Why do I feel so guilty?
Apr 15th 2007, 8:05 am
#31
Life is more than a dream
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Kings Moss, UK - it's a bit like Emmerdale
Posts: 1,389
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
England isn't just about where your family is to me if they were all over here in Aus I would still want to go back to England, being able to go out for a walk with our dog Bella over the fields, seeing that god given spring come to life like I did last year was the most amazing feeling in my soul, it uplifted me pure and simple even though I was low still. I would walk out the door, see the buds coming to life, see the blossoms opening and just sniff up that feeling of coldness in the air. I could walk into the village and see someone to say hello to, chat to the women in th village post office, someone!
Plants
Plants
Apr 20th 2007, 2:13 am
#32
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Hi Libby
One of the things I learned from our experience of living in Oz and coming back to the UK is NEVER NEVER NEVER take advice from people who have not been through the experience themselves - I must admit before we moved to Oz I was probably one of those people who would say 'why do you want to come back to England, there's nothing here to come back for,' - gosh how times have changed - having lived in Perth and come backto the UK I see the country through totally different eyes - sure there are some problems here but the UK still has an awful lot to offer - I for one will never allow myself to be taken in again but the constant doom and gloom reported in the UK media or by those who constantly moan about the UK but have never experienced life outside of their own town, let alone another country.
I spent all of yesterday watching my children play on the beach with two of their cousins and their Grandma - we were with the people we love most, we stayed there all day, I did not have to slather them in 3 layers of suncream from head to foot and it was not so hot that we had to go home after half an hour - the UK has nothing to offer??? Utter hogwash! I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I have never been happier.
One of the things I learned from our experience of living in Oz and coming back to the UK is NEVER NEVER NEVER take advice from people who have not been through the experience themselves - I must admit before we moved to Oz I was probably one of those people who would say 'why do you want to come back to England, there's nothing here to come back for,' - gosh how times have changed - having lived in Perth and come backto the UK I see the country through totally different eyes - sure there are some problems here but the UK still has an awful lot to offer - I for one will never allow myself to be taken in again but the constant doom and gloom reported in the UK media or by those who constantly moan about the UK but have never experienced life outside of their own town, let alone another country.
I spent all of yesterday watching my children play on the beach with two of their cousins and their Grandma - we were with the people we love most, we stayed there all day, I did not have to slather them in 3 layers of suncream from head to foot and it was not so hot that we had to go home after half an hour - the UK has nothing to offer??? Utter hogwash! I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I have never been happier.
I'm off to the UK in May - just to remind myself of what I am missing by being stuck in Oz and not at home!!
Apr 20th 2007, 2:15 am
#33
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Sorry Libby - I've been away from the forum for a couple of weeks - are you thinking of going back to the UK again?
Apr 20th 2007, 2:20 am
#34
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Wow - you have SO hit the nail on the head Linda! What you said about the 'grit' of the UK totally describes what I've been trying to put my finger on. This really resonates with me. I have so often agonised about why I just feel so 'wrong' in Perth. I just look around and think "it's just all too easy here - and that's what makes it so boring" For me, anyway! Trying to put things into words is not always easy. I think what I feel I have lost so much here, is my motivation. I can't even be bothered to go for a walk.
It's pathetic really but I just do not feel inspired at all. Been there, done it, been there again, done it again, over and over again! By that, I mean going to the beach, the river, the sandunes, the shopping centres, Lancelin and Margaret River. All gorgeous places (apart from the shopping centres!) - but HOW MANY MORE TIMES?!! I made the grave mistake of telling someone I found Perth boring the other day. She jumped down my throat and said "A place is only as boring as you make it! There is loads to do here if you look for it!". Interesting that she has left Perth twice to live back in the UK! Trying to justify something perhaps?! Besides, it's not that kind of boredom - the boredom I'm talking about is the absolute lack of atmosphere and the laid-back life style (which is great if you are on holiday - but not ALL the time!)
