Beccarose

First off, please don't think I am a heartless horrible person for what I am about to say...

We are a family of 6- at least 5 of us will be moving. We live in the US.
We have 3 small dogs and a cat- we also have a rabbit, a snake, a fish and a hamster. (yes, we have a zoo! )

When we move:
The snake, fish and hamster will be re-homed. The rabbit will most likely have to be re-homed, although it is my 11 year old daughter's and will be horrible for her I'm sure. Anyone have ideas on how to handle that with her?

The cat is the nicest cat I have ever known or come across- and while I had always felt like we would have to re-home him I am just not sure that's the right thing to do.

Now the dogs- ack! They are tolerable (although one is a true lunatic!), but I can't say I really need to have them around. Maybe 1-2 but all 3? I really don't see how that is doable.

When we move, we will definitely be renting. No way am I moving somewhere again and buying right off the bat, that is a huge mistake. Finding a home to rent with animals is not easy, finding a home to rent for 4 animals is about impossible.
Not to mention the cost of getting 4 animals across the world.
The dogs are a source of joy but they are also a huge source of stress.
I've put my foot down and said not all of the dogs are coming with us- but I don't think anyone believes me or really sees what that means.

What am I supposed to do? I really think we need to re-home at least one of the 4 critters we are thinking of bringing and I am really pretty sure that needs to be the lunatic dog- but no one other than me can picture giving him away. Thing is I really see that as the best thing for him too. He needs people who can give him what he really needs, who can really work with him and really take the time for him. We have 4 kids, work, school, not to mention other animals- I've felt for a really long time that we can't really give him the life he needs, but I am outnumbered on that. What can I do here?

I'm sorry this is so long and again I hope I did not come across as a terrible person- I'm just not sure how to go about this.

Bluegrass Lass

I'm not sure how you approach this with your kids, since we don't have any. Before we moved out of our house, we had 2 cats and 2 dogs. We've had our cats since right after we got married, when they were just kittens. The dogs we brought home much later. My OH was much more attached to the dogs than I was, which made it a bit easier for me to come to the decision. I knew that even if we didn't end up moving across the pond, that finding a place to rent that would allow 4 pets would be damn difficult if not impossible. So my OH and I decided that our 2 dogs had to be re-homed. We decided over the course of a month or so. Unfortunately, I just had to be the bad guy that kept bringing it up until my husband agreed. I'm not sure if that helps you any, but I understand where you're coming from.

dunroving

If the dogs are "tolerable", I'd say the best thing for them and for you is if they were re-homed. The cost and logistical challenge of transporting dogs to the UK is so great that they are probably better off finding a home with someone in the US who will look on them as more than just "tolerable".

Beccarose

Thank you for your reply and for telling me how it was for you. I always find it helpful to know how others handled a situation. I think my situation is a lot like yours in that I guess I just have to keep bringing it up. I don't want to hurt my husband or kids, but I also need to make sure we do what is best for our family. I just can't seem to make them get it.

I should have specified that I am the one who finds them tolerable (most of the time)- they certainly are not like children to me. My husband and children are more attached to them. But I don't think any of our hearts would break without all 3 of them- yes, it would be sad to part with any of them. One of the dogs has been with us longest and is a terrific dog and it's the one we are more attached to than the others. She's the one I can't really see re-homing.

I guess I know what I need to do, but how do I go about it? How do I make it clear that we can't keep all of them? I've said straight out that we can't keep all of them, I've said on numerous occasions that it won't be possible to bring all... no one seems to take me seriously. I've told my husband that we could not possibly bring all 3 dogs with us, just cost alone would be too high and his reply was "cruel"... I don't know what else I can do to go about this, to make them understand.

I know I must sound heartless, I know so many people out there see their dogs as their children, and I get that, I really do- but that's not the case in our family.

Bluegrass Lass

To bring home your point to your OH about the cost, perhaps you could call a few airlines for quotes, and present that to him. That might wake him up to the reality of what it will take to bring them back with you. Are you the UKC or is he? If you are, perhaps you need to also tell him about how difficult it would be to find a rental allowing 4 pets. If he's the Brit, perhaps you need to have him to some research into how many pet friendly rentals there are out there. If you think the dogs just couldn't handle the stress of flying (i.e. if they are high strung or sick often), then bring that up as well.

