British Expats - Early Morning Cock Problem... Help Needed!

Here is that song I was mentioning, I hope it is not too colourful for the forum.

The Cockerell Song
by Ivor Biggun
From the Album: "More Filth! Dirt Cheap"

Some folks like a pussy, a budgie or a tit
Some take up with a Spaniel pup
That fills up the house with [woof, woof] shit
Myself now I keep chickens
And I've a favourite one
He's Dick my little cockerel
And I don't know where he's gone

[Chorus]
Has anyone seen my cock
My big Rhode Island Red
He's mostly pink with a little bit of blue
And purple on his head
He stands straight up in the morning
And he gives my wife a shock [scream]
Has anybody seen, anybody seen
Anybody, anybody seen my cock

He's a stiff necked little upstart
And I've known him all my life
He's my pride and pleasure
And a torment to my wife
Sometimes he's magnificent
And sometimes small and thin
But he puffs up like a pigeon
When you tickle him under the chin

Chorus

He has two enormous wattles hanging down
They're the best you'll ever find
Madam, you may stroke him if you like
If you feel that way inclined
Be careful he doesn't spit in your eye though

Chorus x 2

Has anybody seen, anybody seen
Anybody, anybody seen his cock

<the end>