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How many of you have 'visitors'???

How many of you have 'visitors'???

Old Jan 8th 2012, 12:38 am
  #16  
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by irish_eyes View Post

I also almost jump on any irish people when i hear them. I have made a few friends with some Irish people and it really is great to have the craic with them like only Irish people know how. Tho in saying that I have some very funny kiwi friends too. Hope your well and thank you everyone for your advise and kind words.
My hairdresser in South Auckland is Irish. Let me know if you want me to introduce her. She's lovely and loves a craic (whatever that is). Interesting to note that they came out, decided it was not for them and went back home. Realised they'd made a mistake and are out here again, I think for good this time.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 1:02 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

I know for a certain fact that none of my relatives will visit. That's not to say they are not welcome but I just think time and circumstance will get in the way.
My Dad could come, but by the time it dawns on him to visit he'll be to old and his health will have deteriorated.
My sister has said she'll visit when they go to Canada. We live in New Zealand, she needs to spend the money on a geography lesson instead ! Her kids are teenagers with their own lives.

My husband's mother won't visit and she only lives in Auckland. She has failing eyesight but basically can't be bothered. It's easier for her for us to visit her. Eight hour drive or no eight hour drive.

His sister who also lives in Auckland won't visit. No point her coming on her own (though she's welcome) and I don't think she wants to drive for 8 hours sharing the driving with her husband and their 3 kids in the car !

The only visitor we've had to date, though we've not even been here a year is an old friend of my husband's. He visited us when we were in rented accommodation. He returned for a two night stay when we purchased our present house.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 8:44 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.

You'll just spend weeks and weeks in a blind panic preparing, cleaning, shining, polishing, gardening, buying new bedding, towels etc for the comfort of your guests before they arrive. You spending a small fortune and maybe going as far as needing new beds, some decorating or maybe new bedroom curtains.

You use all you annual leave to take them out and show them places that you've been to before and honestly couldn't care less if you never saw again.

It all costs you an arm and a leg, paying for meals out which you wouldn't usually have. Then there's all the stops for coffee, tea and looking for loos.

You have to cook for them and entertain them from the crack of dawn until bedtime; keeping them occupied on the rain days, cleaning up after and run around like the flipping maid at their beck and call.

They use all your hot water; eat you out of house and home and complain about the food every time you eat out - there's too much BBQ sauce / garlic/ olive oil in everything.

You have to cater for all their ails, special diets / diabetic requirements, provide toiletries and all their other special little lotions / potions / pills and things they like, which they assumed you would have here.

They'll be cold or won't have brought the right clothes for wet weather and you end up shopping for days for some random article; be it hats, shoes, umbrellas so that they can leave the house because they 'never thought'.

It's a slippery slope, you keep them in a style that they become accustomed to and once they've been they can't understand why they never came before and will keep coming back for longer periods of time.

They now think your life is one long holiday and BBQ session and get bizarre ideas that you live like this all the time and no wonder you came here for such a lovely relaxed lifestyle; sitting out on the deck quaffing vast breakfasts of bacon and eggs, providing leisurely three course meals three times a day, with wine, beers and desserts at every meal and then they tell all their friends and they want to come too.

Your pets will long since have abandoned all hope and left home, cowering and hiding until the noisy deaf old folks have gone. They'll drive you bonkers, asking generally stupid questions / behaving like children / getting lost / losing money, cameras etc / not knowing where they are or where they've just been / being nosey / treating you like a child or annoying your spouse or partner to distraction. You will inevitably get cross with them and will be counting the days until they're safely returned to the airport.

They want all their washing and ironing done before they leave; then comes the day you leave them at the airport, you feel sick all day, guilty for not treating them better or appreciating the short time they had here, you'll be bawling your eyes out like a big sook all the way home and be awake for 24 hours until you've heard they arrived home safely.

Then to top it off you'll be back on the rollercoaster.... world turned upside down, upset, moping about not knowing what to do with yourself and homesick for days and weeks afterwards.

Last edited by Bo-Jangles; Jan 8th 2012 at 8:53 am.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 9:03 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles View Post
Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.

You'll just spend weeks and weeks in a blind panic preparing, cleaning, shining, polishing, gardening, buying new bedding, towels etc for the comfort of your guests before they arrive. You spending a small fortune and maybe going as far as needing new beds, some decorating or maybe new bedroom curtains.