I agree, I have never felt like I belong here, I don't ever feel I am myself - always wary of what I say so I don't offend people, I desperately miss the feeling of belonging and I actually think it's very unnatural to live so very far away from friends, family and the life that made you the person you are. My heart aches constantly from not being a part of my 'life' that was my real life, and even though the end is now in sight (THANK GOD!!) - I wish we could just go NOW! We leave in July.
It's pathetic really but I just do not feel inspired at all. Been there, done it, been there again, done it again, over and over again! By that, I mean going to the beach, the river, the sandunes, the shopping centres, Lancelin and Margaret River. All gorgeous places (apart from the shopping centres!) - but HOW MANY MORE TIMES?!! I made the grave mistake of telling someone I found Perth boring the other day. She jumped down my throat and said "A place is only as boring as you make it! There is loads to do here if you look for it!". Interesting that she has left Perth twice to live back in the UK! Trying to justify something perhaps?! Besides, it's not that kind of boredom - the boredom I'm talking about is the absolute lack of atmosphere and the laid-back life style (which is great if you are on holiday - but not ALL the time!)
I agree, I have never felt like I belong here, I don't ever feel I am myself - always wary of what I say so I don't offend people, I desperately miss the feeling of belonging and I actually think it's very unnatural to live so very far away from friends, family and the life that made you the person you are. My heart aches constantly from not being a part of my 'life' that was my real life, and even though the end is now in sight (THANK GOD!!) - I wish we could just go NOW! We leave in July.
How many more times must I go to Apollo Bay, Hanging Rock, Dandenongs to name but a few - and they are all lovely places - but sometimes it's a bit like groundhog day........................ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Apr 20th 2007, 3:12 am
#35
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Apr 20th 2007, 3:18 am
#36
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
The good news is that I'm off home next week for my "fix" of England and everything english. We also now have our citizenship - so there's a little ray of light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!
Stay positive - and don't forget - it's not forever!!!
Apr 20th 2007, 3:52 am
#37
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
I'm doing ok (I used to be kendodd - do you remember?) - I have felt homesick right from the word go - and still do - it never goes away I'm afraid. I survive these days by taking anti-depressants!!!!!!
The good news is that I'm off home next week for my "fix" of England and everything english. We also now have our citizenship - so there's a little ray of light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!
Stay positive - and don't forget - it's not forever!!!
The good news is that I'm off home next week for my "fix" of England and everything english. We also now have our citizenship - so there's a little ray of light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!
Stay positive - and don't forget - it's not forever!!!
Of course I remember you, you said some lovely stuff to me to help me the first time mate.
I really do feel for you, being on tablets to help you is not good and wish there was something I could say to make it better for you.
I hope you enjoy England....I am sure you will....can I sneak in to your suitcase please!!
have you any plans to return permantley yet??
You stay positive too, take care,
LibbyX
Apr 20th 2007, 4:56 am
#38
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Hopefully - this time next year...................
Last edited by MrsB; Apr 20th 2007 at 4:57 am. Reason: spelling
Apr 20th 2007, 5:20 am
#39
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Would not bringing me back be a problem..........I would hide so you couldnt anyway!!
LibbyX
Apr 20th 2007, 7:04 am
#40
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Back in Perth
Posts: 336
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
I'm doing ok (I used to be kendodd - do you remember?) - I have felt homesick right from the word go - and still do - it never goes away I'm afraid. I survive these days by taking anti-depressants!!!!!!
The good news is that I'm off home next week for my "fix" of England and everything english. We also now have our citizenship - so there's a little ray of light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!
Stay positive - and don't forget - it's not forever!!!
The good news is that I'm off home next week for my "fix" of England and everything english. We also now have our citizenship - so there's a little ray of light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!
Stay positive - and don't forget - it's not forever!!!
Join the club! I am on tablets too otherwise I wouldn't cope either!
Oh and can I bagsy the suitcase space please!
Unless we can both fit in Libby!!!
