Originally Posted by britishbull

Reminds me of when I took a mini-bus from Thai countryside to Bangkok, I got the last seat and was congratulating myself on good timing, the next stop they doubled the passenger load and I had some old dear sitting where my feet and legs were supposed to go for a four hour journey.

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11

Greetings!

As previously mentioned, I thought I would tell you about how I have been living for the past few months. This is just a one-off article and wont be updated but hope it will give you an insight on life living with a real Filipina family.

The house is rented by a sister of a foreigners gf who lives nearby and I am living with the mother, sister and her two kids, brother and a scruffy Maltese type terrier. The house is small with two bedrooms only and a living area (dossing area mainly). The bathroom if I can call it that is very small and consists of a WC and shower. No hot water for the shower. Indeed water pressure ranges from that of a wasps spit to that of a leaky tap. Toilet has no seat...or bum squirter. And has no flush. Like the others I sleep on a mattress on the floor in a small bedroom.

About the people here.... The mother is a very lovely lady and has about 7 kids who come and go. For some reason on my arrival she told all and sundry that I was her bf. I have to admit she is nice but more of a mother figure to me. Just not my type. She is 52. She is a relative of my current gf/lf/fling which made things pretty awkward initially. To complicate matters her daughter keeps asking me for a date and should I say very attentive which is awkward sometimes. The daughter is/was married to a Korean and when I first arrived here was working in Manila but quit that job there and came back here, She is currently looking for another job but making pin money making small mats and selling at 35 peso a time. The brother is a strange fellow. My foreigner friend will not have him in his house and he dosses around here and cannot hold a job, On a sinister side, he was kicked out of my friends house and he left here for a week or so. When I went to have a shower that afternoon, I found a metal wire protruding from my soap. The dog is mangy..flea bitten and feeds on scraps. If he is left indoors all night he deposits on the floor somewhere and its funny seeing people doing a moon dance better than Michael Jackson if they step in it.

There was another sister living here with her squalling ankle snapper. I don't know the reason but she was kicked out by the sister and returned about a week earlier one evening and tried to assault her sister. She was like a woman possessed . It took me, mother and son to restrain her and get her to leave. No idea what that was about....life is a mystery sometimes. She sent me a message next morning in Tagalog basically saying that I had assaulted her and was reporting me to the police. Never heard anymore.

There are comings and goings here. Mainly relatives or friends who doss down for the night....mainly in a drunken stupor. Some are suitors for the sister here who in fact is quite attractive. The arrivals normally bring booze and they all get drunk. I am always invited to join but rarely do. Normally I would have just come back from town having sunk 3 or 4 beers which is my limit. My gf/lf/fling also sometimes visits. My foreigner friend recently kicked out his gf ....or she left him again. And also 2 lady boys who live there. They dossed down here for a few nights doing sweet FA or helping in the house. The only thing they did was scrounge off the mother here and get rat-arsed in the evening. But I think they are gone now.

The house is normally a mess. Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think.

Now saying all that.....the family here are great to me. I refuse to let them do my washing or rarely eat with them. Fish heads in a bucket of rice does not appeal. I have cereal in the morning...sarnies at lunch time then I hit town for something to eat late afternoon. Making my coffee first thing when I wake up can be interesting stepping over bodies that have been dossing for the night. The mother however insists on manicuring my nails and her and her sister want to massage my back. I don't let them. Don't think my gf/lf/fling would approve.

When I first saw this place I thought that I wouldn't last a night here but I agreed to stay a week. But I am used to it all now...even the cold showers. The cold shower has a bit of respite for about 15 seconds when the water inside the pipe outside has been heated and comes through. Oh joy.

I am currently paying 4.5k pm to the sister for the privilege of living here. It was her bedroom that I am living in now. Which is way too much really. I know that the sister is paying 4k pm rent. I would move to another place if I could find a suitable part furnished in town but unable to do so at the moment....none available. But that's not quite true. When I first arrived here and told the crew in my regular ale house that I was looking for somewhere more suitable, I had two prospective land lords appear in a matter of weeks. But then they never returned. I was told candidly by one of the owners of the bar that its because I had put them in a difficult situation. They were also friends/relatives of the family here and if they had found me a place then the family here would feel aggrieved that they had their rent money taken away by them. I was shocked at this at first but I could understand the logic and in being in no rush to move I accepted it. As I have mentioned previously, I might have to decamp back to where I came if litigation appears so I am not going to buy furnishings yet for an unfurnished place. Also, if I had the option to move I most probably would but then would have to think very carefully. My gf/lf/fling would try and move some of her kids in also...by stealth. Also she is about to become a grandmother again in a couple of weeks. As I said previously....she has baggage. I don't want any baggage in my house.

Anyway...that's life here with My Family, There will be no updates etc but this was just to give an insight on living in the Philippines ...el naturale

Regards

Originally Posted by nonthaburi

It sounded perfect with just the six of you. Must be even better now with 9. How's the dog?

