Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Old Nov 21st 2007, 1:14 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by kevinl
Has anyone considered the chance that the husband might actually be right?

As I remember this story he did some adding up before they went and worked out that it may not be right for his family.
Then he decided to give it a try, just in case he may be proved wrong.
Now he may have been proved right and the best thing for his family is to go back.
Australia is alright, its not special enough to break your family up over.
Come back, take advantage of all the things europe has to offer and stop being so selfish.

Kev
More to the story kev, he's very minapulative and been a right little buggar.....

S-j x
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Old Nov 21st 2007, 10:22 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by wombatboy
i have stayed here for 2 years after i told my wife i wanted to return to UK. she is aussie though and now we have had a baby so I have to respect her wanting to be around her family.
But regardless of this before hand i gave her some time to come to terms with me wanting to go back and so she could at least decide for how long she wanted to try uk.

your hubby should give you some time to adjust to the situ ... and in that time maybe you can plan ahead.

2 months is bugger all time although i am sure perth is A LOT quieter than sydney
Alot quieter would be an under-estimation.!! The city itself is tiny.

I do believe that after afew weeks in Perth you get the jist of it, so it either works for you or it won't.
I'm ending my 2nd year here and still think the same as what i did a week after i landed here. We are all different, so to call people because they don't settle here is somewhat very wrong. (not aimed at you btw)
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Old Nov 22nd 2007, 12:23 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
Alot quieter would be an under-estimation.!! The city itself is tiny.

I do believe that after afew weeks in Perth you get the jist of it, so it either works for you or it won't.
I'm ending my 2nd year here and still think the same as what i did a week after i landed here. We are all different, so to call people because they don't settle here is somewhat very wrong. (not aimed at you btw)
I would agree. Perth is very small and nothing much changes..not too many surprises in Perth. I have been coming back and forth for the last 12 years. The biggest change has been money so with that some good changes and some not so good.
Came to 'live' 5 months ago and knew as well within a month that living here wasn't going to work for us. So you can't put timeframes of how long people should give it, it only increases their stress levels. Everybody's stories, expectations and values are so different it is impossible for others to judge. Support and encourage yes but not dictate that certain time frames are necessary. The other problem about prolonging an inevitable decision is the time out of UK and being able to settle back...not easy!!
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Old Nov 22nd 2007, 3:35 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
Alot quieter would be an under-estimation.!! The city itself is tiny.

I do believe that after afew weeks in Perth you get the jist of it, so it either works for you or it won't.
I'm ending my 2nd year here and still think the same as what i did a week after i landed here. We are all different, so to call people because they don't settle here is somewhat very wrong. (not aimed at you btw)
well, i settled initially in sydney because with all my backpacker mates that stayed, aussie mates aquired , experiencing something new and the good clubbing scene i was q happy here.
but after all that featured less in my lifestlye ...something missing became more apparent which was stuff from home like proximity to other cities, cultural differences and sense of humour (well, that is a big cultural thing aswell) . oh yeah...and the complete insular nature of some people including some of my wifes family who frustrate the shit out of me

I assume perth would have been too quiet for me from the getgo aswell
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Old Nov 22nd 2007, 4:34 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by wombatboy
well, i settled initially in sydney because with all my backpacker mates that stayed, aussie mates aquired , experiencing something new and the good clubbing scene i was q happy here.
but after all that featured less in my lifestlye ...something missing became more apparent which was stuff from home like proximity to other cities, cultural differences and sense of humour (well, that is a big cultural thing aswell) . oh yeah...and the complete insular nature of some people including some of my wifes family who frustrate the shit out of me

I assume perth would have been too quiet for me from the getgo aswell
You assume right

My OH's family also live in Perth, with a MIL who i think is vile. So all mixed up in a bowl, the contents to stay in Perth is nil.

