Me and My Family
Jul 2nd 2018, 1:32 pm
#1606
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Re: Me and My Family
Rete:
You make a very good point. Yes, she has two children, one of which lives in the next village with his father. The other one here with her family. Why she does not want any one of them living with her is a mystery to me. Not something I have discussed with her to be honest. I suspect it suits her way of life to let others take practical care of them although she supports them financially. Now, I have no problem if they lived here with us. They are good well behaved kids, but I have thought of the scenario to which you allude. If her family throws a strop on this rent arrears problem and dumps the son they are taking care of against lovely ladies will, I will stop my monthly allowance of 3k pm for her fathers medicine (with her approval) and I am sure she will stop her 50% contribution to their rent (2.5k pm). I suspect they know that we hold the aces.... However, I doubt if it will come to this.
Regards
You make a very good point. Yes, she has two children, one of which lives in the next village with his father. The other one here with her family. Why she does not want any one of them living with her is a mystery to me. Not something I have discussed with her to be honest. I suspect it suits her way of life to let others take practical care of them although she supports them financially. Now, I have no problem if they lived here with us. They are good well behaved kids, but I have thought of the scenario to which you allude. If her family throws a strop on this rent arrears problem and dumps the son they are taking care of against lovely ladies will, I will stop my monthly allowance of 3k pm for her fathers medicine (with her approval) and I am sure she will stop her 50% contribution to their rent (2.5k pm). I suspect they know that we hold the aces.... However, I doubt if it will come to this.
Regards
Jul 2nd 2018, 2:42 pm
#1607
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Re: Me and My Family
Matey boy will end up stumping emergency funding........he always gives in. New motor cycle, eh! Do yourself a big favour and forget about the wedding, and run like hell. Your L/L as mentioned before is an Oscar performing actress and a compulsive spendthrift ( won’t mention the lies, don’t want to offend).
Jul 2nd 2018, 3:43 pm
#1610
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Re: Me and My Family
I read the entire 108 pages over the past days, and I agree with the guy who said it was time to run a page 2, and the plethora of respondents who told you to quit. Don’t get married, this will go extremely “pear shaped” days or hours after the wedding. Run while you Still can. Lies, lies and more lies, and you excuse it all as if it were nothing. I thought the 2 undeclared children might bring you to your senses? Not so, just more justification and excuses. You have may a bad choice. Fix it by moving on. There are plenty of good fish in the sea.
Jul 3rd 2018, 12:50 am
#1611
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Re: Me and My Family
Rete:
You make a very good point. Yes, she has two children, one of which lives in the next village with his father. The other one here with her family. Why she does not want any one of them living with her is a mystery to me. Not something I have discussed with her to be honest. I suspect it suits her way of life to let others take practical care of them although she supports them financially. Now, I have no problem if they lived here with us. They are good well behaved kids, but I have thought of the scenario to which you allude. If her family throws a strop on this rent arrears problem and dumps the son they are taking care of against lovely ladies will, I will stop my monthly allowance of 3k pm for her fathers medicine (with her approval) and I am sure she will stop her 50% contribution to their rent (2.5k pm). I suspect they know that we hold the aces.... However, I doubt if it will come to this.
Regards
You make a very good point. Yes, she has two children, one of which lives in the next village with his father. The other one here with her family. Why she does not want any one of them living with her is a mystery to me. Not something I have discussed with her to be honest. I suspect it suits her way of life to let others take practical care of them although she supports them financially. Now, I have no problem if they lived here with us. They are good well behaved kids, but I have thought of the scenario to which you allude. If her family throws a strop on this rent arrears problem and dumps the son they are taking care of against lovely ladies will, I will stop my monthly allowance of 3k pm for her fathers medicine (with her approval) and I am sure she will stop her 50% contribution to their rent (2.5k pm). I suspect they know that we hold the aces.... However, I doubt if it will come to this.
Regards
You wonder if LL is happy to keep the boarding arrangement going with her family precisely because it is something that will continue to be an argument to use for emergency funding from the OP whenever the family get into difficulties?
Whatever the reason I think the OP should elevate this issue from one which is not discussed to one which is a major one for them going forward. "LL, I've been thinking..."
With the one child out of the family house then the OP can stop the P3,000 monthly medical help and LL review reducing her rental subsidy. The OPs help to the family would then only be on a case by case basis.
I think that before the OP loses one of his aces by marrying he should deal with this issue. As the children get older the OP will be increasingly asked for help with funding them, given both are boarded in two obviously financially struggling households. Then, better they are in his household where he would have more control.
