Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > New Zealand
Reload this Page >

How many of you have 'visitors'???

How many of you have 'visitors'???

Old Jan 7th 2012, 11:23 am
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
irish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of light
Default How many of you have 'visitors'???

Havnt been on here for such a long time but I seem to be setting a pattern of getting on every January. It seems christmas still seems to be a very unsettling time for me no matter how many I have spent away from home.

I think the fact that I had a baby last year and nobody came over to see my beautiful baby got me on a bad vibe and reminded me just how far away I am from loved ones. Dont get me wrong, life is ok here and i've lasted well over 3 years. Talk of others having their family visit makes you think about your own family I guess. Its now been almost 2 years since I've seen my mother in real life. I know thats what happens when you move to the other side of the world. Am I alone in thinking that this is the reality of our new life or am I just being hormonal and silly???? It hardly feels like a new life when you have to put your old life to the side and put up with skype.

Its really hard tho when your new life has given you a wonderful baby and you dont get to share it with your old life.
irish_eyes is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 6:12 pm
  #2  
Banned
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
tweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud of
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

It sounds like you need to tell your family to visit you. It is a long time not to see one's mother and one can feel cut off and isolated which leads to negative feelings.
Everyone needs moral support! I know how you feel.
Tell them to come over and see your baby now!

Last edited by tweetweet; Jan 7th 2012 at 6:14 pm.
tweetweet is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 6:38 pm
  #3  
By name and by nature
 
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,852
Batty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond reputeBatty has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by tweetweet View Post
It sounds like you need to tell your family to visit you. It is a long time not to see one's mother and one can feel cut off and isolated which leads to negative feelings.
Everyone needs moral support! I know how you feel.
Tell them to come over and see your baby now!
Em, that's not so easy when Ireland is in the grip of a huge recession.

Hi Irish Eyes. I was home in June last year - my son got married in Sicily so it was wonderful. Very hard to say goodbye to my mum - gets harder every time I think. We don't even do Skype - I sometimes catch one of my sisters but most of them are on rural broadband and the quality is crap. When I got back I realised that this is my life now - I'm the sister who lives on the other side of the world and visitors (we've only ever had one lot and that was my husband's best man - gas isn't it - he's not even Irish and he gets the visitors!) will be few and far between, at least until the mess that the country is in gets cleared up. At this stage I'm looking at the next generation and they're only children.

I still don't know many Irish people over here and when I hear the accent I want to jump on them - bit scary for them at times I wouldn't stress too much about it for now - there's nothing at home apart from your family - things are going to get a lot worse by the sound of it before they get better so in a sense there's no decision to make. I'm not sure if it was you but will your mum not fly? COULD she come over? If it's a money thing could ye pay a fare for someone to come?

Anyway, I hope it gets better for you.
Batty is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 7:17 pm
  #4  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9
TandM is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by irish_eyes View Post
Havnt been on here for such a long time but I seem to be setting a pattern of getting on every January. It seems christmas still seems to be a very unsettling time for me no matter how many I have spent away from home.

I think the fact that I had a baby last year and nobody came over to see my beautiful baby got me on a bad vibe and reminded me just how far away I am from loved ones. Dont get me wrong, life is ok here and i've lasted well over 3 years. Talk of others having their family visit makes you think about your own family I guess. Its now been almost 2 years since I've seen my mother in real life. I know thats what happens when you move to the other side of the world. Am I alone in thinking that this is the reality of our new life or am I just being hormonal and silly???? It hardly feels like a new life when you have to put your old life to the side and put up with skype.

Its really hard tho when your new life has given you a wonderful baby and you dont get to share it with your old life.
I didn't have family living anywhere near when my children were born and were young, we lived in the US, family were all in the UK. It was very difficult, but we became very close to our elderly neighbours and they were like grandparents to my children. We spent Christmas with them, it saved my sanity, as it could have been very lonely. However, as I was the one who moved countries, albeit not to somewhere that costs as much in time and money to get to as NZ, I knew people had other places they wanted to go to for holidays and spend their money on. It costs so much to visit somewhere as far away as New Zealand, and it would not be worth visiting for less than two weeks (most people's summer holiday allocation). So many more people in the UK are watching their budget and being careful how they spend their money, so don't take it too personally.
TandM is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 7:44 pm
  #5  
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
love30stm is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

ive been here 5 years in July and not one relative have come to visit, they all said they would come and visit but wont pay out the money i guess.

