I've just told my parents
Apr 23rd 2007, 2:36 pm
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Limbo Land
Posts: 136
Re: I've just told my parents
We've had mixed rections from the parents. My Mum and Step Dad thought it was brilliant. They admitted that they will miss us, BUT, it is our life and we have to do what is right for us. Plus they get to come out for holidays 
My Dad lives in Oz and hasn't replied to my email yet. My FIL hasn't really said anything, but then again this is the man who refused to come to his grandsons christening as his ex wife would be there. My MIL has said that she isn't happy about it but if we want to go then she will support us.
Out of everyone though, it is my Mum who will miss us the most as my sister already lives in OZ with her two children and has done for the last 25 years and yet my Mum is the one who is supporting us 100%. Oh god I've tears in my eyes typing this. Emotional suck that I am. Better stop before I flood the keyboard.
My Dad lives in Oz and hasn't replied to my email yet. My FIL hasn't really said anything, but then again this is the man who refused to come to his grandsons christening as his ex wife would be there. My MIL has said that she isn't happy about it but if we want to go then she will support us. Out of everyone though, it is my Mum who will miss us the most as my sister already lives in OZ with her two children and has done for the last 25 years and yet my Mum is the one who is supporting us 100%. Oh god I've tears in my eyes typing this. Emotional suck that I am. Better stop before I flood the keyboard.
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:00 pm
#17
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,094
Re: I've just told my parents
Hi All,
I have just decided to bite the bullet and tell my parents about us moving to NZ.
I new it would be hard and I am sure most have had to do the same.
My dad as always, was very supportive and basically said if you are happy with your decision then I am happy, but my mum, well thats a different story.
I get on ok with my mum but its like she knows what to say to make you feel bad and wont even entertain finding a solution for the problem. I get comments like 'well we will never be able to visit' , 'we don't have that kind of money for a trip', 'its too far for us' , 'well thats it, we probably wont see you again', I'm sure you catch my drift. She doesn't like change and is very sentimental and family orientated.
It was a hard thing for me to do as I have her only 2 grandchildren and my mum dotes on them and my eldest will probably be distraught when she twigs on that she wont be seeing her grandparents every week anymore and for me without a doubt this will be the hardest moment consoling my 6 yr old when I tell her.
I don't really know what my point is with this post, just needed to get rid of some of the guilt I now feel.
thanks for reading this anyway
I have just decided to bite the bullet and tell my parents about us moving to NZ.
I new it would be hard and I am sure most have had to do the same.
My dad as always, was very supportive and basically said if you are happy with your decision then I am happy, but my mum, well thats a different story.
I get on ok with my mum but its like she knows what to say to make you feel bad and wont even entertain finding a solution for the problem. I get comments like 'well we will never be able to visit' , 'we don't have that kind of money for a trip', 'its too far for us' , 'well thats it, we probably wont see you again', I'm sure you catch my drift. She doesn't like change and is very sentimental and family orientated.
It was a hard thing for me to do as I have her only 2 grandchildren and my mum dotes on them and my eldest will probably be distraught when she twigs on that she wont be seeing her grandparents every week anymore and for me without a doubt this will be the hardest moment consoling my 6 yr old when I tell her.
I don't really know what my point is with this post, just needed to get rid of some of the guilt I now feel.
thanks for reading this anyway
Im going through the exact same thing at the moment. We see my folks most days and I am not sure how the kids and my parents are going to come to terms with this loss.
Its almost like a death in a weird kind of way. I know we will have the MSN, Skype viseo chats and the once a year extended visits.
But will this be enough?
What about the hugs and kisses etc?
Anyway have some karma and keep the faith as hard as it is
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:01 pm
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 592
Re: I've just told my parents
Hi Leighlou
I think its good to offload and its obviously easier to do so on a site like this where we don't know each other and people don't have any biases!!
Bet there is a lot of teeth grinding going on with every comment made by MIL!
I think its good to offload and its obviously easier to do so on a site like this where we don't know each other and people don't have any biases!!
Bet there is a lot of teeth grinding going on with every comment made by MIL!
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:05 pm
#20
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 592
Re: I've just told my parents
We've had mixed rections from the parents. My Mum and Step Dad thought it was brilliant. They admitted that they will miss us, BUT, it is our life and we have to do what is right for us. Plus they get to come out for holidays My Dad lives in Oz and hasn't replied to my email yet. My FIL hasn't really said anything, but then again this is the man who refused to come to his grandsons christening as his ex wife would be there. My MIL has said that she isn't happy about it but if we want to go then she will support us.