You use all you annual leave to take them out and show them places that you've been to before and honestly couldn't care less if you never saw again.

It all costs you an arm and a leg, paying for meals out which you wouldn't usually have. Then there's all the stops for coffee, tea and looking for loos.

You have to cook for them and entertain them from the crack of dawn until bedtime; keeping them occupied on the rain days, cleaning up after and run around like the flipping maid at their beck and call.

They use all your hot water; eat you out of house and home and complain about the food every time you eat out - there's too much BBQ sauce / garlic/ olive oil in everything.

You have to cater for all their ails, special diets / diabetic requirements, provide toiletries and all their other special little lotions / potions / pills and things they like, which they assumed you would have here.

They'll be cold or won't have brought the right clothes for wet weather and you end up shopping for days for some random article; be it hats, shoes, umbrellas so that they can leave the house because they 'never thought'.

It's a slippery slope, you keep them in a style that they become accustomed to and once they've been they can't understand why they never came before and will keep coming back for longer periods of time.

They now think your life is one long holiday and BBQ session and get bizarre ideas that you live like this all the time and no wonder you came here for such a lovely relaxed lifestyle; sitting out on the deck quaffing vast breakfasts of bacon and eggs, providing leisurely three course meals three times a day, with wine, beers and desserts at every meal and then they tell all their friends and they want to come too.

Your pets will long since have abandoned all hope and left home, cowering and hiding until the noisy deaf old folks have gone. They'll drive you bonkers, asking generally stupid questions / behaving like children / getting lost / losing money, cameras etc / not knowing where they are or where they've just been / being nosey / treating you like a child or annoying your spouse or partner to distraction. You will inevitably get cross with them and will be counting the days until they're safely returned to the airport.

They want all their washing and ironing done before they leave; then comes the day you leave them at the airport, you feel sick all day, guilty for not treating them better or appreciating the short time they had here, you'll be bawling your eyes out like a big sook all the way home and be awake for 24 hours until you've heard they arrived home safely.

Then to top it off you'll be back on the rollercoaster.... world turned upside down, upset, moping about not knowing what to do with yourself and homesick for days and weeks afterwards.
Hey Bo-jangles, we're not all like that you know. I pulled my weight when I stayed with my brother (zara's dad) last time!!! I bought food, cooked meals, did loads of baking, took my neice to the park to give zara's mum a break, did the washing, cleaned the house etc and helped out with the baby. I even took one of the cars for it's WOF!!!!

But saying that, when my parents stayed with him, you'd have thought my mum was staying in an all-inclusive hotel, treating my brother like a waiter
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 10:00 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

It's quite amusing reading this from the other side. I hate to admit it, but I think my kiwi in-laws might be more game than uk relatives....

Mine have been out to the uk 3 times in the last 6 years, they are in their late 60's and had never been further than Oz (till I produced grandchildren...), but come they do, and boy do they stay (4.5 months the longest, not to be recommended)

They dont have huge amounts of money, have loads of other family commitments, but make supreme sacrifices and effort to come out and see us, to my slight shame we dont make the same effort to get out there much these days.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 10:24 am
  #21  
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles View Post
Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.

You'll just spend weeks and weeks in a blind panic preparing, cleaning, shining, polishing, gardening, buying new bedding, towels etc for the comfort of your guests before they arrive. You spending a small fortune and maybe going as far as needing new beds, some decorating or maybe new bedroom curtains.

You use all you annual leave to take them out and show them places that you've been to before and honestly couldn't care less if you never saw again.

It all costs you an arm and a leg, paying for meals out which you wouldn't usually have. Then there's all the stops for coffee, tea and looking for loos.

You have to cook for them and entertain them from the crack of dawn until bedtime; keeping them occupied on the rain days, cleaning up after and run around like the flipping maid at their beck and call.

They use all your hot water; eat you out of house and home and complain about the food every time you eat out - there's too much BBQ sauce / garlic/ olive oil in everything.

You have to cater for all their ails, special diets / diabetic requirements, provide toiletries and all their other special little lotions / potions / pills and things they like, which they assumed you would have here.

