Cardienscarf

I just hope I can keep a level head and wait for the right moment. I do want to get my ducks in a row and, from what I've read here, it seems getting the finances in order is important. Sigh!

lf1

Hi Cardienscarf and welcome to the forum. I have to just reinforce what Curleytops said, start preparing now. Your move may seem a long way off, but the time just seems to slip by and before you know it you are on the move. Decluttering and scanning documents, photos etc is a good project for the winter months and I wish I had started when he intially started our move back in earnest, rather than a few months before the move.

We started thinking about moving back around 2008. I think it had been lurking in the back of my mind for sometime, but I always found reasons why it wasn't possible. In 2010 OH and I decided that we would move in two years time and that is what we did. Those two years flew by, which is something I didn't expect to happen. This forum has been a great help and it helps to know that others are experiencing the same feelings as you. I couldn't understand why my life in Canada has been fairly happy and now I wanted to move to the UK, but the more I have spoken about moving back to friends, the more I have realized that they want to do the same.

We have been back since the middle of August and things are going well. I have felt a bit displaced at times, but I think time will take care of that. One of my fears about moving back, silly as it may seem, was driving in the UK. I have taken some driving lessons and I am slowly but surely gaining more confidence on the road. I mention this to illustrate that some of the challenges we face moving back can be overcome.

I haven't had a chance to read your other posts, but did you get the answer you needed re transferring your funds?

Best of luck with your journey. We'll all be here to help you along the way.

feelbritish

I know the feeling, I am also impatient and my OH is helps me be reasonable and will not budge on our returning date, when he retires! So I am being patient. As If and Curleytops say, planning is important and we have already been selling stuff on Craig's list - amazing what people will buy - and I am also starting to scan all photos and docs onto disks. Just planning to go back keeps me happy at the moment! And chatting on these boards

between two worlds

Cardienscarf, a welcome from me too.

It's so interesting how many people over 50 find their longing to return to the UK becoming more and more intense, sometimes to their own surprise...

If1, I too am scared to drive in the Uk and don't know if I will at all! It's not silly. I admire your taking the lessons and overcoming the fear.

Tina

feelbritish

Between two Worlds, you are so right about over 50's longing to be back especially in cases like my OH and I - we have no family here in Canada and suddenly as we get older, we fear that we may end our days in a country miles away from our loved ones!

beth1979

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in. I'm moving to Suffolk (am a Brit) after 20 years Singapore and 10 in Canada. How do you find settling after such a long time. I'm looking forward to it, but must admit I'm a wee bit scared Beth

between two worlds

Hello Beth, welcome!

I haven't settled back in to the UK yet, though I go there quite often as I'm closer now than when I was in the USA. Others will have to report on the settling back process (and many have, in other threads on the forum).

But being scared is completely normal, that I know! Especially if it's something you've wanted for a long time....the fears are that it won't be what we hoped for.

I think it does help to have been back for visits in the interim, so it doesn't all seem to strange when you go back to live there.

Tina

curleytops

Hi Beth and welcome. You've not long to go now and it's perfectly normal to feel a bit scared. In the weeks leading up to my move 18 months ago I was worried about not feeling scared enough if that makes any sense. We are now in the midst of a move to North Yorkshire from Kent and I have to say there's been more stress involved in this move than the big overseas one. You will be fine once you're on the plane. All the best.

beth1979

Thank you so much. Its weird I have handled many overseas moves in the last 30 years, but this one (maybe the anticipation of going home) has been more emotional. I am sure once I am on the plane, I will be just fine

Cardienscarf

Thank you for the encouragement! And congratulations on being home! Can I ask why you decided to give yourselves 2 years to plan your move back? I can understand why someone close to retirement would wait until they've retired but I have a way to go before then and the thought of waiting another 2 years makes my stomach churn.

I've read about people getting their finances in order, and I"m wondering what that looks like. I'm way behind on the savings and retirement curve, so I'm not exactly sure what the right time financially for me would be.

