Hi all,

I have been a long time lurker on this forum and have been very appreciative of it; from dreaming of a move, making it a reality, enjoying the honeymoon period and now wanting to go back after only 9 months..

My husband and I (both early 30's) moved from the UK in March 2021. I am a citizen and I was able to sponsor him for PR which we had activated in 2016. It had always been a dream for us to move to Canada, specifically southern Ontario. We had visited several times and would be acquainted with people who live in Ontario, plus a close family member of ours grew up there. I got a job offer whilst in the UK after spending the best part of a year working hard to get. It was in the same field as my employment in the UK.

We were comfortable and financially secure in the UK, living close by to our family and friends. There were different reasons why we wanted to leave, the main ones that stuck out are 'if we didn't try it, we would never know,' and 'don't want to be older and regret not at least trying it,' other things that drew us to it were the long "guaranteed" summer sunshine, I know people on here often complain about the long hot summers but we love it. The outdoor activities you can do with ease, the access to "North American" sports. Another main one was the opportunities that children would have here compared to that of in the UK.

We settled and still currently live in a semi-rural spot, renting a basement apartment from Canadian family who live upstairs with their children. When we arrived in March my husband got a job after several weeks, during that time we were able to get our vehicles/licences/bank accounts etc- set up. We very much settled into life here straight away, spending time with the family upstairs, who have introduced us to their friends and family and exploring our new surroundings. It was nice to get an insight of how a Canadian family lives and what things the kids can get involved in through school etc.

Through my work I was able to meet people from back home and other parts of the UK who we have been socializing frequently. As time has passed we have got to meet more and more people from Canada and the UK and are slowly building up a network of friends. We rarely spend a day inside and we have visited as many places as we can and have experienced so many activities and really tried to go all in on the experience. We were so full of joy and living right in the honeymoon period.

At first, we found everything fascinating and unconsciously just accepted things for the way they were and I would get used to it, as time has went on we find things tedious. We were fully aware we would have to make sacrifices in being here, we had to leave our beloved pets behind until we can get our own property, we have already missed a funeral and a wedding and the birth of our friends children, and that's just in 9 months. Although Facetime and Whatsapp are good they're not the same as in person.

My parents visited for 2 weeks recently and we really enjoyed their visit, about 3 weeks after they left, it dawned on us how alone we felt. Although we have people to turn to here, we have gotten to the point where we don't even want to face them, we would just rather be on our own or talk to our family back home. My job, which on paper-comparison with the UK is a no-brainer about where you would rather do it (Canada) I strongly dislike it, and miss my job in the UK terribly. We thought even, it was just my parents leaving which has prompted this, we are BOTH feeling the exact same 6 weeks later, every day actually seems to be getting worse.

We have realized just recently how much we actually gave up by coming here, how much we miss our family and friends and the familiarity and simplicity of the life in the UK. We haven't had a really good 'laugh' since we have been here, although people are nice here, it does feel a bit superficial and we feel like we don't really belong; but there isn't much more we can try to do to integrate. We are forcing ourselves out of the house now to do activities etc and it keeps us busy for a few hours but the 'emptiness' feeling soon returns.

On paper, Canada looked great for us, but in reality we are unhappy. The cost of living is SO expensive and not something we were prepared for. The rental/property market is crazy as everyone knows and I didn't move here to move into a condo (reality is we will have to, to get started). We are already paying double our UK mortgage to live in the basement apartment. When we compare everything individually (not just financially) between here and the UK for us, the UK and 'home' wins. Maybe it has taken coming here, all the hard work and heartache to realize it.

I always thought I would just 'exist' in the UK, but would start 'living' in Canada. The reality, for us is the opposite and we are feeling like we are just existing here. A few months ago our target was to buy a house, now we are closer buying one back in the UK than here. It is making us really bitter and resentful towards Canada even though it hasn't done a thing wrong to us, it is just simply how we feel. Canada is a great place, it just doesn't seem to be for us and we are so disappointed in feeling like this. We are more settled than we have been here in the 9 months we have spent, the most financially secure and now the most depressed, which we thought would be the opposite?! We are disillusioned and underwhelmed by our Canadian experience, never in a million years would I of thought I would yearn for what we had UK but that's our reality right now.

I know we have only been here 9 months but we just don't see how another 1-3 years will improve our situation. We have an upcoming visit home for a week soon, maybe that will be telling for example, will we be excited to get back on the plane to come back to Toronto?

As you can see, we are at a crossroads and unsure of what next step to take.

