How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Jan 27th 2006, 12:43 am
#1
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How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
We have in Brisbane for over 2 and half years and yesterday received our Australian citizenship. However we have been in a state of confusion for sometime now as to whether we should return to the U.K.
I have read many of the posts re: reasons for returning to the UK and I have to agree with all of the reasons given i.e. missing friends and family and a sense of belonging. So why is it then that we are finding it so impossible to reach a decision about going back home?
I have to be honest and say that both my husband and I love where we live -the sense of privacy, space, tropical birds, peace and tranquility is truly paradise.
We have met a number of people and have got involved in some organisations but we haven't 'really' gelled with anyone - I know this takes time but from what I gather from reading this forum it isn't unusual to feel this way even after 5 years of living here.
The question is, will we ever settle or are we striving in the hope that we will when in reality we probably won't? What are the real statistics for poms settling in other countries not their own?
I am becoming increasingly exasperated by it all and time is ticking - as someone on this forum said ' life isn't a rehearsal' and we can't keep living as if in a state of limbo.
Any advice would be graciously received.
Jan 27th 2006, 12:49 am
#2
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by PADDAD
We have in Brisbane for over 2 and half years and yesterday received our Australian citizenship. However we have been in a state of confusion for sometime now as to whether we should return to the U.K.
I have read many of the posts re: reasons for returning to the UK and I have to agree with all of the reasons given i.e. missing friends and family and a sense of belonging. So why is it then that we are finding it so impossible to reach a decision about going back home?
I have to be honest and say that both my husband and I love where we live -the sense of privacy, space, tropical birds, peace and tranquility is truly paradise.
We have met a number of people and have got involved in some organisations but we haven't 'really' gelled with anyone - I know this takes time but from what I gather from reading this forum it isn't unusual to feel this way even after 5 years of living here.
The question is, will we ever settle or are we striving in the hope that we will when in reality we probably won't? What are the real statistics for poms settling in other countries not their own?
I am becoming increasingly exasperated by it all and time is ticking - as someone on this forum said ' life isn't a rehearsal' and we can't keep living as if in a state of limbo.
Any advice would be graciously received.
Its like torture isnt it, how old are your kids, are the at the age it gets complicated?, education wise, older kids relationship/job wise etc, if the answer to that is no from my trials and tribulations (read back from UK thread if you like a bit of agony
) GO NOW, it will only get more complicated and worse.Of course common sense would preferably allow at least one person the expense of a trip back, just to make sure the job, house, cost of living thing is as you anticipate.
Jan 27th 2006, 1:17 am
#3
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Sorry can't offer any advice as we are in the same quandary as you - also received our citizenship yesterday.
We made the trip "home" over Christmas but it didn't really help make up our minds one way or the other - in fact we feel even more mixed up than ever.
Money is, for us, probably is the biggest obstacle to returning - we came around the same time as you so didn't get a fantastic exchange rate at the time nor have we made anything on the property we purchased here. House prices in the area of England we used to live in have risen by +20%.
Could we be happy living in a smaller house/poorer area?
One the other hand will we ever feel settled here?
Like you I hate this living in a state of limbo.
We made the trip "home" over Christmas but it didn't really help make up our minds one way or the other - in fact we feel even more mixed up than ever.
Money is, for us, probably is the biggest obstacle to returning - we came around the same time as you so didn't get a fantastic exchange rate at the time nor have we made anything on the property we purchased here. House prices in the area of England we used to live in have risen by +20%.
Could we be happy living in a smaller house/poorer area?
One the other hand will we ever feel settled here?
Like you I hate this living in a state of limbo.
Jan 27th 2006, 1:53 am
#4
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 182
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
You do a lot of planning!
Everything from: Kids, education, money, housing, location, family & friends etc.
I mean you reached a decision to move to an almost unkwown place, should it be that much harder to make a decision you feel almost certain will benefit you more? Even more so, you have a better view on what it will be like this time.
I would learn and take notes from whatever experience you had before hand, some up the pros and cons of each. Then discuss with all the family members and try come to a group(ish) decision!
I guess?
Me on the other hand, I just don't click here. I have learned alot here, I also feel that I have missed some prime years of my life. Those years wasted in a sense, worrying about things the average teen shouldn't have to deal with. . . instead of livin' it up in the younger years. Still young though, don't wanna waste the rest of my life adapting to a culture because I have to do so and not enjoying it in the process.