If you haven't done so already, contact some adoption shelters about help in getting them rehomed, or start asking around to family and friends if they would be willing to take them. We re-homed one of our dogs with the shelter we originally adopted her from. They advertised her on their website, and made the person pay an adoption fee and required them to come to our house to see Sasha so we could meet them and make sure they felt like a good fit.

As much as we love furbabies, if the logistics just aren't going to work, you have to bring your family to a rather harsh reality. But try not to be too brutal about it; keep bringing it up at least once a week or so, start doing your research. And hopefully the constant reminder will convince your husband to see your point, so you both can talk to the kids about it.

Mummy in the foothills

Thats a tough situation and so many animals.
I know we won't be taking our cat, she is not a friendly cat who likes us even though we tried to make her an indoor cat who we could fuss and have sleep on our laps. She has wanted none of it. She comes in rarely and occasionally comes to us to let us stroke or brush her, she spends her time catching mice and lizards and eating them and sleeping in the garage on whatever nest she has made that week, totally ignoring the lovely cat bed.
Dd wanted to take her, and so over the last months we have made sure to keep talking about it, and how Cotton isn't coming with us, she won't like it, she loves the heat and the lizards and living on a big piece of land. She would hate living in a semi with a small garden and dealing with the neighborhood cats. Finally Dd is getting it, she now says if anyone asks that the cat isn't coming she would hate the weather and the small house so she's staying here. Now I'll probably be the one crying over giving her away to another family (she could do with a barn to live in)

siriwanjs

I know it's very difficult decisions to deal with this.? When I married to my hubby and moved to US. I have 3 dogs left behind in my country. I cried everyday and missed them so much. After 5 months we went back and brought 2 of them here with us. The oldest one she's 13 yrs at the time,my brother wanted her and she passed away at age 18yrs old. The 2 (they're couple yrs. then) that we brought them here are still alive and they're 15 and 16 yrs.now. They are my children. In UK I know that all pets have to be in quarantine for 6 months by laws. That's make it's harder for owners to bring them back. The cost for having them on the flights with us is not expensive at all, just 100$ per each. I can feel your pain and good luck for your best decisions.

Bluegrass Lass

The quarantine does not apply to all animals coming into the UK. Depending on the country of origin, and if you follow the DEFRA guidelines, there is no quarantine.

Mummy in the foothills

Flying them back to UK is now a lot more than $100 and they have to be in the hold. I wish it were only $100 I might consider bringing the cat for that. But not for the thousands I see others paying to fly them back to UK.

Beccarose

There is no more quarantine, just have to make sure you are caught up on rabies (which mine are not- we live on an island and rabies does not exist here- must get them caught up) shots.
Unfortunately flying a pet to the UK from the US is actually more costly than flying a person! I see time and time again how people's pet's tickets ended up costing a considerable more amount than their own tickets.

Thanks for all of the replies. I lost it a little tonight and reiterated that the animals will not be coming with us- no wonder no one believes me.

Supernoodles

Now don't think I'm a heartless/horrible person for saying this but I hope once you settle in the UK or buy a home in the UK etc, you don't go on to get more pets to replace the ones you re-homed this time around then maybe next time (there will likely be a next time as dogs & cats can live for 12-15 years easily) you won't have this situation of being the 'bad guy' again.

intant

That's not heartless/horrible at all, you're absolutely right!

Personally, I would have 're-homed' the kids and taken the animals......

Bluegrass Lass

By saying 'next time' you are assuming they will be moving countries again.

That's not a given. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive on this subject since we had to re-home pets, so I might be reading more into your statement that you meant. You make it sound like she is a bad person for saying they cannot afford to bring all of their pets with them. They didn't necessarily know that they would be making this move back to the UK when they first brought the pets home.

Beccarose

Thank you for saying that Bluegrass Lass- I really appreciate it. I was feeling a little sensitive over the reply too. As was pointed out, pets can live a long time, life and circumstances change, surely there plenty of people out there who needed to re-home their pets when they moved...
Helpful suggestions and support go a lot further than judgements.

siriwanjs

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when I brought my dogs here was decade ago. That's price was from Thailand to US. It would be cheaper if your pets travel with you on the same flight. It's cost more if you ship them. I understand your situation and do your best whatever you have to do, re-home is the best option at least you find the good homes for them.