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jul 3rd 2018 at 12:59 am. Reason: Fixed cocked up quote
Jul 3rd 2018, 2:55 am
#1612
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 105
Re: Me and My Family
"others take practical care of them although she supports them financially."
This is of course how so many families with OFWs survive. It' probably just a hangover from those days.
as for the other subjects P11 must realise that being such a decent person that he is,that once he is married in. He will loose all his aces.
sadly I think a leapod never changes her spots.
This is of course how so many families with OFWs survive. It' probably just a hangover from those days.
as for the other subjects P11 must realise that being such a decent person that he is,that once he is married in. He will loose all his aces.
sadly I think a leapod never changes her spots.
Jul 3rd 2018, 3:46 am
#1614
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Re: Me and My Family
Greetings!
Thanks for the comments so far.
To clarify: It is fair to say that I am mystified why she does not want her two sons to live with us. She has said that she wanted to settle down and have a family with me....this was when we first lived together. But of course she already has two sons and I have already told her I would be happy to take them on. Many foreigners do of course. But if I am honest with myself, I suspect it may be that it will cramp her socialite life style if they stay here. A selfish attitude if that is the case. Interestingly, her youngest son has now been transferred from her family's house and living with Waddly and her BF. No idea why. The eldest son lives with father in the next village.....and apart from weekend visits, prefers to remain there.
I asked about the rent arrears this morning and she will go to the owner and have a talk with him. He has had other people who wish to rent the house....so the pressure is on. But not on me. I flatly refuse to help them again except obviously in medical emergencies. As someone commented...the English ATM is closed. .... for good.
Not sure how getting married means the loss of aces. If it went pear shaped, I would leave her. She will have the loss of face...not me.
Regards
Thanks for the comments so far.
To clarify: It is fair to say that I am mystified why she does not want her two sons to live with us. She has said that she wanted to settle down and have a family with me....this was when we first lived together. But of course she already has two sons and I have already told her I would be happy to take them on. Many foreigners do of course. But if I am honest with myself, I suspect it may be that it will cramp her socialite life style if they stay here. A selfish attitude if that is the case. Interestingly, her youngest son has now been transferred from her family's house and living with Waddly and her BF. No idea why. The eldest son lives with father in the next village.....and apart from weekend visits, prefers to remain there.
I asked about the rent arrears this morning and she will go to the owner and have a talk with him. He has had other people who wish to rent the house....so the pressure is on. But not on me. I flatly refuse to help them again except obviously in medical emergencies. As someone commented...the English ATM is closed. .... for good.
Not sure how getting married means the loss of aces. If it went pear shaped, I would leave her. She will have the loss of face...not me.
Regards
Jul 3rd 2018, 3:55 am
#1615
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Re: Me and My Family
Socialite status? Sounds like a champagne lifestyle on (your) lemonade budget.
Pity she values herself so highly over her kids though. Although in hindsight that might be doing them a favour.
Pity she values herself so highly over her kids though. Although in hindsight that might be doing them a favour.
Jul 3rd 2018, 4:01 am
#1616
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Re: Me and My Family
“Not sure how getting married means the loss of aces. If it went pear shaped, I would leave her. She will have the loss of face...not me.”
Well go ahead, get married! The ensuing drama will generate more interesting reading than the pawnbroker, Waddly, and the rest of the family combined! The sad part is many people advising you in here know exactly where this going, and i agree, 100% it won’t work out well for you. Your situation is in no way unique, there were plenty before you, and many many more will follow.
You have had the benefit of much advice, and heeded none of it. If the marriage fails, she won’t walk away. If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine. Brit guy up here is looking at 12 years for supposedly hitting his Wife. Everything was perfect until his money ran out and he couldn’t complete the expensive dream house. He should have run, but chose to stay and fight it. Same scenario, he will lose everything.
i showed a few posts to my wife. She was shaking here head and said “he needs to run as fast as he can, that’s just so not right”
There are none so blind as he who will not see.
Well go ahead, get married! The ensuing drama will generate more interesting reading than the pawnbroker, Waddly, and the rest of the family combined! The sad part is many people advising you in here know exactly where this going, and i agree, 100% it won’t work out well for you. Your situation is in no way unique, there were plenty before you, and many many more will follow.