Nice sunny day today, but it spoilt by zillions of flies it is hard here.
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Old Nov 22nd 2007, 9:18 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by lorids
I would agree. Perth is very small and nothing much changes..not too many surprises in Perth. I have been coming back and forth for the last 12 years. The biggest change has been money so with that some good changes and some not so good.
Came to 'live' 5 months ago and knew as well within a month that living here wasn't going to work for us. So you can't put timeframes of how long people should give it, it only increases their stress levels. Everybody's stories, expectations and values are so different it is impossible for others to judge. Support and encourage yes but not dictate that certain time frames are necessary. The other problem about prolonging an inevitable decision is the time out of UK and being able to settle back...not easy!!
Hi A bit confused with your post. If you dont like Perth why do you still return time after time. The Grass is always greener.....or is it.
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Old Nov 22nd 2007, 12:56 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by isleofmanmike
Hi A bit confused with your post. If you dont like Perth why do you still return time after time. The Grass is always greener.....or is it.
Hi
Don't think I said I didn't like Perth. I love Perth for holidays. In the past have never stayed more than 5 weeks. Married a Perth boy 15 years ago so have been back and forward visiting family!!!!! duty calls and all that. Thought living here would be great but alas definitely not for us so keeping it as a holiday destination. Glad we tried as always wondered and I certainly wouldn't slate it but for us no the grass (and life) is definitely greener back home. Sorry post wasn't clear.
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Old Nov 23rd 2007, 6:55 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
He truly believes that we are worse off here financially than back in the UK and with the two year qualifying period for some state benefits and for lending for house loans/mortgages he is well and truly peed off!
Why do you have to wait two years to qualify for a home loan or mortgage?

Personally I agree with the majority here, two months is not long enough to give things a go. The first two or three months are usually a pretty strange time, you have the elation of actually arrived, the headless chicken bit trying to get things sorted and get your head around stuff, then the suddenly reality that you live here now that hits you in the face like a wet fish!!!

It takes time AND effort to make friends and feel part of life here. It can be hard, I remember in the early days having times when I just wanted to hide away in the house and not make any effort, but unless he can be bothered to try he wont make friends.

Good friends of ours had a similar situation: her and her son loved it, he hated it and was really low for quite a while, they thought they'd end up going back but something just "clicked" and now they are all really happy.

I dont know the full story behind your relationship, but what I do know is it's unfair of someone to give ultimatums, especially when you are pregnant and emotions run wild anyway.

(((HUG)))
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Old Nov 24th 2007, 12:13 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by bridie
Why do you have to wait two years to qualify for a home loan or mortgage?

Personally I agree with the majority here, two months is not long enough to give things a go. The first two or three months are usually a pretty strange time, you have the elation of actually arrived, the headless chicken bit trying to get things sorted and get your head around stuff, then the suddenly reality that you live here now that hits you in the face like a wet fish!!!

It takes time AND effort to make friends and feel part of life here. It can be hard, I remember in the early days having times when I just wanted to hide away in the house and not make any effort, but unless he can be bothered to try he wont make friends.

Good friends of ours had a similar situation: her and her son loved it, he hated it and was really low for quite a while, they thought they'd end up going back but something just "clicked" and now they are all really happy.

I dont know the full story behind your relationship, but what I do know is it's unfair of someone to give ultimatums, especially when you are pregnant and emotions run wild anyway.

(((HUG)))
We came with no savings and had no house to sell. Would need a 100% mortgage and the banks wont lend it unless you have permanent residency. Which is after 2 years of being in Australia.

Mother in law being a right bitch cant stand her whinging any more I am looking at a rental on monday, got nothing to put in it but will sleep on the floor if it means getting away from her! God help the agent if we dont get it! I am ready to spill blood!
At this point in time if someone offered me a flight back I would take it! Fed up of two faced people and bitching behind my back all the time. Stressed to the max!
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Old Nov 24th 2007, 1:03 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
We came with no savings and had no house to sell. Would need a 100% mortgage and the banks wont lend it unless you have permanent residency. Which is after 2 years of being in Australia.

Mother in law being a right bitch cant stand her whinging any more I am looking at a rental on monday, got nothing to put in it but will sleep on the floor if it means getting away from her! God help the agent if we dont get it! I am ready to spill blood!
At this point in time if someone offered me a flight back I would take it! Fed up of two faced people and bitching behind my back all the time. Stressed to the max!
Rach, I wish I could just come over to your house and give you a big hug.

Take care honey, and whatever happens there are people here that care about you. Do what is in your heart mate, never mind what any of us say - you are the one who has to live your life. x Big hugs and lots of love
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Old Nov 24th 2007, 1:12 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
We came with no savings and had no house to sell. Would need a 100% mortgage and the banks wont lend it unless you have permanent residency. Which is after 2 years of being in Australia.