All my family is there except my eldest son and I still have many friends there so I'm happy to know I will have people I already know and love. My biggest thing is what I will do for work. I know the situation over there isn't brilliant and I'm sure it doesn't get better for the over 50's. Makes me wish I'd put more effort into my education than I did partying in my youth! I probably spent as much time partying and hungover as it would have taken to become a rocket scientist!

jasper123

feelbritish,
What you say here makes a lot of sense,
Timing is so important, everyone has to pick there own time to come home, all our circumstances are so different from each other, but we all share the same desire to come back home to our roots, our home, this special place where it all started, where we were born and where we have all our memories of growing up,
When we are in our adoptive countries living our life, and the years seem to go by so quickly and suddenly we see ourselves getting older,
With me I woke up one morning and I was in the bathroom shaving and I looked at my face and realized I was now 64, well I came to the U.S. when I was 29 and I thought about that Paul McCartney song (will you still need me will you still feed me when Im 64) well I dont know why but at that moment I decided to come home to England, I still had some family left in UK, none in the US,
I wanted to come home and spend some time with my Mum she is 93 now,
but I needed to wait one more year until I became 65 because I did not want to come home if I had to join the masses of unemployed in trying to find a Job, too many hardships and problems, especially when your older, I wanted to come home and be retired from then on,
So I had a year to plan my move, I did though later regret waiting that year as after I came home only two months went by and my Sister passed away of lung cancer, exactly one month after her 69th birthday, but altough she was living in a different part of U.K. I was able to see her a few times, im thankful for that,

(WELCOME to the new people cardienscarf and beth1979)

I wish you both lots of luck in your preparations to come home, there is a lot to do, and a lot we have to think about, the best way and what I did and many others have done is make a list of EVERYTHING that has to be done before you can leave to come back home, and tick each thing off one at a time as you go through the list, I found my hardest chore and most time consuming was declutering!!!! sorting through all the stuff that we all have collected through all those years,
put everything in 3 piles, one pile to keep and take with you, this should indeed be the shortest pile possible, you have to be quite ruthless in what you keep and chuck,
then the 2nd pile for all the clothes and stuff you want to donate, and finally the 3rd pile for stuff that you may want to try and sale or give away to friends,
and then whatever is left over and you feel is just a whole lot of junk that you have had for years that means nothing to you, well I had a lot and just tossed it all!!!!

But there are a lot of things to do, and you will find that your (to do) list gets even bigger as you think of other things,
you see its such a permanent move that you just cant afford to forget anything, cause when you finally get on that plane and wave good bye to a place that was indeed your home for a very long time ---- your mind needs to be clear, and you are confident that you can now look forward to the long flight being over ----- and as you look down at the lovely green green grass of home, the U.K. countryside as you come closer and closer to land and you think WOW Im actually home, and home for good this time ----- not just for a holiday no more tearful goodbyes, your home for good!!! oh what a feeling that is, and you really dont get that feeling until your plane touches down on British Soil

I felt it was important for me to apply for American Citizenship before I came home, funny really, waiting till I decide to come home to do it, I mean I waited 36 years, kind of makes you think that although you regarded it as your home and all those years you were reasonably happy but still stayed in a green card status, so maybe back in our minds we always knew it really wasn't our home at all, just somewhere where we hung our hat for a good part of our lives anyway I just think that we all need to keep that option open, where we can always come back anytime, after we give it our best shot and if it just dont work out here in U.K.
cause you never know do you, nothing is ever forged in stone, things happen, we may change our minds no matter how sure we are when we get on that plane,
So for that reason I feel it is important also to not burn any bridges, and I keep an American bank account open,

and also I still keep my U.S. drivers licence re-newed,

and also to have a really good friend in U.S. to agree for you using there address as your U.S. mailing address,

and keep filing your U.S. taxes every year, even if like me you owe nothing, you can do that free on line from the main U.S. IRS site,

And before you leave make sure you go into your Bank in U.S. and talk to a supervisor and tell them you are going to be living overseas for a while, then make sure they enter that info into there system, otherwise if you dont do that when you try and use your debit card in U.K. you will find that your account will be blocked for your own protection, a problem you will not want to deal with as soon as you come back home.

and when you sell your car make sure you dont forget to take your licence plates back to DMV and show them proof of the sale of car to prove you no longer own it, all this has to be logged into there system, and make sure they do it!!!!

There is so much more you have to do before leaving, and a lot of these things can only really be done in the last few weeks or even days before you leave the country, and because of that it all can feel very mind boggling even though you are ticking everything off your list as you go, you think to yourself what if I forgot something important to take care of? and then the emotions start to kick in as you think about what it all will be like when you come home, life can be very hectic in the last few weeks or days before you make your carefully planned departure.