you certianly see who your close family are when emigrating, but im over it now my family is here husband and my two girls and some very good friends who make up for it.
love30stm is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 8:05 pm
  #6  
BE Forum Addict
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,282
Genesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

We have had my mum, Kate's dad, her sister my sister and a cousin in 7 years. No mates and none of my other 3 siblings have come thus far, to be honest I don't expect it really. Our choice to move to such a far flung outpost, really I am quite surprised that we have had the above come..some of them 3 times!!!!!!
Genesis is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 8:59 pm
  #7  
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
love30stm is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Genesis View Post
We have had my mum, Kate's dad, her sister my sister and a cousin in 7 years. No mates and none of my other 3 siblings have come thus far, to be honest I don't expect it really. Our choice to move to such a far flung outpost, really I am quite surprised that we have had the above come..some of them 3 times!!!!!!
Yeah I guess your right with our choice living so far away, but if it was me still living in the uk I would jump at the chance to go on holiday and stay with family somewhere I've never been and don't have to pay out for accommodation?

but they expect us to go back and visit them!
love30stm is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:07 pm
  #8  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,104
Justcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond reputeJustcol has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Been here 3 1/2 years and not had a single visitor although both parents have health issues that would cause issues when travelling.
I have one very old friend who is currently making plans and saving hard to come over and visit but if he doesn't make I wont be losing sleep.
Justcol is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:20 pm
  #9  
Forum Regular
 
Trish M's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: North Shore
Posts: 159
Trish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really niceTrish M is just really nice
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

My parents, daughter, family friends and I all piled over to see my brother in March 2008. I came back again Christmas 2008 then my parents were back again for 2 months from November 2009.
My brother and family came back to UK for a visit in May/June 2010 and quite a few so-called friends didn't bother to see him at all, even though we'd hired a place out to have a bit of a reunion.
We're always on at my sister to go out to see him as she hasn't been over yet. There's always an excuse though.
Trish M is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:26 pm
  #10  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
irish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Batty View Post
Em, that's not so easy when Ireland is in the grip of a huge recession.

Hi Irish Eyes. I was home in June last year - my son got married in Sicily so it was wonderful. Very hard to say goodbye to my mum - gets harder every time I think. We don't even do Skype - I sometimes catch one of my sisters but most of them are on rural broadband and the quality is crap. When I got back I realised that this is my life now - I'm the sister who lives on the other side of the world and visitors (we've only ever had one lot and that was my husband's best man - gas isn't it - he's not even Irish and he gets the visitors!) will be few and far between, at least until the mess that the country is in gets cleared up. At this stage I'm looking at the next generation and they're only children.

I still don't know many Irish people over here and when I hear the accent I want to jump on them - bit scary for them at times I wouldn't stress too much about it for now - there's nothing at home apart from your family - things are going to get a lot worse by the sound of it before they get better so in a sense there's no decision to make. I'm not sure if it was you but will your mum not fly? COULD she come over? If it's a money thing could ye pay a fare for someone to come?

Anyway, I hope it gets better for you.
Hi batty, nice to hear from you. I guess its not all bad its just at certain times of the year I feel the distance. With the way Ireland is now, people are holding on to whatever spare cash they have. I understand that. We are heading back for a holiday in June so thats something to look forward to but I am already dreading the moment when I have to get back on the plane and return here. Stupid I know but its just how I feel. We are seriously considering a move to Canada as I just dont feel like nz is where I want to spend the rest of my life. The location in terms of the rest of the world is jsut the pits sometimes.

I also almost jump on any irish people when i hear them. I have made a few friends with some Irish people and it really is great to have the craic with them like only Irish people know how. Tho in saying that I have some very funny kiwi friends too. Hope your well and thank you everyone for your advise and kind words.
irish_eyes is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:33 pm
  #11  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: Auckland
Posts: 166
NZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really nice
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by irish_eyes View Post
Hi batty, nice to hear from you. I guess its not all bad its just at certain times of the year I feel the distance. With the way Ireland is now, people are holding on to whatever spare cash they have. I understand that. We are heading back for a holiday in June so thats something to look forward to but I am already dreading the moment when I have to get back on the plane and return here. Stupid I know but its just how I feel. We are seriously considering a move to Canada as I just dont feel like nz is where I want to spend the rest of my life. The location in terms of the rest of the world is jsut the pits sometimes.

