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Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

View Poll Results: Happy with your choice of coming back to Blighty?
Yes, wild horses would not shift me, a happy chappy
22
25.29%
Yes, but would not discount moving overseas again!
18
20.69%
OK, but I am looking to move on OR about to move on
13
14.94%
No, the worse thing I ever did, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!
34
39.08%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Old Jun 8th 2005, 10:36 pm
  #136  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by uk+kiwi
Greetings Mrs Merlot,

Thanks for your message. You have moved around a lot! Very intrigued to hear your views on life in HK and Israel. I do rather fancy Asia, although think it could be the end of us financially, and Israel - how/why/what/where? How unique. Also, at what age did you enjoy these adventures?

Also, getting personal now, are you hoping to have children at some point, 'caus I would imagine that would affect your thinking in terms of where to live

And finally, so pleased you (& hubbie) have built some bridges/relationships - has it been a rather emotional time? I think you need a time out holiday and something will bounce out at you!

Here's a hug for your openness...............................(not sure how to do karma!)
Hi there again, thanks for your response. I don't mind being open about things on the Forum as we are all human with many issues.

I am 35, we have chose not to have children so moving around would not be an issue.

I travelled the most in my 20's, hubby is not a big traveller so that has settled over the years. Hong Kong was great in early 90's as you could turn up and get work, a lot more restrictions now.

Israel, went for 3 week holiday, ended up getting a place on a Kibbutz and stayed for 6 months, then did some travelling.

I believe life is for living, off to Germany for 5 days at the end of the month, a mind and body break.

Be lucky

M
 
Old Jun 8th 2005, 11:19 pm
  #137  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by Merlot
Hi there again, thanks for your response. I don't mind being open about things on the Forum as we are all human with many issues.

I am 35, we have chose not to have children so moving around would not be an issue.

I travelled the most in my 20's, hubby is not a big traveller so that has settled over the years. Hong Kong was great in early 90's as you could turn up and get work, a lot more restrictions now.

Israel, went for 3 week holiday, ended up getting a place on a Kibbutz and stayed for 6 months, then did some travelling.

I believe life is for living, off to Germany for 5 days at the end of the month, a mind and body break.

Be lucky

M
Great attitude Enjoy the break, sounds fantastic! I have just spent the evening cleaning dishes and doing the weekly internet shop whilst my hubbie is out on the beers! Oh after putting 2 littlies to bed of course. How exciting! I do know how to have a good time Well okay, I have been on here a bit too. Anyhow, I'm knackered and am off to bed now ....sleep well
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Old Jun 8th 2005, 11:27 pm
  #138  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by uk+kiwi
So I don't think that moving to a different country can make you happy, BUT I think that where you live certainly affects your outlook on life (I feel so much better when the sun shines for example) and nothing needs to be forever, unless you are one of the unfortunate few who really do have no choices about moving on/back again.
Actually, very few have the opportunity to move countries if only because it usually is expensive and requires jumping many immigration hurdles. I think one is fortunate just to have had a chance. That doesn't mean you should stay even if you are unhappy -- but you are lucky to have been able to find out, rather than to only be able to dream and wonder.
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Old Jun 8th 2005, 11:31 pm
  #139  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by Merlot
Hi there again, thanks for your response. I don't mind being open about things on the Forum as we are all human with many issues.

I am 35, we have chose not to have children so moving around would not be an issue.

I travelled the most in my 20's, hubby is not a big traveller so that has settled over the years. Hong Kong was great in early 90's as you could turn up and get work, a lot more restrictions now.

Israel, went for 3 week holiday, ended up getting a place on a Kibbutz and stayed for 6 months, then did some travelling.

I believe life is for living, off to Germany for 5 days at the end of the month, a mind and body break.

Be lucky

M
Forgot to say, good on you for choosing not to have children, assuming you are at peace with this (since sooo many people/women aren't) since I think too many people have them that basically shouldn't, and not for the best reasons, although perhaps this is only found out in hindsight. Anyhow, now I really am going to bed..my husband has just walked in the door
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 3:21 am
  #140  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

It has been very interesting reading the various responses concerning going back. My husband and I moved to the USA in March of 1995 after he was head hunted. It was not a quick decision, he had his interview for the job in 1993 but it took until January of 1995 before we got our interview for our green cards. I didn't feel I was "leaving home" since we had for some years previous spent a month or more each year in the US on vacation.

Since we arrived, we have been back to the UK once, in 1997. We went for two weeks but after one week I was ready to "return home". I didn't feel that the UK was my home. I felt claustrophbic and the M25 and M1 scared the crap out of me. lololol.

