..
Joined: Jul 2008
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Posts: 5,726
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
A Dundee fan and his wife hand a £50 note to the turnstile operator at Dens Park and say, 'Two please'. The man man replies: 'Thank you. Now, would you like a goalie and a striker or two midfielders?'."
Nov 20th 2008, 7:58 am
#19
Go on.. Pull my finger..
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Posts: 5,726
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Being an Aberdonian, the only reason I would even drive through Dundee is as a toilet stop on the way to Glasgow!!!! If I went before I left, its the Scone road from Forfar and down thru Perth.......
Nov 20th 2008, 8:21 am
#20
**** it we'll do it live
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Dubai
Posts: 7,892
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
unfortunately i had to work there whilst living in aberdeen, funnily enough that was the job i quit to come back here.......maybe i should thank dundee????
Nov 20th 2008, 8:23 am
#21
Go on.. Pull my finger..
Joined: Jul 2008
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Posts: 5,726
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Ha, I did it the other way about. Lived in Aberdeen and commuted to Dundee. On several occasions they asked me to move down, to which I would promptly offer my resignation.....
Nov 20th 2008, 9:01 am
#22
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Used to play in the Dundee league from U10-U18's.
Had golf clubs taken to me in Fintry
Had our car's tyres punctured in Douglas
Dodged needles in the Hilltoon.
Aye its a dump.
Wonder why i recently bought a riverside apartment there
Had golf clubs taken to me in Fintry
Had our car's tyres punctured in Douglas
Dodged needles in the Hilltoon.
Aye its a dump.
Wonder why i recently bought a riverside apartment there
Nov 20th 2008, 9:05 am
#23
Go on.. Pull my finger..
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Dubai
Posts: 5,726
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Coconut Grove, Fat Sam's etc... I have never seen so much upper lip facial hair in one place, and it wasn't just the guys......
Nov 20th 2008, 11:04 am
#24
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Nov 20th 2008, 1:28 pm
#25
A bubbly-jock...
Joined: Mar 2005
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Posts: 6,262
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Two in every one people in Dundee are schizophrenic. !
Nov 20th 2008, 1:53 pm
#26
A bubbly-jock...
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Dundee 4X Cup-holder:
Dundee Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Dundee Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Dundee Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Dundee Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it any longer. The Dundee caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.
Dundee Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Dundee Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Dundee Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Dundee Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it any longer. The Dundee caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.
Nov 20th 2008, 9:52 pm
#27
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Posts: 17
Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
C'mon - nobody with any credibility whatsoever ever went to the coconut grove!
Anybody remember The Sands before it became Buddies? (Hate to think what it is now!)
Anybody remember The Sands before it became Buddies? (Hate to think what it is now!)
Nov 21st 2008, 4:41 am
#28
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Your now talking about dd5, broughty ferry. This is not dundee.
Buddies is now a restaurant type thing.
Broughty ferry is a lovely place to be fair.
All the dundeh minks dream of having a DD5 postcode.
Buddies is now a restaurant type thing.
Broughty ferry is a lovely place to be fair.
All the dundeh minks dream of having a DD5 postcode.
Nov 21st 2008, 5:04 am
#29
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Location: France
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Thanks - understand that.
For info, douglas also comes under DD5 (or it did at one time)!
Oh for a wallace's bridie!
For info, douglas also comes under DD5 (or it did at one time)!
Oh for a wallace's bridie!
Nov 21st 2008, 5:45 am
#30
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Re: Dundee, Scottish Scousers....a few jokes about the City of Discovery...
Wallaces, tut tut. Gota be a mclarens bridie from forfar