HI NIkki

I am going to phone Dore Primary on MOnday to see if they have places. I just dont know when we are going home beacause of this house sale. I am so loathe to stay here any longer than we need to but I desperately want to buy when we get back and not rent as we will not be renting out our property here and will still have to pay the mortgage.

I am dying to get back though good luck

Nicola

Hi, just joined BE yesterday as I am 90% decided to move back to sunny sheffield in June. I've been living in the Canaries for 17 years (!) and sadly, my relationship with my partner is practically over and my mum at home is seriously ill. I'll be moving back with my 10 year old and I'm scared stiff of sending him to an inner city school after hearing all the stories of stabbings, bullying etc. We've been in a safe area, wrapped in cotton wool and sunshine and the thought of being a single mum without an income is daunting to say the least. I could always stay here, nice little house, safe school, jobless, bored and unappreciated?? I'm hoping to get some encouraging replies to help me decide!
Cheers, Sali

Welcome Seahorse I am sure it must be very daunting especially being away so long form home. there are some lovely places and schools in the UK, yes some horrid ones too but if you choose where you live you will maximize your chance of finding a good school. A reasonable starting place is having a look at league tables for SATS in primary and senior schools try www.timesonline.co.uk Having said that there are some good schools in innercity areas so just do some research on the area.
What area are you looking at moving too.

Hi Tillysmum and thanks for replying. We will be staying with my parents at first in Sheffield 5 (where I was brought up). The area has changed so much and the schools too, with immigration being a big problem. However there are 1 or 2 schools which sound ok and have good Ofsted reports. Ive heard that I can send my son to any primary, regardless of area, but I won't have any transport at first. Everything depends on whether I can find work, then I would be able to rent an apartment in a different area. My son is not streetwise at all and doesnt see the bad in anyone, that's why I worry about him - I'm afraid I'm an overprotective mum!
Most people will think I am mad. Here I am in the Canaries, the sun is shining, I don't work and I have a roof over my head. My OH is not horrid, he's just a workaholic and doesn't have time for us. I'm worried I may be making a big mistake!

Hi Nicola

It's bank holiday in England on Monday so they won't be there! One of our good friends in Sheffield is a solicitor who deals mainly with conveyancing and he thinks property pricing will probably continue to fall for the next year. Property on the Dore/Ecclesall side of town is holding up better than the rest due to the good schools but even it is slowing down so hopefully you will still be in a good position to buy when you eventually move back. We're commited to our rental in Whirlow until mid-Nov but will probably extend it beyond that unless we find a complete bargain to buy. Can't say I'm looking forward to living in a tiny semi again but it was the only rental in the whole Silverdale catchment area available!

Good luck

Nikki

If that's the only problem, you probably are making a mistake. I'm no marriage counsellor, but people have turned situations like that around. Try this mental exercise. Imagine you could wave a magic wand and create two times a week that the whole family got together and had fun. It could be a sporting activity, or a family movie and pizza night, or some project you all worked on. Anything that has you all happily together for about 3 hours twice a week.

Now, would that solve everything, or are you coming up with other problems lurking underneath?

Might help clarify your mind. Might not, of course!

Bev

Hi Bev, tried the 3 hours together scenario. After 1 hour, I reckon we were bickering and after 2, his mobile rings (its work). I guess there may be something a bit more to this!

I talked to him and he's not prepared to change his job or cut his hours and agrees that things cannot go on like this. I am also resentful because I gave up my job to look after our son and I would like a stab at the job market before I'm past it. It's sad that he seems to have chosen his job over us but I am worried if I wait any longer our 10 year old will not fit into uk schools and I will have missed the boat a bit workwise, NI payments wise etc, and will be left without a pension. I am dependent financially on him and if we split up later on, I would not have any income here in Spain. Anyway, I'm going on a bit now, I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do!
Sali