I don't think I have ever felt really homesick. Yes, I miss things. I miss not being able to walk to the local store, those inpromtu trips to the pub for a bar meal, the dressing up and going out to eat for a special occasion, Marks and Spencer custard tarts, and of course the British sense of humor. I don't miss the cold damp winters and high gas prices.

The one thing that did mar my visit to the UK was that some people seemed to resent how well we had done in a short space of time.

Opportunity doesn't come knocking too often during our lives, so when it does you have to seriously think about taking it. The one thought that was always in my mind when I left the UK was that if things didn't work out I could go back.

I do wonder now though whether the longer you are away the worse it is when you go back.

Whether you decide to stay in your chosen country or go home, I hope everyone finds happiness.
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 4:34 am
  #141  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

After 23 yrs of moving people into and out of Australia, i still find it amazing that in 90% of cases the move to return to country of origin, was instigated by the female of the family, are males having trouble, reassuring their families that they have done the right thing,?? i have also been involved in acrimonious, moves were the wife and kids have returned , leaving the husband to finish off his work contract, not good for future relationships i feel...... .........................mm
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 8:49 am
  #142  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by snowbunny
Actually, very few have the opportunity to move countries if only because it usually is expensive and requires jumping many immigration hurdles. I think one is fortunate just to have had a chance. That doesn't mean you should stay even if you are unhappy -- but you are lucky to have been able to find out, rather than to only be able to dream and wonder.
Hi Snowbunny,

Thanks for the reply. You are right in that everyone who gets chances are fortunate, whether it is to travel or not. Everyone knows people who are just plain lucky. But with regards to migration, as with all things in life, there is a saying that 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.

Yes it is hard and can be expensive, but need not be any more expensive than a flight and the admin costs (which are sadly a bit over the top at times I know). It is also a long, arduous stressful process which is not for the faint hearted. But the returning element is just the cost of a flight, and whilst I know there are a lot of people who cannot afford this, I don't think they are truly the people on this forum for example since most of us here, not all, have our own PC or access to one through a reasonable office based job for example - aka not desparately poor. It is also a big risk to leave everything behind of course, and often the grass is no greenier but I agree with you that it is fantastic to experience these things and they are usually very soul searching in the process.

I don't know what it's like where you live, but in England, even those in social housing paid for by the state often have a car, satellite tv and lots can afford to smoke a £4.50 packet of cigarettes a day. I have a couple of friends in this situation. One always has her 2 week holiday to Italy and her designer clothes. So even a lot these people could do it if they really wanted to. Sorry I haven't written that very well, but I think you can see the point I'm trying to make

Most choices in life require sacrifices and hard work for the majority of people, and often it is average people who make the move in search of a better life, so if migration is a dream for you, go for it!
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 2:54 pm
  #143  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Wow, what an interesting thread. i think Merlot has gone thread mad

We left the UK three years ago and went to Sydney. on leaving we had no intension's of returning to the UK at all. we had a good life there, our eldest daughter settled at school and hubby found a good job.
7 months later we were back, for the life of me i cannot put it down to one singular reason just loads of little things put together. i felt soooo guilty that i had taken the kids away from their grandparents, i felt sooooooo sad to be away from friends whom i had known for years and whom i felt were moving on without me, my space in the circle was empty, i felt sooooo lost in a world of unfamiliarity and to top the lot my parents came out at a time when we were at our lowest. no way was i saying goodbye again. loaded our stuff up and came back.
i shall never regret coming back. i wanted to to live in the same area which i had lived in since being married, and wanted the old comfortable feeling of belonging. we had another baby (pleasant surprise i think was the term the midwife used) hubby got his old job back. in short in the space of a year we were slap bang back where we had started. great.
the problem is, the Sydney we had fallen in love with is calling again.
i have realised that my children will have grandparents even if we moved to the most remotest corner of the world (Perth ) my parents will phone, they will come for holidays and as my kids get older they won't want to spend Saturdays in tesco's with nanny (already started with the oldest one).
since we have been back 2 of my dearest friends have gone, one to Spain, one to another part of the UK, another is looking at Spain also. they will continue to be my friends, even though i can't pop round anymore i love them still and they love me.
i will wrap this up (told you there were lots of reasons) no matter where in the world you are, you can be as close to people as you like. we didn't give it long enough, we know that now. our eldest daughter will be going to secondary school soon so she will be leaving her friends anyway, another guilt trip of mine. my middle daughter is self reliant and strong and leans on nobody so she will be fine also.
take the bull by the horns, make the very best of what you have chosen, if it means changing a little then do so. trying to be your old self in a new world and fighting against the changing you rarely works. it does seem to be the more flexible you are the better you settle.

