Me and My Family

Old Jun 25th 2018, 12:57 pm
  #1591  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

A prenup (premarital agreement) is a marriage contract. Its purpose is to settle financial matters in advance in the event of either a divorce or death.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 1:10 pm
  #1592  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

To clarify...

Yes, she wants a big wedding and I doubt if a cheapie before a judge would do. Shes told everyone where the venue is and I guess its losing face big time. An Asian cultural weakness...

Pre-nup. As far as I am aware, I believe its a few pictures prior to the wedding at a picturesque venue of the loving couple. The fee is 15k in our case which includes the wedding photos. The venue of the pre-nup is extra. Although the resort owner has kindly offered his mansion overlooking the sea for nothing.

Loans.. Completely agree. But when you are faced with the situation I was, it is very difficult to say no. Each day laying in the hospital morgue awaiting the death certificate to be signed was adding to the debt. I guess I could have walked away and let the US Embassy or relatives in the US deal with the situation. But with a very distraught Filipina who is a very good friend, adding to the distressing circumstances.....it was a hard call to make.

Whilst taking a break typing this, lovely lady has suggested that we have a quickie. Wedding that is. But its all in the melting pot at the moment and a few considerations have to be made. Honeymoon with the quickie....or beach wedding at a resort with no honeymoon. Decisions.

I have approached my deceased friend's family in the US for sympathetic help in the repayment of the debt that I have had to cover. That was met with animosity. They said that she has received thousands of USD with the promise of the ashes being returned to the US. She gives a different story. Her plan now is to work in Aussie land for a few months to pay off the debts. She reckons she can repay me in two months. We shall see.

One of the family pitched up at the gate today and lovely lady gave him 700 peso. Its started again......

Regards
Look at the bright side, any doubts regarding if you are getting the money back or not have been cleared.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 1:12 pm
  #1593  
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Are all relationships with Filipinas dependent on these financial "arrangements"?
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 1:46 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

You may remember that an American friend died last year and the hospital was refusing to release the body until the death certificate was signed. It would not be signed because of outstanding medical bills which amounted to about 240k. His long term Filipina gf raised about half that from donations from friends but was unable to raise the balance to release him and then commence funeral arrangements. I stepped in and paid the balance with a credit card. She told me she would pay me back out of a time deposit that he had set up a number of years ago. That was due to be unlocked a few days ago. It was.....and empty.

According to her, the bank said that he withdrew the money 3 yrs ago when he returned to the USA . She now assumes the money would have been used for ongoing cancer treatment whilst in the US. The loan plus interest incurred over the 9 months amounted to 140k and I was going to use that for our wedding. That now seems impossible. Maybe a blessing in disguise I can hear you say....

The cost of the resort to be hired was 100k which includes everything for the day. Explaining this to my lovely lady has greatly disappointed her obviously. She says we can cut back on things such as a "pre-nup" which would be 20k. What? 20k for a few pictures!? Anyway, I am now going to try and recover the money from his family and relations. I doubt if that would be successful because she and them are not on good terms. Long story. Failing that, I will have to discuss what the alternatives are with my lovely lady. A "quickie" at the Mayors Office or delay the wedding. Or a compromise on the beach wedding. The resort will accept a credit card for the hire, but that still leaves me a bit short. So....I will try and contact his family and see if they respond to my pleas.

Regards
According to her.....LOL

that seems very relevant in light of what the family said about the thousands for the ashes that never arrived. Am I the only one that smells a rat here. There's three lots of money.

1) The supposed money in the bank.
2) The supposed money sent for the ashes.
3) The money you gave her.

Don't think you'll be seeing your cash again somehow. Lesson learned.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 1:49 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

To clarify...

Yes, she wants a big wedding and I doubt if a cheapie before a judge would do. Shes told everyone where the venue is and I guess its losing face big time. An Asian cultural weakness...

Pre-nup. As far as I am aware, I believe its a few pictures prior to the wedding at a picturesque venue of the loving couple. The fee is 15k in our case which includes the wedding photos. The venue of the pre-nup is extra. Although the resort owner has kindly offered his mansion overlooking the sea for nothing.

Loans.. Completely agree. But when you are faced with the situation I was, it is very difficult to say no. Each day laying in the hospital morgue awaiting the death certificate to be signed was adding to the debt. I guess I could have walked away and let the US Embassy or relatives in the US deal with the situation. But with a very distraught Filipina who is a very good friend, adding to the distressing circumstances.....it was a hard call to make.

Whilst taking a break typing this, lovely lady has suggested that we have a quickie. Wedding that is. But its all in the melting pot at the moment and a few considerations have to be made. Honeymoon with the quickie....or beach wedding at a resort with no honeymoon. Decisions.

I have approached my deceased friend's family in the US for sympathetic help in the repayment of the debt that I have had to cover. That was met with animosity. They said that she has received thousands of USD with the promise of the ashes being returned to the US. She gives a different story. Her plan now is to work in Aussie land for a few months to pay off the debts. She reckons she can repay me in two months. We shall see.

