Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

tell her you MUST talk about it as it is sending you crazy! and good luck with it.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

[QUOTE=psb182]
Once again......the reasons are close
California weather....i used to love hot weather but as i got older i only like hot weather when i dont have to work in it and there is water nearby
my folks are getting older too
my social life has changed too.... too much driving to get anywhere with freeways jammed from over building so cant be arsed
Healthcare costs are killing me and I have insurance
Limgaugh/hannitty and the Hate Radio crowd

I have had a good run, i make good money but its not about money anymore its about quality of life, I will be outta here soon I know that

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Maybe she is afraid of moving to somewhere outside her comfort zone, making new friends etc etc. How old are the kids what do they want to do or are they old enough and having their own lives? Try and get her to talk about her fears, and if she refuses to budge could you compromise in some way in going over to the UK for a few months in a year, could you cope with that and would you be able to afford it, eg go home for a month in the summer and at xmas. My uncle used to spend 6 months in New Zealand and 6 months in UK, basically having 2 lives. Is is an option?

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Move to another state seems the best option from where I am sitting. I think something like 60% of Americans do it.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

You say your wife is a great wife and mother, well if she is she should listen to you or know you well enough without haveing to ask. Did you not give up your life in the U.K for her, why can she not give you the surrport you need right now. I really wish you well.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

The cost of healthcare and real estate taxes will you mean you have to leave anyway if you ever want to retire.

Maybe now is the time to go?

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

I dont think that will solve the problem. He is at a stage where everything here would be wrong where ever he was. Its not about moving its about going home.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

I think you should go to the UK for an extended visit to see if you feel happier there and if so go for it. If not then at least you will feel more settled here.

Having a nice house is irrelevant to the quality of your life. My Nan died recently and my mum had to sort through her home an unpleasant task anyway but my mum said it really put into perspective for her that it was all just stuff which you cant take with you. I wonder how many of us would take different life choices if we knew how long we were on this earth.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Wow, this feels like de ja vu (hope this is how you spell it). I wish I could help, I have been posting myself for the same reasons and now I spend more time stressing about it then living. From what I have gathered from everybody that has replied to me on here is follow your heart and not your head. Your head tells you all the sensible reasons why to stay, good job, home etc but I think deep down there is always that little voice nagging saying this is not my home.

There are a lot of things I don't like about the UK (I go back to visit every year) and where we live now is like living in a very protected bubble so it is very hard to break away from this but I think if we don't do it we will always be wondering what if and be miserable.

My heart goes out to you because you are dealing with everything the same as I am (including the family) and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Keep us posted.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

jeremai:

20 years in Connecticut & 2 1/2 months back here in Cheltenham England & it's the BEST thing I did. Apart from some problems getting a National Insurance # for my American wife (caused by anti-yank DHSS employees) I have no regrets. I don't miss the humidity of the east coast & I sure as hell won't miss the snow (80 inches last winter in CT).

Follow Your Heart.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Very hard decision but just a couple of points I noticed:

If you would have to live at least 50 miles from family, your children will not be growing up with their cousins. Chances are you in contact with the family more now than you would living that distance away.

I don't understand why the need to leave the country cos the in-laws are getting divorced. Yes presumably it's messy at the mo, but that will sort itself out eventually.

You also need to bear in mind your wife's family. You miss yours now and want the children to mix with your relations, if you move you will have the opposite problem with the US relations.

As Merlot said, the grass is not greener, just different shade. Although you have had holidays, you are remembering how it was to live in the UK those years ago. Things change, people around you will have changed.

Try and have an extended holiday over here, perhaps staying in the area you would be living in and see how it is.

You might find it is everything you want and your wife loves it and you get a job easily and everything is fab. You might also find the opposite.

Good luck with what you decide. Britain is a wonderful place, like the US, and like the US is being run by a*s*h*l*s. Life is too short to stay put and wonder, If you moved back, would you be able to go back to the US in a few years time if you wanted to?

So many questions and not enough answers :(

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

......and guess what....another one who's looking to going back to the UK!!

We have been in Oz for 4 years and haven't felt truly happy from day one. Yes, we have some good days, but no where near as many as we had in the UK. We never planned to come to Oz and our circumstances were pretty unusual as we were offered a job in Oz totally out of the blue in June 2001 and were given just one week to make a decision. My first response was "no way - I'm happy here" but then I began to think about how much we might regret not giving it a go in 20 years time, so we said "C'mon, lets do it" and 8 weeks later we were here in Melbourne without knowing a soul. :eek:

We were still unsettled after 1 year and decided to give it another 12 months. After 2 years we felt no different, but the fear of making a wrong decision made us decide to give it another year. At 3 years we were unhappy enough to get quotes for shipping back to the UK, but a last minute change of job and the chance to move to a nicer part of Melbourne gave us a glimmer of hope that things might get better. Now, 1 year down the track and after 4 years in Oz, we feel no different and although we have had some highlights, we can definitely say that more often than not we feel like there is something massive missing in our lives.

Maybe the way we came to be in Oz so suddenly & without any real planning means that we don't have enough commitment to make it work, maybe we have just come to realise the value of true friendships :) (that we gave up on the spur of the moment)...who knows?...but we can't keep giving it another year & another year, as every year we spend unhappy is a year we could be investing into getting back into the life we had before.....a happy one with our friends & family around us.

That all sounds very simple, but of course there are lots of things that we like about the lifestyle here that we won't get in the UK, and this is where the doubts and cold feet start to creep into your thoughts every day. We can't have the best of both worlds and working out what is important to you as an individual is all important. We constantly hear about the people who go back and can't re-adapt to the "old life" and end up saving their arses off to came back to Oz. Reading about other people's experiences of returning to the UK is interesting and gives us some insight as to what we could expect.

Our son is 11 and we need to act fast as he needs to have some stability for his high school years. he likes Oz, but can see that we aren't happy and wants us to do whatever we have to do to be our old selves again.

Can anyone offer any pointers as to the hardest things about going back, and if possible what advice you may have that can help us weather the storm!! :scared:

BB. :)

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Not just thinking we are going home in 2 years, came here with two suit cases each, a few bob, and will return with the same.

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Oh yes....something to always look forward to. Depends on where you live and who you know. But, chances are very great that you will come across some Anti-Americanisms. Jeremai....does your wife know about that?

Re: Thinking about returning (yep, another one!)
 

Firstly i havent read all the posts. But if i was you. I'd forget about it. The UK has changed. Its not like it used to be. Why not look at moving somewhere else? I have lived out and in the UK since 98. I now live in Thailand and have no plans to return to the Uk. When i leave Thailand next year we will be moving to OZ. Mate. All i can say is . DONT DO IT! You will regret it. But if you do. All the best and i hope it works out for you and the family. The grass isn't always greener!