The opportunity presented itself for me to be able to move back home. I have looked into the complications and can imagine I'll run into a fair few. But! Whats a few, or even a load complications when the rewards lifelong?
The fact you just got your Oz citzenship is a bit of PITA, as you have more of a foundation to support againest you
Still anythings possible!
Best of luck
Everything from: Kids, education, money, housing, location, family & friends etc.
I mean you reached a decision to move to an almost unkwown place, should it be that much harder to make a decision you feel almost certain will benefit you more? Even more so, you have a better view on what it will be like this time.
I would learn and take notes from whatever experience you had before hand, some up the pros and cons of each. Then discuss with all the family members and try come to a group(ish) decision!
I guess?
Me on the other hand, I just don't click here. I have learned alot here, I also feel that I have missed some prime years of my life. Those years wasted in a sense, worrying about things the average teen shouldn't have to deal with. . . instead of livin' it up in the younger years. Still young though, don't wanna waste the rest of my life adapting to a culture because I have to do so and not enjoying it in the process.
The opportunity presented itself for me to be able to move back home. I have looked into the complications and can imagine I'll run into a fair few. But! Whats a few, or even a load complications when the rewards lifelong?
The fact you just got your Oz citzenship is a bit of PITA, as you have more of a foundation to support againest you
Still anythings possible!Best of luck
Jan 27th 2006, 2:09 am
#5
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
It's such a difficult desicion isn't it? 
There are things about Oz that I find great and thoroughly enjoy. We have achieved everything we set out to achieve in the way of larger house, more quality family time, living in a nicer climate etc etc etc, but it still doesn't FEEL right.
All I know is this: if we return to the UK, yes I know we'll have a smaller house, less disposable income, have to make new friends, put kids into the UK education system, yadda yadda yadda...but at least I'll hope to wake up every morning without that wrenching knot in my stomach!
Only you guys can make this decision and decide what's best for you. But one thing I have learnt through all of this is to listen to your gut instincts, they're usually right!
Good luck
There are things about Oz that I find great and thoroughly enjoy. We have achieved everything we set out to achieve in the way of larger house, more quality family time, living in a nicer climate etc etc etc, but it still doesn't FEEL right.
All I know is this: if we return to the UK, yes I know we'll have a smaller house, less disposable income, have to make new friends, put kids into the UK education system, yadda yadda yadda...but at least I'll hope to wake up every morning without that wrenching knot in my stomach!
Only you guys can make this decision and decide what's best for you. But one thing I have learnt through all of this is to listen to your gut instincts, they're usually right!
Good luck
Jan 27th 2006, 2:58 am
#6
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
It is such a tough one and I feel just the same way you do - common sense says stay here but it's the emotional side that leaves the knot in my stomach and it's hard for the two to co-exist!
Added to that is the fact that my partner doesn't feel the same - I would love to hear from people who have made the move back when one half isn't as keen as the other. Does it work long-term?
I worry that if I push for a move it will ruin our relationship if it's not what he really wants......on the other hand the same could happen here if I stay
Added to that is the fact that my partner doesn't feel the same - I would love to hear from people who have made the move back when one half isn't as keen as the other. Does it work long-term?
I worry that if I push for a move it will ruin our relationship if it's not what he really wants......on the other hand the same could happen here if I stay
Originally Posted by TraceyW
It's such a difficult desicion isn't it?
There are things about Oz that I find great and thoroughly enjoy. We have achieved everything we set out to achieve in the way of larger house, more quality family time, living in a nicer climate etc etc etc, but it still doesn't FEEL right.
All I know is this: if we return to the UK, yes I know we'll have a smaller house, less disposable income, have to make new friends, put kids into the UK education system, yadda yadda yadda...but at least I'll hope to wake up every morning without that wrenching knot in my stomach!
Only you guys can make this decision and decide what's best for you. But one thing I have learnt through all of this is to listen to your gut instincts, they're usually right!
Good luck
There are things about Oz that I find great and thoroughly enjoy. We have achieved everything we set out to achieve in the way of larger house, more quality family time, living in a nicer climate etc etc etc, but it still doesn't FEEL right.
All I know is this: if we return to the UK, yes I know we'll have a smaller house, less disposable income, have to make new friends, put kids into the UK education system, yadda yadda yadda...but at least I'll hope to wake up every morning without that wrenching knot in my stomach!