One of the family pitched up at the gate today and lovely lady gave him 700 peso. Its started again......

Regards
Which is exactly what you should have done. It wasn't anything to do with you. Stuff like that is exactly what embassies are supposed to sort out. Coordinate with local authorities and family overseas.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 3:27 pm
  #1596  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Expatrick View Post
Are all relationships with Filipinas dependent on these financial "arrangements"?
Seems many foreigners set themselves up that way. I had some rough times in my life when I was younger, and ultimately took early retirement so as not to lose myself. Now I only work part time. I have very little money for a Western Man. When I met my wife, I told her as much. Also said I want to start a family, and am not paying for hers. I think I only sent them about a 100 quid in 10 years. We eat rice and fish daily. Have loads of kids. And could not be happier. Not sure why foreign men like getting set up for strange financial situations. I see on forums like this a lot "When you marry a Pinay, you marry the family. Expect to pay!" lol no.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 8:14 pm
  #1597  
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Originally Posted by Expatrick View Post
Are all relationships with Filipinas dependent on these financial "arrangements"?
Looks that way.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 11:11 pm
  #1598  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

No not all relationships with Filipinas depend on spurious financial arrangements. My experience is that victims are naive, having their first foreign experience, or desperate not to lose an attractive younger partner.
A partner or family pleading for funds from vulnerable foreigners is endemic in the developing world. If you feel you are a victim you only you have yourself to blame,
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Old Jun 26th 2018, 1:01 am
  #1599  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Bealinehx View Post
No not all relationships with Filipinas depend on spurious financial arrangements. My experience is that victims are naive, having their first foreign experience, or desperate not to lose an attractive younger partner.
A partner or family pleading for funds from vulnerable foreigners is endemic in the developing world. If you feel you are a victim you only you have yourself to blame,

So true.
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Old Jun 26th 2018, 2:53 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Greetings!

To clarify. Pre-nups

A Pre-nup is a contract between the two people getting married. It has nothing to do with the family of those involved. Para 7 of the link refers: https://www.iafl.com/cms_media/files...hilippines.pdf

However.....Pre nup or prenuptial means before wedding. You can have a prenuptial agreement, prenuptial photo shoot. Prenuptial pregnancy. Etc etc. It literally means. ‘Existing or occurring before marriage’

In the case of most weddings here, it is a prenuptial photo shoot. Which as I have said.....very expensive at 15k

Regards
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Old Jun 26th 2018, 4:36 am
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There's a saying , "A fool and his money are soon parted".
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Old Jun 26th 2018, 5:02 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
There's a saying , "A fool and his money are soon parted".
bit harsh to call our champ a fool. From what I can see he has invested his money in 2 of the 3 major asset classes: beer and women - the rest he has wasted.

should get a car really to complete the trio.
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Old Jul 2nd 2018, 1:28 pm
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Greetings!

Just got in to hear my lovely lady having a blazing row with her father on the phone. Apparently they are 2 months behind with the rent (10k) and of course they have come to her....again. She has said no (good girl) and there is a stand-off. My 3k emergency fund has been spent on food apparently. I do despair. One of her brothers who now has just got a new job and moved in with them is earning an extra 4k pm. Waddly has now moved completely out and renting at 800 peso pm. She was rent free here before. We are now saving hard for our wedding in September and I have set a strict budget. Maybe they have seen that she has just bought a new moped which was 3k deposit and unknown monthly payments and we are planning a beach wedding at a local resort and thought we were in the money. The opposite is true of course having just lost 140k to what appears to be a bad debt. But my mind does boggle why my lovely lady would want to burden herself financially with a moped that she doesn't really require....

One thing is for certain....matey boy here isn't going to bail them out. I gave them a chance.....and they blew it.

Ho Hum....
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Old Jul 2nd 2018, 1:31 pm
  #1604  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

Just got in to hear my lovely lady having a blazing row with her father on the phone. Apparently they are 2 months behind with the rent (10k) and of course they have come to her....again. She has said no (good girl) and there is a stand-off. My 3k emergency fund has been spent on food apparently. I do despair. One of her brothers who now has just got a new job and moved in with them is earning an extra 4k pm. Waddly has now moved completely out and renting at 800 peso pm. She was rent free here before. We are now saving hard for our wedding in September and I have set a strict budget. Maybe they have seen that she has just bought a new moped which was 3k deposit and unknown monthly payments and we are planning a beach wedding at a local resort and thought we were in the money. The opposite is true of course having just lost 140k to what appears to be a bad debt. But my mind does boggle why my lovely lady would want to burden herself financially with a moped that she doesn't really require....

One thing is for certain....matey boy here isn't going to bail them out. I gave them a chance.....and they blew it.

Ho Hum....
Good for you.

The English ATM is well and truly closed.
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Old Jul 2nd 2018, 1:46 pm
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No offense intended, but I will believe it when it is all over and done. Your significant other is the mother of the children that live in that household and while she is going to appear to put up a good front by fighting with dad, she will give in and help out if only to keep the roof over her kids head.
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