Plants
Apr 20th 2007, 7:20 am
#41
Life is more than a dream
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Kings Moss, UK - it's a bit like Emmerdale
Posts: 1,389
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
I can SO relate to this boredom/ uninspiration/ motivational thing. I live 100m from a beach - and I should go and walk along it - but can I be bothered? No.
How many more times must I go to Apollo Bay, Hanging Rock, Dandenongs to name but a few - and they are all lovely places - but sometimes it's a bit like groundhog day........................ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
How many more times must I go to Apollo Bay, Hanging Rock, Dandenongs to name but a few - and they are all lovely places - but sometimes it's a bit like groundhog day........................ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Apr 23rd 2007, 8:08 am
#43
Life is more than a dream
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Kings Moss, UK - it's a bit like Emmerdale
Posts: 1,389
Apr 23rd 2007, 8:22 am
#44
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Depends
Posts: 4,041
Re: Why do I feel so guilty?
Hi Libby
I watched your progress when you went to Oz the first time. I had it another way that my family couldn't understand initially why I wanted to return to Oz when I first went back to UK. I didn't go back to stay so it sort of bewildered me that they couldn't understand that I missed the people I had got close to in Oz and had made it a sort of home. But I did go back for a recce to see how I felt and decided to stay in Europe instead. The one thing I did find that Australia was too far away from UK and often wished it was closer. But when I was in UK I missed things from Oz and vise versa and I hated that feeling.
I've sorted it out by living in South of Spain, I commute to UK so see my family more, but I don't have to live there. That has helped me settle more by doing that and also get a similar lifestyle that I missed from Oz and able to get the cravings of family etc by being able to jump on a plane without having to take a mortgage out each time. Maybe if you are feeling that you would like the best of both worlds a similar solution may work for you. It has grounded me much more by doing that and I'm not sure if I would go back to Oz now which I didn't think I would think like that before. But I like the closer proximity of other countries and being able to see my family more than I did when I lived in Oz.
Nowhere has to be forever and families don't always support how we feel at the time and sometimes they don't understand especially if they have never lived elsewhere themselves. Mine certainly didn't, so I didn't say anything to them in the end. It is your life, live it how and where you want wherever it makes you happy, your family may be concerned in how much it is costing you going backwards and forwards. Maybe work out how much all your stuff is worth and if it would be cheaper to sell it and then replace it if you go back, rather than shipping it back again.
Best of luck and remember it's your life, no one else's and you have to do whatever is needed to find happiness, wherever it is.
Keep your chin up....
I watched your progress when you went to Oz the first time. I had it another way that my family couldn't understand initially why I wanted to return to Oz when I first went back to UK. I didn't go back to stay so it sort of bewildered me that they couldn't understand that I missed the people I had got close to in Oz and had made it a sort of home. But I did go back for a recce to see how I felt and decided to stay in Europe instead. The one thing I did find that Australia was too far away from UK and often wished it was closer. But when I was in UK I missed things from Oz and vise versa and I hated that feeling.
I've sorted it out by living in South of Spain, I commute to UK so see my family more, but I don't have to live there. That has helped me settle more by doing that and also get a similar lifestyle that I missed from Oz and able to get the cravings of family etc by being able to jump on a plane without having to take a mortgage out each time. Maybe if you are feeling that you would like the best of both worlds a similar solution may work for you. It has grounded me much more by doing that and I'm not sure if I would go back to Oz now which I didn't think I would think like that before. But I like the closer proximity of other countries and being able to see my family more than I did when I lived in Oz.
Nowhere has to be forever and families don't always support how we feel at the time and sometimes they don't understand especially if they have never lived elsewhere themselves. Mine certainly didn't, so I didn't say anything to them in the end. It is your life, live it how and where you want wherever it makes you happy, your family may be concerned in how much it is costing you going backwards and forwards. Maybe work out how much all your stuff is worth and if it would be cheaper to sell it and then replace it if you go back, rather than shipping it back again.
Best of luck and remember it's your life, no one else's and you have to do whatever is needed to find happiness, wherever it is.
Keep your chin up....