Only you guys can make this decision and decide what's best for you. But one thing I have learnt through all of this is to listen to your gut instincts, they're usually right!
Good luck
Jan 27th 2006, 2:58 am
#7
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Thanks for your advice everyone!Sometimes it really helps to bounce these questions off people who are in the same boat - it is consoling to feel 'normal'.
I am beginning to feel that it is the people you love and care about who make you happy and not inanimite (ooh did I spell inanimite right?) objects like beautiful homes and things, those 'things' give the illussion of happiness but at the end of the day it's people that count.
Perhaps it's this shallow side of me that is confusing the issue. I think I know deep down that what I really want is to return to the U.K. and grow old with people that I really care about. Besides it's my 40th next Aug and I want a big party which really isn't going to happen here since I don't know many people.
So next thing on the list would be to get hubby on the same wave length (he is currently confused)...
Jan 27th 2006, 3:28 am
#8
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
It certainly feels to us that now we have citizenship it is crunch time...
The exchange rate isn't too bad at the moment and whilst our children are loving it here, they are still young enough to painlessly make the transition back to the UK way of life (hopefully).
However, this seems to be a harder decision than it was to come here - and believe me that wasn't easy.
After we had been here six months we were all set to return but decided to stick it out for at least a couple of years for the following reasons:
a) Achieve citizenship
b) After all the effort and turmoil of making the move in the first place we felt as everyone at the time suggested, that we needed to give it more time.
My biggest fear at the time was becoming "trapped" here and at the moment that is exactly how I feel.
I do know the longer we stay, the harder it will be to return.
The exchange rate isn't too bad at the moment and whilst our children are loving it here, they are still young enough to painlessly make the transition back to the UK way of life (hopefully).
However, this seems to be a harder decision than it was to come here - and believe me that wasn't easy.
After we had been here six months we were all set to return but decided to stick it out for at least a couple of years for the following reasons:
a) Achieve citizenship
b) After all the effort and turmoil of making the move in the first place we felt as everyone at the time suggested, that we needed to give it more time.
My biggest fear at the time was becoming "trapped" here and at the moment that is exactly how I feel.
I do know the longer we stay, the harder it will be to return.
Last edited by Grey Wolf; Jan 27th 2006 at 3:39 am.
Jan 27th 2006, 3:31 am
#9
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by PADDAD
Thanks for your advice everyone!Sometimes it really helps to bounce these questions off people who are in the same boat - it is consoling to feel 'normal'.
I am beginning to feel that it is the people you love and care about who make you happy and not inanimite (ooh did I spell inanimite right?) objects like beautiful homes and things, those 'things' give the illussion of happiness but at the end of the day it's people that count.
Perhaps it's this shallow side of me that is confusing the issue. I think I know deep down that what I really want is to return to the U.K. and grow old with people that I really care about. Besides it's my 40th next Aug and I want a big party which really isn't going to happen here since I don't know many people.
So next thing on the list would be to get hubby on the same wave length (he is currently confused)...
I've decided that "life" for me is about people and relationships and the moments we share...... not about diving into a pool at the end of the day, or traipsing to the beach each weekend.......
Cor, it's lashing down with rain at the moment - pity I left my raincoat in Blighty!!!
Jan 27th 2006, 5:09 am
#10
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 629
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
It just takes months of waiting for the answer. The big question is "Is life here significantly better than what we could have in the UK?". For us the answer is no. Australia nowhere near lives up to its self-proclaimed 'best country in the world' title. It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay.
Jan 27th 2006, 5:39 am
#11
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by PADDAD
We have in Brisbane for over 2 and half years and yesterday received our Australian citizenship. However we have been in a state of confusion for sometime now as to whether we should return to the U.K.
I have read many of the posts re: reasons for returning to the UK and I have to agree with all of the reasons given i.e. missing friends and family and a sense of belonging. So why is it then that we are finding it so impossible to reach a decision about going back home?
I have to be honest and say that both my husband and I love where we live -the sense of privacy, space, tropical birds, peace and tranquility is truly paradise.
We have met a number of people and have got involved in some organisations but we haven't 'really' gelled with anyone - I know this takes time but from what I gather from reading this forum it isn't unusual to feel this way even after 5 years of living here.
The question is, will we ever settle or are we striving in the hope that we will when in reality we probably won't? What are the real statistics for poms settling in other countries not their own?
I am becoming increasingly exasperated by it all and time is ticking - as someone on this forum said ' life isn't a rehearsal' and we can't keep living as if in a state of limbo.
