Originally Posted by beth1979

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in. I'm moving to Suffolk (am a Brit) after 20 years Singapore and 10 in Canada. How do you find settling after such a long time. I'm looking forward to it, but must admit I'm a wee bit scared Beth

Originally Posted by sallysimmons

Hi Beth and Cardienscarf and welcome!

I do think it's a good idea to save up a little back-up money as it's very hard to come home and start again when you have nothing. That said, I also think its important not to wait too long if you don't have to.

Life has a way of throwing surprises at you and I think Trotty, who started this thread, is a good example of that. I hope she doesn't mind me talking about her, but after waiting and waiting to come home, and then putting her house on the market and it not selling for years, and then finally dropping the price and selling it, she fell ill and still hasn't been able to leave.

Also I know our good friend Fish was about to leave America when his parents got ill and he was forced to stay. He also hasn't been able to leave yet.

Finally, my SIL who is 50 suddenly became ill with a rare brain disease. She went from being a busy mother and career woman to being invalided at home with all kinds of physical problems. One day she was healthy, the next her life had changed forever.

These stories spurred me and my husband on and made us determined to get home as fast as we could once the decisions was made. We did save up some back-up money first - I wanted to save more but I just didn't feel we had the luxury of time.

So I don't really know what I'm saying except don't make plans thinking that life goes on forever just as it is today. If you know you want to come home, see what you can do to make that a reality sooner rather than later (for example, if you can work overtime, or take a second job, or marry a millionaire () do it!)

Originally Posted by jasper123

feelbritish,
What you say here makes a lot of sense,
Timing is so important, everyone has to pick there own time to come home, all our circumstances are so different from each other, but we all share the same desire to come back home to our roots, our home, this special place where it all started, where we were born and where we have all our memories of growing up,
When we are in our adoptive countries living our life, and the years seem to go by so quickly and suddenly we see ourselves getting older,
With me I woke up one morning and I was in the bathroom shaving and I looked at my face and realized I was now 64, well I came to the U.S. when I was 29 and I thought about that Paul McCartney song (will you still need me will you still feed me when Im 64) well I dont know why but at that moment I decided to come home to England, I still had some family left in UK, none in the US,
I wanted to come home and spend some time with my Mum she is 93 now,
but I needed to wait one more year until I became 65 because I did not want to come home if I had to join the masses of unemployed in trying to find a Job, too many hardships and problems, especially when your older, I wanted to come home and be retired from then on,
So I had a year to plan my move, I did though later regret waiting that year as after I came home only two months went by and my Sister passed away of lung cancer, exactly one month after her 69th birthday, but altough she was living in a different part of U.K. I was able to see her a few times, im thankful for that,

(WELCOME to the new people cardienscarf and beth1979)

I wish you both lots of luck in your preparations to come home, there is a lot to do, and a lot we have to think about, the best way and what I did and many others have done is make a list of EVERYTHING that has to be done before you can leave to come back home, and tick each thing off one at a time as you go through the list, I found my hardest chore and most time consuming was declutering!!!! sorting through all the stuff that we all have collected through all those years,
put everything in 3 piles, one pile to keep and take with you, this should indeed be the shortest pile possible, you have to be quite ruthless in what you keep and chuck,
then the 2nd pile for all the clothes and stuff you want to donate, and finally the 3rd pile for stuff that you may want to try and sale or give away to friends,
and then whatever is left over and you feel is just a whole lot of junk that you have had for years that means nothing to you, well I had a lot and just tossed it all!!!!

But there are a lot of things to do, and you will find that your (to do) list gets even bigger as you think of other things,
you see its such a permanent move that you just cant afford to forget anything, cause when you finally get on that plane and wave good bye to a place that was indeed your home for a very long time ---- your mind needs to be clear, and you are confident that you can now look forward to the long flight being over ----- and as you look down at the lovely green green grass of home, the U.K. countryside as you come closer and closer to land and you think WOW Im actually home, and home for good this time ----- not just for a holiday no more tearful goodbyes, your home for good!!! oh what a feeling that is, and you really dont get that feeling until your plane touches down on British Soil

I felt it was important for me to apply for American Citizenship before I came home, funny really, waiting till I decide to come home to do it, I mean I waited 36 years, kind of makes you think that although you regarded it as your home and all those years you were reasonably happy but still stayed in a green card status, so maybe back in our minds we always knew it really wasn't our home at all, just somewhere where we hung our hat for a good part of our lives anyway I just think that we all need to keep that option open, where we can always come back anytime, after we give it our best shot and if it just dont work out here in U.K.
cause you never know do you, nothing is ever forged in stone, things happen, we may change our minds no matter how sure we are when we get on that plane,
So for that reason I feel it is important also to not burn any bridges, and I keep an American bank account open,

and also I still keep my U.S. drivers licence re-newed,

and also to have a really good friend in U.S. to agree for you using there address as your U.S. mailing address,

and keep filing your U.S. taxes every year, even if like me you owe nothing, you can do that free on line from the main U.S. IRS site,

And before you leave make sure you go into your Bank in U.S. and talk to a supervisor and tell them you are going to be living overseas for a while, then make sure they enter that info into there system, otherwise if you dont do that when you try and use your debit card in U.K. you will find that your account will be blocked for your own protection, a problem you will not want to deal with as soon as you come back home.

and when you sell your car make sure you dont forget to take your licence plates back to DMV and show them proof of the sale of car to prove you no longer own it, all this has to be logged into there system, and make sure they do it!!!!

