Dave_Was

Congrats!! That is so cool.

In the four years that I have been here, I had my brother, mum and dad here in the first week and then nobody has visited since.

Enjoy every minute of it. Combined with the fact that you know you're going back next year, you can really enjoy the 'holiday mentality'.

Margaret3

awwwwwwwwwe thats fantastic

3 go mad in Adelaide

Thank youall, your replies are so kind. Just had the shine taken off of it though. My parents have now 'officially' told us they are coming now and also told the rest of my family. My sister-in-law has been great, as has my brother, who's only concern was that maybe it was a bit soon (we left in May) and that saying goodbye all over again so soon would be too painful (they don't know we're going back next year) which I understand.

My sister though - oh my sister - well she has always been a different kettle of fish!

Apparantly she has gone absolutely ballistic! I'm assuming that is because they feel the need to see us already and will be away for Christmas. I'm afraid she has always been rather jealous of my and OH's relationship with my parents (OH and Dad are best buddies) but basically she just has a bitter streak than runs right through her. She doesnt treat people well but expects everything to revolve around her! I've always had a great friendship with my parents, we holidayed together and socialised together, etc - she always hated it but they always did her head in - she can't have it both ways.

Well from what I hear she has said some pretty nasty things to them (this is certainly not the first time!) and has really upset the applecart about the whole trip. What a terrible position to put poor mum and dad in - why should they feel guilty for missing us and wanting to see us? I've just about had enough of her and now I think about it, I haven't even missed her.

Right - gonna put all that behind me now and look forward to seeing them - she's not worth getting upset over!

HighSpeedGrandma

Hi there.
Maybe your sister wishes she could be there too and share Christmas with you all but she can't afford the flights or something? Who knows. I am sure she IS jealous to a degree, that your parents are spending that money to fly out to you at Christmas when you 'chose' to be away from the family. That may well be how she is looking at things. "She chose to leave the country and now mum and dad are going to be away at Christmas just to be with her. But what about ME?" that type of thing?
The thing is your parents want to come over and she is going to have to accept it. Is she invited too? Let her know that she is welcome any time and you certainly aren't going to turn down down a visit from mum and dad and that you would just like everyone to get on.
That's all you can do. Then sit back and enjoy the time you have together. You can't change the way your sister feels, but that way you have done your best to show her she is more than welcome.

I have 2 daughters. I live in the US and they live in the UK. We get on great, until all 3 of us are together. Then we clash. It's like there is a conflict with who I spend the most time with. I understand to a degree how your sister is possibly feeling (and your parents!!).

3 go mad in Adelaide

Hi thanks for your reply.

No it really isn't that she wants to be here also for Christmas - she knows she could come anytime she liked. She's always had issues with our relationship with my parents, but doesn't do anything herself to foster a friendship with them.

I don't think any talking will help now - apparently she has been spitting complete venom about my mum (who always gets it, bless her) f-ing b****, never want to see her again, she'll never see the girls again, etc, etc. It's so sad, but I really think mum and dad have had their fill this time. Why do families feel the need to do this to each other

HighSpeedGrandma

Some people are just born bad! In that case ( and I have a sister in law like that, she would murder if it would suit her needs, I know that) there isn't anything else you can do, except thank your lucky stars you are well away from her.
Your poor mum. My mum had the same to deal with, with my brother. He was the one that literally made her life hell on earth. He would swear at her, make her life a misery, treat her like a servant, tell her he hated her and yet she loved him the most of all and she told me that she couldn't help it, he was her favourite no matter what. And he abused it no end.
My brother and I clashed right from the start and when I was around he would not treat mum like that, but I left home at 18 and he made her last 2 years on earth so bad she attempted suicide several times.
Now he is living with what he did and how he behaved. I am not saying your sister is anywhere near as bad as my brother, but I do realise there comes a point where there's nothing you can do.
You can't pick your family as they say, and unfortunately it's true. I wish you could.

islandergirl

Aah no one can get under your skin like a sibling eh?

Sounds like your sister is a bitter and twisted woman, better to just ignore her than to give her all that attention for acting like a spoilt child IMO.

Is there any chance your mum would tell her to stop being a diva and that it's none of her damn business if they want to take a trip to Aus - or is your mum too nice?

3 go mad in Adelaide

Have you met her S?

I think mum is too mad at her to talk to her right now, but someone needs to tell her to shut her gob for once - I think that's the problem, we do tend to let her get away with it

islandergirl

Not exactly her, but have met that EXACT type, the kind of person that can't stand to see anyone else happy and has to spoil things for others.

It sucks but living well is the best revenge and all that.

She will be furious that you are coming home too, but she needs to get over herself.

3 go mad in Adelaide

Yeah, it has occurred to me that when she finds out we're going home she'll just go into complete meltdown

It's sad to see someone you actually love (like is rather different!) be eaten up with jealousy and bitterness - no way to live a life

needasmack

Wow i think we all must have sisters like that.

My sister is like that too I think or may she is just misguided.
Every thing i do in my life is for the attention - she thinks lol

If i move countries for what ever the reason in actuality - she thinks i am doing it for the attention?!?!?!?
yeah..... i like the torment, turmoil and pain of moving countries with 3 kids and a hubby. She winds up my mom and dad some thing fierce.

I had to shut myself off from my sister because she caused me so much stress. She kept emailing me telling me i was childish and that family sit down and deal with stuff. Blood is thicker than water and all that you know. Well i calmly told her enough was enough - the drama had to stop and she needed to move on. I hope she has. Since breaking off the relationship with her, i have also been anti-depressant free for just over a year! and I am still coping and going strong.

My hubby has the chance of going back to his dream job back in Britain next month, and i am in more turmoil dreading the response from my sister and how she will wind up the family about it, than thinking of the actual relocation.

Family is hard work sometimes. Reminds me of that British show "some mothers do have them" at least the title anyways

Sharon

Marmalade

Wow, that's awful about the sister thing. Definitely sounds like a lot of jealousy (a backhanded compliment in a way). I'm glad that I don't have to deal with that in anyway as I don't have a sister. I enjoy having two brothers who don't try to dictate anything to me, and have no jealousy towards me (mmmmm, I'm thinking why would they, oh well...).

But, my mother is a different story. She tends to think of all the negatives no matter what, even if everyone else is happy for me, she will point out a negative at every turn. I have had a lot of problems dealing with her negativity over the years, and moving back home within the year, I'm sure I'll deal with all of that again. It's kind of nice being here away from all of that, but deep down I know that she doesn't really mean what she says, but it always makes me feel bad about myself nevertheless

Edit: I was going to just say "Sister's Suck" ~ but, how would I know, I don't have one (hee, hee)