Any advice would be graciously received.
Hi
It is a very tough decision. We have only been here one year and went back to UK for Christmas. I feel so much more settled on our return. At first everyone makes a fuss and I think my 11 yr old daughter would have said she preferred the UK but after a few weeks when everything went back to how it used to be, things looked different. My daughter is now so much happier here in Australia as all the things she thought she missed, she realised the sacrifice was worth it and in fact hadn't missed much at all.
Would it be possible for you to take a holiday to UK, but one longer than 2 weeks as this could well make your mind up.
I found irritated by people moaning about the exact same things they were moaning about 12 months earlier. Nothing changes and sometimes I think when you have been away for an extended period of time you only remember the good things.
Jan 27th 2006, 5:49 am
#12
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by ShozInOz
It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay.
I'll second that comment!!!!!
Jan 27th 2006, 5:56 am
#13
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by mand8002
Hi
It is a very tough decision. We have only been here one year and went back to UK for Christmas. I feel so much more settled on our return. At first everyone makes a fuss and I think my 11 yr old daughter would have said she preferred the UK but after a few weeks when everything went back to how it used to be, things looked different. My daughter is now so much happier here in Australia as all the things she thought she missed, she realised the sacrifice was worth it and in fact hadn't missed much at all.
Would it be possible for you to take a holiday to UK, but one longer than 2 weeks as this could well make your mind up.
I found irritated by people moaning about the exact same things they were moaning about 12 months earlier. Nothing changes and sometimes I think when you have been away for an extended period of time you only remember the good things.
It is a very tough decision. We have only been here one year and went back to UK for Christmas. I feel so much more settled on our return. At first everyone makes a fuss and I think my 11 yr old daughter would have said she preferred the UK but after a few weeks when everything went back to how it used to be, things looked different. My daughter is now so much happier here in Australia as all the things she thought she missed, she realised the sacrifice was worth it and in fact hadn't missed much at all.
Would it be possible for you to take a holiday to UK, but one longer than 2 weeks as this could well make your mind up.
I found irritated by people moaning about the exact same things they were moaning about 12 months earlier. Nothing changes and sometimes I think when you have been away for an extended period of time you only remember the good things.
I think in our case its more that we miss our family and friends and of course daylight saving, Christmas in the real sense, English pubs, culture, history, countryside, snow, a glass of sherry in front of the fireplace, Tesco, M&S, Sainsburys, squash club etc etc etc., oh and even a bit of grey sky from time to time. Although I have to agree with ShozinOz where he says "The big question is "Is life here significantly better than what we could have in the UK?". For us the answer is no. Australia nowhere near lives up to its self-proclaimed 'best country in the world' title. It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay. . t"
Jan 27th 2006, 6:05 am
#14
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by PADDAD
Hi
I think in our case its more that we miss our family and friends and of course daylight saving, Christmas in the real sense, English pubs, culture, history, countryside, snow, a glass of sherry in front of the fireplace, Tesco, M&S, Sainsburys, squash club etc etc etc., oh and even a bit of grey sky from time to time. Although I have to agree with ShozinOz where he says "The big question is "Is life here significantly better than what we could have in the UK?". For us the answer is no. Australia nowhere near lives up to its self-proclaimed 'best country in the world' title. It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay. . t"
I think in our case its more that we miss our family and friends and of course daylight saving, Christmas in the real sense, English pubs, culture, history, countryside, snow, a glass of sherry in front of the fireplace, Tesco, M&S, Sainsburys, squash club etc etc etc., oh and even a bit of grey sky from time to time. Although I have to agree with ShozinOz where he says "The big question is "Is life here significantly better than what we could have in the UK?". For us the answer is no. Australia nowhere near lives up to its self-proclaimed 'best country in the world' title. It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay. . t"
Jan 27th 2006, 10:14 am
#15
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Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by ShozInOz
It just takes months of waiting for the answer. The big question is "Is life here significantly better than what we could have in the UK?". For us the answer is no. Australia nowhere near lives up to its self-proclaimed 'best country in the world' title. It's nice, and it if were a hell of a lot smaller, cooler, more cultured, more interesting, and nearer to the rest of the world, we might stay.
quote by Lord Pom Percy
Is'nt being a large, hot, uncultured country what attracts most poms to OZ.
No
and if it is...well they're the ones that love it here and stay