thank god that's finnished, my fingers hurt
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 4:31 pm
  #144  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by louise4
Wow, what an interesting thread. i think Merlot has gone thread mad

We left the UK three years ago and went to Sydney. on leaving we had no intension's of returning to the UK at all. we had a good life there, our eldest daughter settled at school and hubby found a good job.
7 months later we were back, for the life of me i cannot put it down to one singular reason just loads of little things put together. i felt soooo guilty that i had taken the kids away from their grandparents, i felt sooooooo sad to be away from friends whom i had known for years and whom i felt were moving on without me, my space in the circle was empty, i felt sooooo lost in a world of unfamiliarity and to top the lot my parents came out at a time when we were at our lowest. no way was i saying goodbye again. loaded our stuff up and came back.
i shall never regret coming back. i wanted to to live in the same area which i had lived in since being married, and wanted the old comfortable feeling of belonging. we had another baby (pleasant surprise i think was the term the midwife used) hubby got his old job back. in short in the space of a year we were slap bang back where we had started. great.
the problem is, the Sydney we had fallen in love with is calling again.
i have realised that my children will have grandparents even if we moved to the most remotest corner of the world (Perth ) my parents will phone, they will come for holidays and as my kids get older they won't want to spend Saturdays in tesco's with nanny (already started with the oldest one).
since we have been back 2 of my dearest friends have gone, one to Spain, one to another part of the UK, another is looking at Spain also. they will continue to be my friends, even though i can't pop round anymore i love them still and they love me.
i will wrap this up (told you there were lots of reasons) no matter where in the world you are, you can be as close to people as you like. we didn't give it long enough, we know that now. our eldest daughter will be going to secondary school soon so she will be leaving her friends anyway, another guilt trip of mine. my middle daughter is self reliant and strong and leans on nobody so she will be fine also.
take the bull by the horns, make the very best of what you have chosen, if it means changing a little then do so. trying to be your old self in a new world and fighting against the changing you rarely works. it does seem to be the more flexible you are the better you settle.

thank god that's finnished, my fingers hurt
Maybe for you Louise, you had to leave oz to apprecaite it. Some people spend years fighting it out in their chosen country hoping that maybe one day they will feel settled. (Maybe that would still have been you if you hadnt come away) Emigrating changes us and often we dont realise it until we are back around familiar territory, we then say that our homeland has changed but really its us.

I think that many people who emigrate for a better lifestyle could have that better lifestyle wherever they are. The changes need to come from within.
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 5:41 pm
  #145  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by ladylisa
Maybe for you Louise, you had to leave oz to apprecaite it. Some people spend years fighting it out in their chosen country hoping that maybe one day they will feel settled. (Maybe that would still have been you if you hadnt come away) Emigrating changes us and often we dont realise it until we are back around familiar territory, we then say that our homeland has changed but really its us.

I think that many people who emigrate for a better lifestyle could have that better lifestyle wherever they are. The changes need to come from within.
Definately, just like we had to come back to realise we didn't want to be there. had we stayed we would never have been 100% sure it was the right thing. maybe like Merlot we had to come back to truley say goodbye.
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Old Jun 9th 2005, 6:49 pm
  #146  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by louise4
Definately, just like we had to come back to realise we didn't want to be there. had we stayed we would never have been 100% sure it was the right thing. maybe like Merlot we had to come back to truley say goodbye.
Yep, I know that this time around, though still scary I will be more content.

M
 
Old Jun 9th 2005, 11:49 pm
  #147  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by mr mover
After 23 yrs of moving people into and out of Australia, i still find it amazing that in 90% of cases the move to return to country of origin, was instigated by the female of the family, are males having trouble, reassuring their families that they have done the right thing,?? i have also been involved in acrimonious, moves were the wife and kids have returned , leaving the husband to finish off his work contract, not good for future relationships i feel...... .........................mm
l agree, watch those place in the sun, new life downunder programes, its always the wife that wants to go back to the UK while the husband wants to stay in OZ.

Last edited by aussie73; Jun 9th 2005 at 11:53 pm.
 
Old Jun 12th 2005, 2:53 am
  #148  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Back to the poll, the experienced have spoken...

Don't leave.....
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Old Jun 12th 2005, 2:15 pm
  #149  
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Default Re: Any regrets coming back to Blighty?

Originally Posted by evoal2003
Back to the poll, the experienced have spoken...

Don't leave.....
Love your success signature.

M
 

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