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Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Old May 22nd 2019, 7:15 pm
  #13066  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by shelley748 View Post
I am still here lurking- still in Ontario- have not closed the door on going back at some point BUT it depends on what happens with the Brexit fiasco. Very concerned about lack of policing in the UK and "hate crime"- seems not enough police people and they spend more time looking on Social media for Hate crimes than going out in the real world stopping crime.
Where I live in Canada, we do not have the level of crime seen in the UK. It is a major concern to me. Other concerns- healthcare- again NHS overwhelmed- okay so Canada is also having health crisis but nothing like the levels of UK- so we wait and see what happens!
Got to say neither of the concerns you've mentioned are an issue where I am. I rarely lock my doors, pretty much never lock my car on my driveway, and the NHS has been nothing but amazing to us here. Pick your area wisely and you'll be fine.
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Old May 23rd 2019, 10:29 am
  #13067  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Great to hear this, christmasoompa.
As Christmasoompa says, pick your area wisely. I agree, it will vary from area to area...and even within areas. Where I am, some parts of NHS care I've personally experienced have been fantastic, others less so. The system does need overhauling in a major way. But it's still wonderful to live in a place where the first question on seeking health care isn't "Do you have insurance?" Similarly, some police work has been brilliant—busting a 'county lines' drug ring, for example. But resources are too tight for proper community policing, as police commissioners nationwide have been lamenting.

But in the end, it seems to me, these issues shouldn't necessarily be the ones that make the decision. Once a would-be returner has answered the bottom line question: have I the financial resources to move to, and survive in, the UK? in the affirmative, it seems to me that the emotional, harder-to-measure issues should be seriously factored in. What were the reasons I missed the UK, and couldn't stop longing to go back? As I've said, for me they are mainly what you might call emotional: I missed the landscape, the way the seasons are, skyscape, culture, architecture, British sense of humour,newspapers and magazines, being surrounded by history (a very big one)....and now that I am back, I have an enormous sense of underlying wellbeing and contentment because I feel I am in the place where I belong. You can't put a price on that! The sad aspects—shocking decline of bio-diversity in flora & fauna since my childhood; problems in health care; problems in keeping up with crime; current government paralysis—are outweighed (for me) by what remains. For example, my continual wonder at the glories of cathedrals and villages and landscape and the changing sky, and the songs of the robin and blackbird, still to be heard, thank goodness; and the greenness....all of this is with me every day.

In the end, as has been said before on this thread, though it can't be said too often: an expat has to look at exactly why s/he misses home; and to give a weight, as much as possible, to things that can't easily be weighed or measured. How much does it matter to you —speaking generally, not just to Shelley—to be here, rather than wherever you are now? When you visit—and visiting before deciding is important it you haven't been back regularly—what is it you love? what don't you like? and which has more weight emotionally?

If you stay where you are and "wait and see what happens," might there come a time when one has waited too long and it's no longer possible to return, for whatever reason--age, health, expense, changed rules, property prices even higher and thus prohibitive?? And might one then bitterly regret it? Is there ever a "right time" if a person really longs to come back and doesn't feel like her/himself being in another country, however well-adjusted??

But. All that said, I'm lucky enough to be able to live in a nice area, which I am sure makes an enormous difference.
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Old May 24th 2019, 12:15 am
  #13068  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

between two worlds - nicely put thank you for the inspiration. So close I can almost feel it now, the wind, the sites, the sounds.
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Old May 24th 2019, 6:28 pm
  #13069  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Thanks for the reply- very insightful. We are both going back in September for a visit to see elderly father for one. I don't actually feel like I belong in the UK or Canada, somewhere in the middle of the pond lol. We are content for now and once we are retired we intend to travel southwards and do some rving for the winters. Once we get too old to do that, I think that's when we will review matters once again.
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Old May 25th 2019, 12:33 pm
  #13070  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

A trip back—apart from personal visit, that's always useful to help work out how you think/feel. And post-retirement going southwards and rv-ing in the winters sounds like a good plan!
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Old Dec 5th 2019, 4:55 pm
  #13071  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Hm, seems as if this thread— for many years so helpful and such a support especially for those moving back to the UK a bit later in life—is petering out. No-one has posted here since my last post, above, six months ago. I don't come here as much as I used to (suddenly realised with a jolt that I've been on BE for ten years!!!!! ) since I've now been back six years....

Just bumping it up in case any new members are interested. I suppose because it's in The Rovers Return, people don't find it as easily as they would if it were on the general Moving Back to the UK page. I know why mods moved it here—because there was a lot of chit-chat and catching up between friends—and it's true that if you want to find specific answers of particular dilemmas, there's a lot of reading and sifting to do. But it was a great source of emotional support for many....

Hope all are well, and those who have been longing to get back to UK have managed it...or if not, are at peace with the outcome.
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Old Dec 5th 2019, 5:16 pm
  #13072  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Hi Between two worlds,

I miss the chat on this thread too. Hope everyone is doing okay?
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Old Dec 5th 2019, 7:36 pm
  #13073  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by between two worlds View Post
I suppose because it's in The Rovers Return, people don't find it as easily as they would if it were on the general Moving Back to the UK page. I know why mods moved it here—.
I will move it to the UK Moving Back area for a while. No problem.