They'll be cold or won't have brought the right clothes for wet weather and you end up shopping for days for some random article; be it hats, shoes, umbrellas so that they can leave the house because they 'never thought'.

It's a slippery slope, you keep them in a style that they become accustomed to and once they've been they can't understand why they never came before and will keep coming back for longer periods of time.

They now think your life is one long holiday and BBQ session and get bizarre ideas that you live like this all the time and no wonder you came here for such a lovely relaxed lifestyle; sitting out on the deck quaffing vast breakfasts of bacon and eggs, providing leisurely three course meals three times a day, with wine, beers and desserts at every meal and then they tell all their friends and they want to come too.

Your pets will long since have abandoned all hope and left home, cowering and hiding until the noisy deaf old folks have gone. They'll drive you bonkers, asking generally stupid questions / behaving like children / getting lost / losing money, cameras etc / not knowing where they are or where they've just been / being nosey / treating you like a child or annoying your spouse or partner to distraction. You will inevitably get cross with them and will be counting the days until they're safely returned to the airport.

They want all their washing and ironing done before they leave; then comes the day you leave them at the airport, you feel sick all day, guilty for not treating them better or appreciating the short time they had here, you'll be bawling your eyes out like a big sook all the way home and be awake for 24 hours until you've heard they arrived home safely.

Then to top it off you'll be back on the rollercoaster.... world turned upside down, upset, moping about not knowing what to do with yourself and homesick for days and weeks afterwards.
Oh my I hope our daughter and son in law don't feel like that about us. We have gone for 6 weeks at a time for the last 5 years.

Seeing that they both worked we got ourselves a hire car. Having said that the last time we went we used our daughters because as she said it was sat on a car park all day. I help with the washing, ironing & cleaning and Alan does the garden etc. It is very difficult for everyone concerned living together for a long period so this is what we do. In the middle of the holiday we book a trip away. One year we went to the Coromandel and surrounding areas next time we went as far a Cape Reinge doing this on a coach trip from Auckland. We went with Intercity from Tauranga to Auckland. Last January we had a week in Wellington. When we return they are glad to have us back again (I think).

Anyway you can read about our holidays in my past posts it may give you a few ideas so that you are not tied to them next time. Here's one of them.

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=701648
June

Last edited by Margaret Parkinson; Jan 8th 2012 at 10:27 am.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 8:51 pm
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles View Post
Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.
Had to cut it short but I couldn't have put it better myself.

My sister had a baby 4 months after we arrived here, so after 10 months of living here, we used our return portions (bought for specific purpose of going back to meet niece) and visited the UK - we lasted 3 days before pining to come back here! We have never been back since, that was April/May 2008.

My brother came here on a WHV in November 2009 and lived here for 2 years before going back late last year. My Mum came out in November 2010 (I'm seeing a pattern here...!!) for 8 weeks. My sister can't afford to come over as they only have 1 income and 3 children and would take a lifetime to save up so we settle for Skype. My other brother is saving up to come out on a WHV this year too!

The out-laws have never mentioned coming over, he's not that bothered (or doesn't admit to it) and I'm certainly not that interested in entertaining them either.

I've had the promises (sometimes threats) of visitors for 4 and a half years now from friends but none have arrived yet. TBH we have moved on from them and they have moved on from us. We don't have much in common anymore and we have drifted apart. Maybe it was the questions they asked "What have you been up to?" and we tell them beach, BBQs etc. and they have winter blues...

My Mum has just been in hospital and we had a long discussion over the weekend about p'raps moving back to be closer but I couldn't do it to the kids! We made a choice to leave family and friends and uproot to the other side of the world, and I wouldn't expect others to pull out thousands of pounds to come and visit us. I also say the same to them too, going back there isn't a holiday and if I'm going to spend $10-12k on flights and hire cars etc, I'm taking my kids to Disneyland or something...
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 10:21 pm
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Bo-Jangles ! Right on the money once again ! That's more or less why I'm kinda hoping my lot don't visit.
They visited us in Britain about the number of times you could count on the fingers of one hand and that included one Christmas. I would usually turn up at my parents house (not that often) on a Sunday when my sister might be there with the kids i.e. my niece and nephew. Y'know, kill two birds with one stone kinda thing. We all lived within 10 miles of each other then. So let's not bother with any 'let's pretend' now shall we ?
I'm kinda banking on can't afford/can't be bothered so they don't come so they leave us alone !