Originally Posted by Millhouse

Ok so not a slum - just what you describe is pretty rough conditions and would be classified as slum-like if they were in the UK. 9 in a 2-bed house, dog shiting on the floor, drinking and layabouts and a shower over the shitter. Might be middle class for the pips, but it is not middle class where you or I come from. Anyway, as long as you are happy and not being eaten alive by the bed bugs and ringworm then all is good. I also wouldn't worry too much about C19, there are so many other things that can get you in those conditions.

Personally, it's not how I would spend my remaining days even if you do get to bang the young drunk occasionally. I think you gave been dragged down to their standards by your "wife" - you can do so much better (in terms of accommodation, food and quality of women to bang) even on your meagre pension.

Originally Posted by morpeth

It seems the issue may be of standards, and what is a slum by Filipino standards perhaps how Phil II considering what is a slum, but to the rest of us is a slum-just as other standards he has may be different. as seen by the numerous reactions by others on this thread to his life choices.I would be ashamed if I had a father his age living in such conditions and I did nothing about it, but Phil has stated his family is aware of how he lives.There are plenty of younger Philippine women with a roof over their heads and not 9 people camped out who would be fine with a contribution to expenses and are not bar girls, perhaps next time around Phil choose more carefully but maybe he just is more comfortable with low standards

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016

P11 told us about his situation and why he puts up with it. No need to keep on picking on him for what he does. He considers it adequate for the moment and that is all that matters.

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11

Correct and thank you.

It seems that with the usual suspects what I say goes in one ear and out of the other.

Regards

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016

P11 told us about his situation and why he puts up with it. No need to keep on picking on him for what he does. He considers it adequate for the moment and that is all that matters.

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11

Correct and thank you.

It seems that with the usual suspects what I say goes in one ear and out of the other.

Regards

Originally Posted by Millhouse

You can probably include yourself in that analysis...

I honestly don't care if you live in a slum, middle-class house, rich house, or whore house. The point I'm trying to make you aware of is that this is a pretty low standard of accommodation and you shouldn't accept or normalise it. Don't let the other crabs pull you into the bucket.

Originally Posted by morpeth

Actually that comment applies more to yourself as you have now posted for quite a while and majority of people have pointed out how you got into a situation and stayed in your past and now current situation yet stubbornly you kept on same path. and my post did you credit that few Westerners could be so jolly defending the situation you have put yourself in.

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11

Actually the comment does not apply to me. I have posted here and welcomed comments which also included advice. The advice is sifted and discarded as necessary. Some of the early comments were that I would be back with my ex within 3 months. Were you one of them? Wrong. Some said I should return to the UK. So now if I had taken that advice I would have been hounded out of the Philippines by a demented woman. Were you one of them? Wrong. You think that I should get my family involved because I cannot handle the situation. That shows you how little you know me and jump to conclusions.

Now let me tell you something. I have handled this situation without knee jerk reactions. I have taken cautious, considered actions based on proof. Because I have left communications open with her against the advice of many and probably you, I knew exactly what she was planning and have prepared accordingly. I have made sure that she was funded until she found a job, rehoused and her medication was completed. I did not have to do that. Even though that created financial problems I did what was morally right . I sleep better at night. This will also stand me in good stead if and when this comes to trial.

Finally you harp on where I am living. You should have read previously that there is no furnished accommodation available in this area. I was not going to splash out on say 20k to part furnish an apartment. That money may be required to help hire an attorney. Also, if I get deported or thrown in jail.....what will happen to the furniture. I was fortunate to find this place by a friend of mine. As stated previously, it is not ideal and indeed I gave it a weeks trial. I didnt think I would stay here after one week. But, I am adaptable, and knew it was temporary only. This was further helped by the kindness and affection given to me by the family here. But I had no other choice. I have however stated that when this lockdown has finished I will endeavor to move out given that my case may take up to a year or so if it came to trial because of the backlog created by Covid 19. The novelty has now worn off not helped by the crowded conditions I now face.

So. I am happy with the way I have handled things. I have a very good chance of staying in the Philippines because of the weakness of her case and I am happy that I have done what I think is the morally right thing for my ex.

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11

Correct and thank you.

It seems that with the usual suspects what I say goes in one ear and out of the other.

Regards

Originally Posted by Rete

Definition of advice

1 : recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct : counsel … shall have power, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to make treaties … — U.S. Constitution offering medical advice a word of advice
2 : information or notice given —usually used in plural… the latest advices from Mexico …— Henry David Thoreau
3 : an official notice concerning a business transaction payment advices

Giving advice does not mean that the person receiving it is required to act upon the advice given. If they asked for the advice, they will consider it and use it or discard it as they chose.

Not following the consensus of the majority, isn't here or there. No one is living his life. No one is privvy to his emotions. No one is walking in his shoes. If he prefers to walk on a rocky road rather than the smooth paved one an eighth of a mile away, that is his choice. So be it.

In fact, I don't recall him really asking for advice on his living conditions or his emotional, financial or physical well being.