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Old Dec 5th 2019, 10:24 pm
  #13074  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Oh that's great, Bevs. Maybe it will be discovered by more over 40s who are thinking of moving back and want to discuss the issues....
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Old Dec 15th 2019, 10:08 am
  #13075  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Bumping this up once more in hopes it might re-awaken....here's a question for Shelley748:

What did you think about moving back, after the September visit to Dorset that you mention was planned, above?
I have looked briefly at your posts since then on other threads but couldn't find whether they helped you consolidate your feelings about whether or not to move back...

I do think visits back, when possible, are a very important part of the decision-making process...

I wonder how many others have found that a visit or visits back to Britain, after a long time away, shifted their ideas....either towards "Yes, I really do want to love here again," Or, "No, I don't think I'd like living here now" ?

For me, every visit back to see my family reinforced my desire to come back properly myself, and live here. Not just because of family members, but also because of the place.
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Old Dec 15th 2019, 7:49 pm
  #13076  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by between two worlds View Post
I do think visits back, when possible, are a very important part of the decision-making process...

I wonder how many others have found that a visit or visits back to Britain, after a long time away, shifted their ideas....either towards "Yes, I really do want to love here again," Or, "No, I don't think I'd like living here now" ?

For me, every visit back to see my family reinforced my desire to come back properly myself, and live here. Not just because of family members, but also because of the place.
Morning from NZ.

We are hoping to make a good visit back to the UK this coming year 2020. I haven't been back in ten years now and himself hasn't been back in around3 years I think. It is such a lot of $$ to make any sort of visit from NZ which is why the many years gap.
Our good friends are still there and we are all still in touch. Some best friends here are moving back in just a few weeks time. Same neck of the woods as my home turf. Dorset and surrounds.

I feel the place will be the same. The good friends will be the same , just a little older like us. I am far less certain about the UK as a whole now. In particular the NHS. We are used to the quick easy healthcare access here in NZ . Husband thinks it could be all too busy but our friends moving back say it is about picking the right spot.

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Old Dec 15th 2019, 8:33 pm
  #13077  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Great to see this post from you, Bevs! I've been on British Expats a long while and have seen over the years your wistful comments about returning.
I didn't realise you hadn't visited in ten years, but I totally understand why not, with the distance and expense. Of course these visits I so blithely suggested are hard for many people, especially those in NZ and Oz.

I hope you have a wonderful visit! Dorset and surrounds...gorgeous.

The UK as a whole...hmm. Yes, the NHS is having problems and many have found it far from "quick and easy." Others report having excellent treatment. It seems to depend very much on what resources are in one's particular area.

For me, the desire to come back was compelling and overwhelming....others will be able to more cool-headedly weigh up the pros and cons, perhaps!
Whatever happens, I hope the visit is great, and it helps you reach a decision (if that's its purpose).
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Old Dec 16th 2019, 12:02 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by between two worlds View Post
Bumping this up once more in hopes it might re-awaken....here's a question for Shelley748:

What did you think about moving back, after the September visit to Dorset that you mention was planned, above?
I have looked briefly at your posts since then on other threads but couldn't find whether they helped you consolidate your feelings about whether or not to move back...

I do think visits back, when possible, are a very important part of the decision-making process...

I wonder how many others have found that a visit or visits back to Britain, after a long time away, shifted their ideas....either towards "Yes, I really do want to love here again," Or, "No, I don't think I'd like living here now" ?

For me, every visit back to see my family reinforced my desire to come back properly myself, and live here. Not just because of family members, but also because of the place.
hi there

actually the sheer number of people living in my old home town has put me off moving back to that area. I am horrified by the congestion everywhere, a simple trip out seems to take forever, and then parking is another matter. I found staying in my Dads house very noisy, traffic, people etc...guess I am spoiled living in country here.

between two- hubby and I are not in any hurry to move back, we are both in our 60 and want to do some traveling in retirement in North America, so once we have finished that we are going to review things.

i am put off as well by the reported quality of healthcare and lack of policing, maybe Boris can do something! Time will tell.

Not planning on going back next year, maybe the year after.
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Old Dec 16th 2019, 10:40 pm
  #13079  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Very interesting, Shelley. Yes, some parts of the UK are really congested..I can see this would have been disconcerting if you live in the Ontario countryside.

Travelling in retirement—sounds like a plan.

As you say, time will tell, and maybe after you've got the travelling out of your system, you'll have more of an idea of what you want to do next...

thanks for the update!
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Old Dec 16th 2019, 11:15 pm
  #13080  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by shelley748 View Post
hi there

actually the sheer number of people living in my old home town has put me off moving back to that area.
I find that really interesting. I wonder how I will feel when we make our visit. Will I see wall to wall people and cars or will I feel home.

I am thinking we can get back hopefully around September time. I've wanted to go back to the UK for so long now that it sort of becomes a worry to see it after a decade away.
Hopefully it will feel like a comfy old slipper.



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