Mother in law being a right bitch cant stand her whinging any more I am looking at a rental on monday, got nothing to put in it but will sleep on the floor if it means getting away from her! God help the agent if we dont get it! I am ready to spill blood!
At this point in time if someone offered me a flight back I would take it! Fed up of two faced people and bitching behind my back all the time. Stressed to the max!
Really hope the stress eases. Can't be easy for you. Not sure of the situation but re 100% mortgages we were offered one (although still need to pay mortgage insurance etc.) from the westpac. Have been here about 18 months now and both have jobs and PR. Info probably won't help but hey you never know.

Hugs sent.

Cheers

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Old Nov 24th 2007, 2:31 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Fed up of two faced people and bitching behind my back all the time. Stressed to the max!
Rach, when people have two faces it is because they are greedy monkeypigs and usually, both faces are exceedingly ugly.

Dont let them get you down, I hope you get the rental you have gone for, failing that you need to rub red hot chilli peppers into your MIL's underwear as payback.

It must be bloody hard for you and I sincerely hope that you find a solution to it all.
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Old Nov 24th 2007, 11:46 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
We came with no savings and had no house to sell. Would need a 100% mortgage and the banks wont lend it unless you have permanent residency. Which is after 2 years of being in Australia.

Mother in law being a right bitch cant stand her whinging any more I am looking at a rental on monday, got nothing to put in it but will sleep on the floor if it means getting away from her! God help the agent if we dont get it! I am ready to spill blood!
At this point in time if someone offered me a flight back I would take it! Fed up of two faced people and bitching behind my back all the time. Stressed to the max!
Rachel, how come you haven't permenant residency - I thought you came over via your skilled occupation ?

Hope things are ok with you and your OH - it must be putting a huge strain on your relationship.
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Old Nov 25th 2007, 1:30 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by sme
Rachel, how come you haven't permenant residency - I thought you came over via your skilled occupation ?

Hope things are ok with you and your OH - it must be putting a huge strain on your relationship.
We have come over on a skilled independent 136 visa which is a Permanent Residency visa. However for some things there is a 2 year qualifying period until they actually accept you as a permanent resident. If I was a single mom I would get some help but not the same as a citizen. Therefore would be extremely hard for me to stay here on my own. I think I could appeal and try and get rental assistance and family assistance but at the moment I can only get minimum rate on childcare which is $7 off my weekly £200 nursery fees. I wont get rent assistance or family benefit or maternity benefit. I get about $400 a month thats it. I earn $1200 a fortnight so I am sure you can see how hard it would be going it alone?
The rental we are looking at on monday is $320 per week. We have nothing to put into it thats why we were looking for a holdiday rental they are more per week but furnished so we could just stay until next year. At the moment I have some medical problems which may mean we will have to stay until after the baby is born. Hence we are going for a rental now.

Cheers xx
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Old Nov 25th 2007, 2:27 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
We have come over on a skilled independent 136 visa which is a Permanent Residency visa. However for some things there is a 2 year qualifying period until they actually accept you as a permanent resident. If I was a single mom I would get some help but not the same as a citizen. Therefore would be extremely hard for me to stay here on my own. I think I could appeal and try and get rental assistance and family assistance but at the moment I can only get minimum rate on childcare which is $7 off my weekly £200 nursery fees. I wont get rent assistance or family benefit or maternity benefit. I get about $400 a month thats it. I earn $1200 a fortnight so I am sure you can see how hard it would be going it alone?
The rental we are looking at on monday is $320 per week. We have nothing to put into it thats why we were looking for a holdiday rental they are more per week but furnished so we could just stay until next year. At the moment I have some medical problems which may mean we will have to stay until after the baby is born. Hence we are going for a rental now.

Cheers xx

sorry am a tad confused, do you get $400 per month benefits, but are not entitled to rent assistance or family benefit,so where does the $400 come from am just asking as i am on the same visa but get rent assistance and family benefit, am i not actually entitled to this, i was also looking at this link which leads me to believe i am still entitled to it or do you mean this is the entire entitlement if you were alone????

sorry for being fick


http://www.immi.gov.au/media/publica...titlements.pdf

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