I've no doubt I've suddenly become 'interesting' since re-locating to NZ. Oh purleeze, just leave me out.

Last edited by Snap Shot; Jan 8th 2012 at 10:31 pm.
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

I also say the same to them too, going back there isn't a holiday and if I'm going to spend $10-12k on flights and hire cars etc, I'm taking my kids to Disneyland or something...[/QUOTE]

I can relate to this and I don't have kids. I feel that all are welcome to come. They've just gotta arrive yet ! As we are well out of the main centres we might get a passin' through visitor but no relatives. Auckland would be the draw card not Wanganui suprisingly !
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Old Jan 8th 2012, 11:14 pm
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles View Post
Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.
Brilliant post BJ. Made me laugh so much. We've hardly had anyone to stay in the five years we've been here. Mostly friends of rellies have stayed over for a couple of nights but that has been about it. I would love my parents to come & stay but I always knew that they wouldn't be able to given my Mum's ill-health.

I know they would be driving me bananas soon after though, so I'm grateful. I accept that most of my friends can't afford to come over as they have kids & am extremely grateful that the OH's family won't be coming either. Some days we feel that being 12,000 miles apart is too close

I did have a friend to stay a couple of years back & she was great company & no bother at all but I was pleased when she went up north for a few days, so that we had some 'us' time. Got a friend coming to stay at Christmas & I'm so looking forward to that
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Old Jan 9th 2012, 1:25 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

I have to say I agree with Bojangles. Having just had 2 visitors for our first Kiwi Christmas I'll be glad to get back to normal.

It's great to see them, but it's hard work, you inevitably focus on them and ignore your husband/pets and it is unsettling when they leave.

Nine months in, I still feel as close to my family as I always did and skype my mum as often as I spoke to her in the UK (we lived 2 hours away). Some friends fall off the radar, but I've got new ones.

I reckon we'll have someone out to see us once a year...I'm aiming to take a trip back in 2013.
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Old Jan 9th 2012, 1:43 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

I also have to say I agree with Bojangles. We currently have my mother here for 6 months! and we will be glad to get back to normal.
She came for a month last year and that was just about right.

Dont get me wrong, we love her and it is great to see her, but it/she is also very hard work, and it will unsettling for the kids when she leaves.
Personally we believe 6 months is too long for a visit not only for us but her as well.

Last edited by RobDon; Jan 9th 2012 at 1:46 am.
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Old Jan 9th 2012, 4:39 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

[QUOTE=Bo-Jangles;9828095]Visitors schmisitors, who needs them, eh? Believe me, after they'e been here for four hours you'll be wishing they were gone already.



Whilst I don't have any family to land on us, I fear my mother in law will be out sooner rather than later and will make her self right at home thank you very much!!
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Old Jan 9th 2012, 4:48 am
  #29  
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Bo Jangles, that's brilliant, I am so with you .
I am, in fairness, incredibly lucky as we've had heaps of visitors & quite honestly it's been a privilege having so many of my nearest & dearest make the trip here to see us, but my sister has just left after a month's visit, & it's cost us a fortune . Doing all the tourist stuff, meals, gas to get to places, booze etc etc, it all adds up. And then she, happily spending her pounds, comments on how affordable a $100 activity is. Errr, yes, if you earn pounds maybe, but not for me.
In the past month I've had emails from 2 other friends who are planning trips to see NZ, & would like to spend some time with us. Again, I'm overjoyed that I'll get the opportunity to catch up with them, but there is a real sinking feeling when I stop for long enough to think about catering for them, & entertaining them. My other sister is coming for a month or so in November, & my Mum & her partner are seriously talking about making their second trip out here early in 2013.
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Old Jan 9th 2012, 5:38 am
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Default Re: How many of you have 'visitors'???

Originally Posted by jmh View Post
My hairdresser in South Auckland is Irish. Let me know if you want me to introduce her. She's lovely and loves a craic (whatever that is). Interesting to note that they came out, decided it was not for them and went back home. Realised they'd made a mistake and are out here again, I think for good this time.
Hiya, thanks for that it gave me laugh. A craic is just somebodys backside, the craic is to have fun
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