Out of everyone though, it is my Mum who will miss us the most as my sister already lives in OZ with her two children and has done for the last 25 years and yet my Mum is the one who is supporting us 100%. Oh god I've tears in my eyes typing this. Emotional suck that I am. Better stop before I flood the keyboard.
My Dad lives in Oz and hasn't replied to my email yet. My FIL hasn't really said anything, but then again this is the man who refused to come to his grandsons christening as his ex wife would be there. My MIL has said that she isn't happy about it but if we want to go then she will support us. Out of everyone though, it is my Mum who will miss us the most as my sister already lives in OZ with her two children and has done for the last 25 years and yet my Mum is the one who is supporting us 100%. Oh god I've tears in my eyes typing this. Emotional suck that I am. Better stop before I flood the keyboard.
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:16 pm
#21
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 273
Re: I've just told my parents
I feel for you girl
Im going through the exact same thing at the moment. We see my folks most days and I am not sure how the kids and my parents are going to come to terms with this loss.
Its almost like a death in a weird kind of way. I know we will have the MSN, Skype viseo chats and the once a year extended visits.
But will this be enough?
What about the hugs and kisses etc?
Anyway have some karma and keep the faith as hard as it is
Im going through the exact same thing at the moment. We see my folks most days and I am not sure how the kids and my parents are going to come to terms with this loss.
Its almost like a death in a weird kind of way. I know we will have the MSN, Skype viseo chats and the once a year extended visits.
But will this be enough?
What about the hugs and kisses etc?
Anyway have some karma and keep the faith as hard as it is
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:24 pm
#22
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,094
Re: I've just told my parents
It is strange but true, it does feel sort of like as loss. I felt awful this morning when I did the deed and as I drove away looking at my mum waving goodbye in the mirror, I was over run with every horrible feeling possible. How do parents manage to do this!
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
Everyone deals with loss differently, how long and how they get over it is different for everyone.
There is no easy quick cure for this. If there is please someone let me know from where.
Anyway chin up and think of the reason why you are putting yourself through all of this
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:29 pm
#23
If u see Sid, tell 'im...
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Ex of Hucknall and Mansfield, Notts and now in Manly, Whangaparaoa, just North of Auckland!
Posts: 973
Re: I've just told my parents
It is strange but true, it does feel sort of like as loss. I felt awful this morning when I did the deed and as I drove away looking at my mum waving goodbye in the mirror, I was over run with every horrible feeling possible. How do parents manage to do this!
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
Your mum will come round to the idea, especially if your Dad is OK with it.
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:34 pm
#24
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 592
Re: I've just told my parents
It is strange but true, it does feel sort of like as loss. I felt awful this morning when I did the deed and as I drove away looking at my mum waving goodbye in the mirror, I was over run with every horrible feeling possible. How do parents manage to do this!
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
My MIL has been wonderful and my Dad too, its just sad my mum cant share the same enthusiasm
Apr 23rd 2007, 3:45 pm
#25
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 273
Re: I've just told my parents
Thank you all for your comments, I do feel a bit better than this morning and I guess the hardest part was actually coming out with it and telling her. My hubby was at work and I felt a lot better typing my woes here so a big karma to you all.
So whats done is done, onwards and upwards, to the future and all that, apart from having to tell my extremely sensitive 6yr old now.....maybe leave that til another day. My brain is tired.
Apr 23rd 2007, 6:19 pm
#29
Banned
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Directly above the centre of the earth...
Posts: 106
Re: I've just told my parents
Thats a bloody shame, you would have thought they would have been pleaded to see you. Theres nowt stranger than folk!!!!
we were lucky, altho sadness, we had, and have, full support.
Apr 23rd 2007, 7:27 pm
#30
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Hobsonville
Posts: 158
Re: I've just told my parents
Hi, i to am going through this with my parents, told them last year that we were thinkg of moving to NZ, I had comments like "we will believe it when we see it" etc. We are going out on the 15th October, taking their 2 youngest grand daughters. My dad took a while to come round to it, my mum who i tolerate 99% of the time wont talk about it. yes I did feel guilty at first but we are our own family now and we want a better future and life for the girls. Life is too short you should fit in as much as you can, this aint no rehersal. Parents have a way of making you feel gulity. You have to think of yourselfs and hope that they come around eventually. We have friends in NZ and we talk on Skype and webcam which is great.