Hi everyone. It's been years since I last posted on here as my immigration was quite a while ago now. I came to the US in 2001 on a fiance visa and have been married to my wife for just coming up four years now. We have been pretty depressed lately and are considering returning to the UK. I never thought I would reach this point as coming here was such a huge event in my life and I said I never wanted to go through all that upheaval again. We have an 18 month old son and another baby due in 9 weeks, so we would be looking to leave towards the end of the year / early next year once we get into the swing of having two kids.

Reasons to go back to the UK:

• Problems with wife's family here (parents getting divorced, etc)
• Family support in the UK (I miss them so much), cousins for the kids to grow up with, etc
• Better public transportation in the UK - I'm tired of the car culture here, having to drive EVERYWHERE
• UK shops, food, clothes, TV, history, etc, etc, you know the stuff!
• Less extreme weather

Reasons not to do it:

• Have a good job here in databases. I have no degree and would normally need one for this job but they saw my potential and trained me on-the-job
• We have spent so much on our house here and it is SO much bigger than what we could get in the UK
• Price of housing in the UK; would probably have to live at least 50 miles from family to afford a place
• Cost, upheaval and emotional drain of moving, especially with two kids
• I do like Baltimore and DC and enjoy photographing the cities

Am I absolutely mad to be considering this? My wife is supportive and happy to move, but I am worried that she will get depressed with all the adjusting (I know from experience how tough it is). Also, worried that I will get depressed myself once I remember all the things I hated about life in the UK and get desperate to get lost in a walking tour of Baltimore snapping pictures of historic rowhomes. What do you all think?

Firstly, just a wish you well as I understand where you are coming from.

Secondly, it is such a personal thing I will minimise my advice, only to say go with your heart. There are no guarantees in life that things will be better but don't regret not trying it.

Remember the age old Forum syaing "The grass is not always greener, just another shade".

Good luck
Merlot

I am so there myself its not funny!.....i am in my 20th year and the yearn for the old world gets stronger, i think you will be fine lots of people i know have gone home and are doing great, just remember its a place where you know how it works even though it changes it is still home

G

another fav saying of mine "same shite, different bucket" ha ha

I read a great quote somewhere on here... "You can never go home again". Don't expect to be able to pick up where you left off. Lots of things will have changed and you'll have to go through a transition period. More than a few of my friends from home left for various far flung parts of the world and all went home again. None of them had any probs settling back in though.

I'm thinking the same way but alas my husband would never leave the US. The one thing that I realise is that big houses, big cars etc., really don't mean a thing is the great scheme of things.

How long have you been away and have you made many visits home in that time?

why dont you go back for a vacation of say 6 weeks and get a feel of the place again. you might hate it. it seems to me that there are more reasons to stay than there are to go back to uk.

things change, so do people. go back for a visit, and then see.

good luck

michelle

Why do you include problems with in laws going through a divorce to go back to the UK, would it not be this time that they may need some support from your wife or is she not close to them? If she is close to them, how will she feel not having their support with the children or are they not the type to muck in? If you can only afford a house 50 miles away from your family, what support would she get in the UK and how often realistically would you see them yourself. Would she be working or staying at home? Has your wife ever lived anywhere but USA? Public transport isn't that great and in some places it can be a pain getting from A to B unless it's a city, so you may have to commute by car anyway, and it can be a nightmare also there. Weather, does it affect you, I hated being stuck indoors at night in winter, prefer the warmer climes.

Try imagining yourself realistically living there, will any possible problems and in reality how much you would really see your family, if you have busy lives.

Could you get over to the UK more and see your family, or alternatively take some time off and see if you both really like it.

Its never an easy decision, some people go back and are really happy and others find they have moved on and are used to a different lifestyle. Only you know what sort of person you and your wife are, and your likes and dislikes. Before you make any decisions go back for a couple of long trips in both winter and summer if you can, as both will give you different viewpoints. I love Uk in the summer, but winter......ummm no.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

He's in Maryland. Winters here on the East Coast make England look positively tropical!

I have been sick of this place for a while now....been here 20 yrs and about 6 months ago the wife was all for it but now she is dead against it and will NOT talk about it........the way it's going I am feeling like I will either string myself up here or go home alone.......I am so down in the dumps it is not even funny....I just want out in the worst way.....I only started going back to the UK about 8 yrs ago on vacations and visits and the more I go back the more I want to be home........go with your heart man if it says yes and the wife is willing then go for it

Oh, Thats sad! I thought you were still preparing to go home. Is there something that changed her mind? If you are feeling so low, maybe you should try to talk about it with her even if she agrees just to see on a temporary basis.I wish you the best.

looks like we are at the same level......i am seriously down too
any specific reasons?
i have mine lets see if they are similar
G

Bloody hell, LOL, that's it, not ever moving there

Howz your relationship with her, are you happy with her, if not why not go. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[QUOTE=garfro]looks like we are at the same level......i am seriously down too
any specific reasons?
i have mine lets see if they are similar
G[/QUOTE


missing my family and just english people in general.....I don't mean to offend anyone here but americans are not the same.......over here it's all about whats in it for ME.....very very tired of the winters in new england and couldn't stand the heat in florida.....actually can't stand the heat here in the summer......the winters are the worst though I could not imagine growing old here and have started to think that it's not far away......there are only 2 people here I could consider good friends in 20 yrs thats pathetic......yes I have many people that I call friends but I know deep down if push came to shove they would not be there for me.......my parents are getting older and maybe needing my help soon....social life here is almost none existant......I miss fishing also which is my hobby but don't do it much here as it's not the same.....oh and I am sick and tired of working my backside off in the heat and cold.......I am in construction and the winters and summers get to me.....besides that everything is just brilliant

not that easy I love the woman she is the best woman I ever met......we have some great kids as well.....she is a great wife and mother but we are just not on the same page here.......whenever we have had a problem in the past we always have talked about it and solved it......she won't talk about this which is sending me crazy I really don't know what to do