But hey when you are home and you start settling in to your new life you will find that all the work you did to make this all possible was certainly worth it all, and you will feel free and as you slowly get into your life over here you will I think, as I did, feel a deep sigh of relief that (YOU REALLY DID IT) ---- and you will feel very happy and contented as I do,
I am just coming up to my anniversary, next month will be my first two years at home, I think I will take Mum out for a nice dinner somewhere nice and celebrate
Good luck everyone!!!!
Rodney.
PS and yes as feelbritish says you really do need to get your finances sorted out, it is very important to really think and work out the minimum amount of money you will need to get established here, i.e. if you have to find a flat or house to rent, how much will you need to have, even finding a place temporarily to live in the area that you want to settle in, rent isn't cheap here, and if you have no income and need to find work, you will need a good 6 months at least of rent money, remember finding a job here is just as hard as finding a job in the U.S.
life here would be real tough with no money in your bank account, especially if you have no friends or family here, and you are entirely on your own, you and your partner, yes there is a safety net here provided by the UK government, but if you have no money saved you will feel a lot more lonely here, and you will be unhappy with no security,
Dont get me wrong anybody, Im not saying that everyone needs £100k to come home with but if you dont have family over here to put you up for a while until you get on your feet and you are compleatly on your own then I feel that you would need at least £5,000,much better if possible to have £10,000, Ihad a place to live where I did not have to worry about rent ---- so I was very lucky but I still had $5,000 to come back with, about £3,000 or so,

sallysimmons

Hi Beth and Cardienscarf and welcome!

I do think it's a good idea to save up a little back-up money as it's very hard to come home and start again when you have nothing. That said, I also think its important not to wait too long if you don't have to.

Life has a way of throwing surprises at you and I think Trotty, who started this thread, is a good example of that. I hope she doesn't mind me talking about her, but after waiting and waiting to come home, and then putting her house on the market and it not selling for years, and then finally dropping the price and selling it, she fell ill and still hasn't been able to leave.

Also I know our good friend Fish was about to leave America when his parents got ill and he was forced to stay. He also hasn't been able to leave yet.

Finally, my SIL who is 50 suddenly became ill with a rare brain disease. She went from being a busy mother and career woman to being invalided at home with all kinds of physical problems. One day she was healthy, the next her life had changed forever.

These stories spurred me and my husband on and made us determined to get home as fast as we could once the decisions was made. We did save up some back-up money first - I wanted to save more but I just didn't feel we had the luxury of time.

So I don't really know what I'm saying except don't make plans thinking that life goes on forever just as it is today. If you know you want to come home, see what you can do to make that a reality sooner rather than later (for example, if you can work overtime, or take a second job, or marry a millionaire () do it!)

J.JsOH

Hello Beth,
There has been a transition period for us settling back into UK after being away a long time.
Some things here have not matched up to what we experienced abroad but we avoid comparing.
It is what it is here and we have learned to focus on the positive and disregard the negative. After a while now we begin to accept or not see the negative we saw when we first came back.
This is just the same as our approach to living abroad.
There is a lot here to be enjoyed.

John

lf1

Hi Tina,

do you drive in France? The area that I am in doesn't really have a lot of traffice, relatively speaking. The closest town has one traffic light! I need to get used to the scale of the road & cars. Passing on two lane roads is one of my least favourite things to do, but I am getting better at it and I am also managing a decent speed on the country roads. Dreading the day when I have to hit a pheasant rather than cause an accident. I wish they had more road sense!

lf1

The two year plan was more my OH's desire than mine, but I didn't want to push to move sooner as I thought it would be best for us to feel that we are doing this together rather than one pushing the other. I know him too well and waiting has certainly made the transition for us easier, but that may not be the case for others. During that two year period, we set up an HSBC bank account and started transferring some of our savings into Sterling. We wanted to take advantage of the favourable exchange rate, that until recent years had never worked in our favour.

Only you can decide how long you want to wait and although 2 years seems like a long time, it did fly by. I can't believe that I am actually living in the UK, as it seems like yesterday when we decided to make the move. It is difficult to decide when to go and giving up a good job/income is a tough decision to make. As others have said, having some money behind you will certainly help the transition.