I also almost jump on any irish people when i hear them. I have made a few friends with some Irish people and it really is great to have the craic with them like only Irish people know how. Tho in saying that I have some very funny kiwi friends too. Hope your well and thank you everyone for your advise and kind words.
Hi Irish Eyes

I know exactly where your coming from with the feeling of not wanting to spend the rest of your life here.

We have just brought a house in Birkenhead and been in NZ just over 4 years, I thought finally the house would make me feel settled but it hasn't.

NZ is lovely, but it feels like you are so far away from everything and there is some nagging feeling that it's not quite right for us.

We have our first visit home planned for 2013 so looking forward to seeing what I think of the UK, who knows I may prefer NZ but we need to do the comparison.

Good luck!
NZ4Now is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:43 pm
  #12  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
irish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by NZ4Now View Post
Hi Irish Eyes

I know exactly where your coming from with the feeling of not wanting to spend the rest of your life here.

We have just brought a house in Birkenhead and been in NZ just over 4 years, I thought finally the house would make me feel settled but it hasn't.

NZ is lovely, but it feels like you are so far away from everything and there is some nagging feeling that it's not quite right for us.

We have our first visit home planned for 2013 so looking forward to seeing what I think of the UK, who knows I may prefer NZ but we need to do the comparison.

Good luck!

I think when you come from a different country you cannot help but do a comparison, however small or large they are its just hard not to sometimes. I have had the uneasy feeling about living here since I first came but lots has happened since that day and I owed it to my OH to at least give it a try here and I wanted to for my own sake as I didnt ever want to look back and think, why didnt I try harder. I have given it what i think is a fair amount of time (almost 4 years) and I still think its not for us. So now the hard work begins so I can find out what IS for us, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..............
irish_eyes is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 9:49 pm
  #13  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: Auckland
Posts: 166
NZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really niceNZ4Now is just really nice
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by irish_eyes View Post
I think when you come from a different country you cannot help but do a comparison, however small or large they are its just hard not to sometimes. I have had the uneasy feeling about living here since I first came but lots has happened since that day and I owed it to my OH to at least give it a try here and I wanted to for my own sake as I didnt ever want to look back and think, why didnt I try harder. I have given it what i think is a fair amount of time (almost 4 years) and I still think its not for us. So now the hard work begins so I can find out what IS for us, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..............

I hear ya

Also the working out what is right is the hardsest part

OH has been so good with me he just goes along with the flow of things even though he said he would never want to live here forever!

We have made a promise that until we go back to UK in 2013 which by then would be our first visit in 6 years nearly then we just need to live our lives here in NZ and make the most of it
NZ4Now is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 10:17 pm
  #14  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
irish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of lightirish_eyes is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by NZ4Now View Post
I hear ya

Also the working out what is right is the hardsest part

OH has been so good with me he just goes along with the flow of things even though he said he would never want to live here forever!

We have made a promise that until we go back to UK in 2013 which by then would be our first visit in 6 years nearly then we just need to live our lives here in NZ and make the most of it

I think its a very wise moving going back for a holiday. Is it an option for you to move anywhere else? We are considering a move to Canada at the moment. I dont want to continue this battle in my head anymore. I too am lucky that my OH is happy to go with the flow.
irish_eyes is offline  
Old Jan 7th 2012, 10:29 pm
  #15  
~^_^~
 
shelloid's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Wellington
Posts: 287
shelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond reputeshelloid has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

We had OH's parents over for a month last year, and they're planning on another month long trip in March this year

My parents will never visit. My mum lives on benefits in the UK and can't afford to come over.
My dad has told me it would be a waste of money coming over - basically he's not got much money and he can't justify the cost. Now he's also not in good health and from a health point of view wouldn't be allowed to make the trip.

My sister had planned on coming over last year, but life got in the way and then it was supposed to be this year. Now she says she can't afford it either.

It does upset me, but really it was my choice to come out here, so I can't complain.
shelloid is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.