There is so much more you have to do before leaving, and a lot of these things can only really be done in the last few weeks or even days before you leave the country, and because of that it all can feel very mind boggling even though you are ticking everything off your list as you go, you think to yourself what if I forgot something important to take care of? and then the emotions start to kick in as you think about what it all will be like when you come home, life can be very hectic in the last few weeks or days before you make your carefully planned departure.

But hey when you are home and you start settling in to your new life you will find that all the work you did to make this all possible was certainly worth it all, and you will feel free and as you slowly get into your life over here you will I think, as I did, feel a deep sigh of relief that (YOU REALLY DID IT) ---- and you will feel very happy and contented as I do,
I am just coming up to my anniversary, next month will be my first two years at home, I think I will take Mum out for a nice dinner somewhere nice and celebrate
Good luck everyone!!!!
Rodney.
PS and yes as feelbritish says you really do need to get your finances sorted out, it is very important to really think and work out the minimum amount of money you will need to get established here, i.e. if you have to find a flat or house to rent, how much will you need to have, even finding a place temporarily to live in the area that you want to settle in, rent isn't cheap here, and if you have no income and need to find work, you will need a good 6 months at least of rent money, remember finding a job here is just as hard as finding a job in the U.S.
life here would be real tough with no money in your bank account, especially if you have no friends or family here, and you are entirely on your own, you and your partner, yes there is a safety net here provided by the UK government, but if you have no money saved you will feel a lot more lonely here, and you will be unhappy with no security,
Dont get me wrong anybody, Im not saying that everyone needs £100k to come home with but if you dont have family over here to put you up for a while until you get on your feet and you are compleatly on your own then I feel that you would need at least £5,000,much better if possible to have £10,000, Ihad a place to live where I did not have to worry about rent ---- so I was very lucky but I still had $5,000 to come back with, about £3,000 or so,

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

Family, friends, a bit of countryside, the sea, a job that doesn't sap me dry, a good local pub. Sounds lovely to me

Originally Posted by feelbritish

Cardi, we were in Essex on holiday in May this year, staying in the countryside near Halstead and loved it. Our family is based there but of course closer to London and tbh that was the Essex I remember (almost an extension of London) and I never did like it but once we stayed in countryside and our gps sent us on some wonderful trips around the small villages like Finchingfield and some others that my OH had never heard of, we thought it was really nice. Beauty of Essex is that it has a huge variety of houses and prices and good connections to London and other larger cities for jobs plus the beaches are also close by.

Originally Posted by feelbritish

I know the feeling, I am also impatient and my OH is helps me be reasonable and will not budge on our returning date, when he retires! So I am being patient. As If and Curleytops say, planning is important and we have already been selling stuff on Craig's list - amazing what people will buy - and I am also starting to scan all photos and docs onto disks. Just planning to go back keeps me happy at the moment! And chatting on these boards

Originally Posted by lf1

Hi Tina,

do you drive in France? The area that I am in doesn't really have a lot of traffice, relatively speaking. The closest town has one traffic light! I need to get used to the scale of the road & cars. Passing on two lane roads is one of my least favourite things to do, but I am getting better at it and I am also managing a decent speed on the country roads. Dreading the day when I have to hit a pheasant rather than cause an accident. I wish they had more road sense!

Originally Posted by bandrui

Hi fb, Wondered what kind of scanner you used for your photos? I have a scanner but the thought of doing them one by one is a bit much. I was thinking of looking for a photo scanner that will take a stack at a time.

Originally Posted by between two worlds

I don't drive in France--we live in the middle of a city, so I don't need to usually, and when we do go on trips, my husband drives, because the company car is a manual! And in the States all those years I only drove an automatic.

This sounds wimpy, I do realise. But I learnt to drive later in life--in my thirties-- and was never that confident.

Sounds as if you're doing great!

Tina

Originally Posted by bandrui

Hi fb, Wondered what kind of scanner you used for your photos? I have a scanner but the thought of doing them one by one is a bit much. I was thinking of looking for a photo scanner that will take a stack at a time.

Originally Posted by islandwoman120

Finally got out and about and took some photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/islandw...7631528688765/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/islandw...7631810897924/

Originally Posted by Cardienscarf

Hello Sally,

I've been reading and catching up on your blog for the last couple of weeks - nice to 'meet' you now! I love the area you are in - not that I know it very well. My son has a good friend from uni who lives outside Harrogate and we stopped overnight there last year driving from Scotland to Essex. I fell in love with the landscape.

I definitely don't want to wait for a crisis on either side of the pond to make me stay or go. My eldest son's bother-in-law was killed in the Aurora Theatre shooting in July and, before I knew he was involved, I thought - right Matthew, we are out of here. Then, when I called him to make sure he was safe I found out Alex was missing, things took a different turn.

Originally Posted by bandrui

Hi fb, Wondered what kind of scanner you used for your photos? I have a scanner but the thought of doing them one by one is a bit much. I was thinking of looking for a photo scanner that will take a stack at a time.