I appreciate it if you have read this far and welcome others to share their experience. Has anyone been in a similar position for ours and moved back to the UK and regretted it? Or perhaps are thriving and happy?

Thanks
M

Go to the Canada forum - plenty of threads there about being unhappy in Canada and should I/shouldn't I go back to UK
THIS forum has many threads on same aspect.
Your issues/experience is one many have gone through - there is no one answer.

Here's a recent one to start you off:
Moving Back to UK from Canada- Any Recent Experiences?

Sorry to hear this. As SanDiegogirl mentions there really isn't a right answer to this.
I made the move from the UK to Winnipeg in 2006 and I'll be completely honest, I've never been happy here. I'm still here though (15 years later...) despite me threatening to make the move back on numerous occasions. All I can say is that if both of you feel the same way then in a small way it does make the decision easier. I've seen many people comment on being at odds with their family over homesickness and the fact that you agree right now is a positive. By staying you do run the risk of one of you enjoying the experience while the other doesn't.
But most people will advise you to stick it out a bit longer as we all know how expensive, long and exhausting the process of an international move is. Many will encourage you stick it out long enough to earn citizenship but ultimately the decision is yours to asses.
Good luck!

Hey! Sorry to hear you are in a predicament, but your post resonated with me pretty well. I have been in Canada less than 4 months and already at the same crossroads wondering if I should waste my time staying here another year crossing my fingers and hoping it'll get better.

I moved here alone, mid-30's, good job (which can also be done from the UK), But I am working remotely constantly and no sign of anyone going back to the office here. My chances of having a social life here especially with Covid right now is zero. I did think to myself "maybe Canada is a place that people with Families move to" but even then it seems that's not the case.

I completely agree, it feels like you're just existing and any connections you do make don't feel as authentic. I'm not sure why and can't put my finger on it but there is an aura of 'generic-ness' to the friendly nature of Canadians that feels very synthetic.

I will be moving back shortly in the new year probably, and I can't say I'll miss a huge amount here apart from the beautiful scenery. I hate the food here in supermarkets and I'm dreaming of walking into waitrose or something when I get back! I get that it's a much much bigger country in Canada with the same population as the UK so they can't have as much fresh food choices as we do, but I dread meal times and as a foodie its a no from me!

Hope all works out for you whatever decision you do make! For me though - with so many uncertainties, if I feel like I have to force myself to like something, it probably isn't right.

I have been through the same thing - tried emigrating to Nova Scotia but have not enjoyed it and looking to move back to UK asap.

I must take the time to reply to.I came to Canada 1989 and remember. standing on the shore of lake Ontario with that little nagging voice saying are you sure of this.2022 going back.Home should have returned years ago never settled you said you never had a good laugh I was once told by a Canadian he was sick of me joking about.If you are unsettled now you may push the feeling to the back of your mind(I did for33wasted years) but it never goes away.My wife has noticed I don't go fishing anymore have no friends and really have lost interest.Anyway best of luck with your decision told my wife I was happier back in our small house with a black and white telly than I have ever been here....Joe

Hi there,

Your post actually reminds me of the first time I moved to the UK. I lived in Berkshire with my ex-husband and I just could not settle for whatever reason. Every day was a slog and all I could think about was moving back. Well, long story short, my ex-husband moved to the US with me (we both were in our early 30s) after I lived in Berkshire with him for a year, only for him say that he could not do it and he returned to the UK after only two weeks! I then moved back to the UK a few weeks later to try and save our marriage (it did not work). Not having any family in the UK, I then moved back to the US as I went through the divorce! I lasted a year in the US before moving back to the UK as I did not feel quite right in the US either (this time to Scotland). I stayed for 14 years and naturalised as a citizen in the UK. In 2016, I moved back to the US after the death of my father - in my mind, I could not imagine being so far away from my mother when her time comes. I now sit here planning a future move for part of the year to the Scotland or potentially France (much more difficult after Brexit, so most likely Scotland). All of this is to say that sometimes you have to just go with the flow and follow your heart. As a result of moving to Scotland and finally feeling like I was living in the right place, I met the absolute love of my life (we've been married 11 years), finished a master's degree and a Ph.D. and traveled to numerous European countries. My life here in the US with my hubby is very good - but I MISS Scotland SO MUCH! I still cannot fathom not being here for my mother when she dies or my brother when she is no longer here (he has special needs). So I am trying to plot a life between these two countries - perhaps buying a small flat in Edinburgh. Go with your heart and don't worry about what anyone thinks! Life is too short and you never know what opportunities may be around the corner - be happy and well All the best to you.