You have had the benefit of much advice, and heeded none of it. If the marriage fails, she won’t walk away. If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine. Brit guy up here is looking at 12 years for supposedly hitting his Wife. Everything was perfect until his money ran out and he couldn’t complete the expensive dream house. He should have run, but chose to stay and fight it. Same scenario, he will lose everything.
i showed a few posts to my wife. She was shaking here head and said “he needs to run as fast as he can, that’s just so not right”
There are none so blind as he who will not see.
Jul 3rd 2018, 4:20 am
#1617
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
“Not sure how getting married means the loss of aces. If it went pear shaped, I would leave her. She will have the loss of face...not me.”
Well go ahead, get married! The ensuing drama will generate more interesting reading than the pawnbroker, Waddly, and the rest of the family combined! The sad part is many people advising you in here know exactly where this going, and i agree, 100% it won’t work out well for you. Your situation is in no way unique, there were plenty before you, and many many more will follow.
You have had the benefit of much advice, and heeded none of it. If the marriage fails, she won’t walk away. If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine. Brit guy up here is looking at 12 years for supposedly hitting his Wife. Everything was perfect until his money ran out and he couldn’t complete the expensive dream house. He should have run, but chose to stay and fight it. Same scenario, he will lose everything.
i showed a few posts to my wife. She was shaking here head and said “he needs to run as fast as he can, that’s just so not right”
There are none so blind as he who will not see.
Well go ahead, get married! The ensuing drama will generate more interesting reading than the pawnbroker, Waddly, and the rest of the family combined! The sad part is many people advising you in here know exactly where this going, and i agree, 100% it won’t work out well for you. Your situation is in no way unique, there were plenty before you, and many many more will follow.
You have had the benefit of much advice, and heeded none of it. If the marriage fails, she won’t walk away. If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine. Brit guy up here is looking at 12 years for supposedly hitting his Wife. Everything was perfect until his money ran out and he couldn’t complete the expensive dream house. He should have run, but chose to stay and fight it. Same scenario, he will lose everything.
i showed a few posts to my wife. She was shaking here head and said “he needs to run as fast as he can, that’s just so not right”
There are none so blind as he who will not see.
A dose of reality can be a wake up call, in the case of P11 an atomic bomb might be more appropriate.
Jul 3rd 2018, 4:31 am
#1618
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Re: Me and My Family
Careful about just leaving, if she has any idea she could try and get a restraining order blocking you from leaving the country for having outstanding responsibilities, normally this is in the form of outstanding loans or similar but it would not surprise me if also covered what she thought you owed her.
Last edited by Stokkevn; Jul 3rd 2018 at 4:33 am.
Jul 3rd 2018, 4:34 am
#1619
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Re: Me and My Family
David,
** If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine*** This remains true whether married or not. The worst threat she has made was to get me deported a year or so ago......for allegedly talking behind her back. Also, I have threatened to leave her a few times over various issues with the result she has mended her ways and actually apologized. A rarity indeed ....an apology that is.
I neglected to mention that she was asked by her father to talk to the landlord.....so it wasn't on her own volition. She has no idea what good that will do. However I note with interest that Waddly's place here is now empty. Big enough for a mother and father..... ..
On a personal note....anyone have any idea whats happened to Quiltman? Not seen him about recently on any of the threads if I am correct. Admin?
Just seen Stokkevn's comments. This thread consisting of 108 pages would refute any allegations made by her.
Regards
** If you left and she loses face, a simple police report and you are in more strife than you ever possibly imagine*** This remains true whether married or not. The worst threat she has made was to get me deported a year or so ago......for allegedly talking behind her back. Also, I have threatened to leave her a few times over various issues with the result she has mended her ways and actually apologized. A rarity indeed ....an apology that is.
I neglected to mention that she was asked by her father to talk to the landlord.....so it wasn't on her own volition. She has no idea what good that will do. However I note with interest that Waddly's place here is now empty. Big enough for a mother and father..... ..
On a personal note....anyone have any idea whats happened to Quiltman? Not seen him about recently on any of the threads if I am correct. Admin?
Just seen Stokkevn's comments. This thread consisting of 108 pages would refute any allegations made by her.
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Jul 3rd 2018 at 4:42 am. Reason: Extra sentence
Jul 3rd 2018, 4:54 am
#1620
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Re: Me and My Family
I am sure this thread would but it could be painful years between being blocked from traveling, being allowed to use this thread as evidence, translating into Tagalog etc. Being a bit sneaky if I was going to do a runner I would make sure it coincided with a visa run.