Hi, I am not in a situation like yours but I know a few people who are and it does seem to be a bad circle so to speak...one friend is only with her partner (she loves him but not enough to put up with things any longer) one lottery win and she would be of of there (her words) it is financial that is keeping here there and also the worry of being her children....if you could would you stay in the Cannaries? do you want to return to the U.K? if you can answer those questions then take it from there....if you want to stay and don't think your marriage will work then you have to take that next step...your OH does not seem to think there are too many things wrong with your marriage as most people would try and "fix it".....and he does not seem to be "flexible" to your suggestions......if you do not think there is as future in your marriage but you want to stay in the Canaries then go and talk to a solicitor.....but try again with your husband....tell him this is where it might "end up" and show him you mean it...not to threaten him...just be truthful.....if at the back of your mind you don't really see a future with your husband and you are homesick then that is another path.....there are good areas in the U.K and not all children are street wise....my young nephews and neices are certainly as nice as the children I know here in Perth......good luck and take your time......

Hi, thanks for your ideas and support. I have tried to talk to my OH today (I grabbed him on his way out to work) and he still says that we should separate as there is no solution, i.e. he won't change his job (7am to 10pm or later) and that I will keep on being unhappy. I've been miserable for some years now and have hung on in the hope that things would change and also for the sake of our son and have suggested many times a separation in the hope of shaking the OH up - he's always said no to it before, but nothing changed. I think it's going to be very hard for my ex (?) when I take his son 4500 miles away but if he is prepared to give us up for his job, then I can't do any more. My OH is the typical Spanish macho man who won't show his feelings and is now giving us the cold treatment, hardly spending any time at home and even eats his lunch in the kitchen away from us! I think this is some kind of defence mechanism to protect himself. And, no, I don't think he's got anyone else - he's always contactable where he says he is etc. etc.

I have flights booked for 2 weeks' time - we go to the UK anyway every summer but this time I haven't got returns. I wouldn't stay in the Canaries anyway. I only stayed here because I worked in a travel agency here, fell in love with him and that was it! It's far too hot for me and there are no decent jobs in this area and it's a bit third world.

I suppose everything points to a return to the UK. Yes, I have been homesick and knew things weren't right but didn't want to break up the family. I am lucky that my parents will put us up until we get on our feet but it is very scary, 'tho exciting!
Sali X

Oh good luck I'm sure you and your boy will be fine. At the end of the day its your life too and it sounds like you are all stayed out

You cannot do anymore in my opinion to help save your marriage as it is at present....we all need to be happy at some stage in our lives and from what you have said you have sacrificed your happiness long enough, maybe given time your OH might realise just what he is going to miss but you need to think about your happiness and your sons.....the U.K is not very far from the Canaries and flights are "cheap" enough for your husband, you and your son to see each other. Give yourself some "kind time to yourself" while at your parents, take things slowly and just look forwards when you need to...sometimes we all look to far forward and that can be scary...just one step at a time...who knows what the future will bring but if you are excited about it then that is a good sign......
All the best and take care

Emilylots, nicola411, denzil75........
Oh how I wish I were strolling around Fargate, stopping at Gregg's for a pasty and at Thornton's for a little bag of vanilla fudge.
I do love Sheffield (but I don't really miss it's "seven hills").

Ditto.

Welcome to BE.

I know what you mean about the hills! Where we live at the moment is a lovely quiet 'flat' sub-division and my girls are out cycling most evenings - don't think they will be doing much of that back in Sheffield.

I'm looking forward to pottering around Fargate again - the only thing I used to hate were the women with clipboards conducting surveys who always tried to pounce on you with dumb questions! Hoping it is going to be summery enough for the girls to splash around in the fountains in the Peace Gardens while I munch a pasty from the cornish pasty shop opposite followed up with a vanilla slice - well moving country is stressful and the weight is just dropping off!

Nikki

Hi, I'm moving back to Sheffield too. (June 17). I'm going back as a single mum (I'm cried out so making the best of it) but have my family and a new life to look forward to. I'm looking forward to strolling around Sainsbury's, taking my son to Millhouses park, the old Heliport at Shirecliffe and, yes, Fargate. (What is it about Fargate?).

I love to mosey around Campo Lane and Chapel walk but I'm not looking forward to being blown down the Moor by an icy wind and driving rain and having to dive into Debenhams!

Sali XX