As the title says. Years of moaning, ugly divorce, child in US (preteen). Now great job offer UK. Counter by US employer = very attractive. All things being equal without child would be off like a shot..

Think I have my decision just curious on advice, if any. I believe its not a 'wobble' but a desire to see child grow up.

Oh my vikingsail, I am on my way out the door but just had to get this ball rolling!. I am sure there will be many posts to read by the time I get back.
TOTALLY understandable. Had a major wobble last night re my 21 year DD. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Have one or more of these

This is going to be so hard for me to write down.

My husband and I made a migration decision based upon my teenage son. I was the custodial parent, so that was huge in the decision making factor. And...teenagers are different than preteens. Supposedly they have "less time" still in the nest.

Shortest version of this story - we made the right decision for our family. Meaning we believe we did right by my son. But it was the wrong decision for my husband. At the end of the day it may end up being the wrong decision for our financial well being also.

Our situation probably isn't at all like yours. My husband faces serious medical issues that will make it difficult for him to live in the US. But it is like everyone else's decision in that no one has a crystal ball and knows what their life holds.

A person has to make decisions they can live with.

As Perth has said....totally understandable, and a decision only you can make, and it sounds like you've made your decision ! Life sometimes put a crossroad in our way...but no matter which direction you take you will always find yourself heading in the right direction in the end !

So obviously you came to some life changing decisions within the last 3 days, especially after posting that you were ticket hunting on the 3rd? LOL

Parents always try to do the right thing for their children...but just make sure the decision is the right one for YOU as well. But we're all there for you, no matter what. Have a stiff drink and hang in there !

Lets just say I am living two tracks in my life, feel like I'm going crazy but things are beginning (don't hold your breath) to firm up More a case of I don't know if I can leave that which I cherish so very very dearly - child.

You're not going crazy ! The UK will always be there to welcome you with open arms when the time is right. Cherish every moment with your child, because too soon they're all grown up with families of their own and often too busy for their parents.lol.

I stand on the opposite side of the fence from everyone else on this issue, I think. I still say you should go to the UK. Your son/daughter existed when you made your original decision and that was the right decision for "you". And unless you have custody, how much will you really see of him or her? I understand your wanting to see your child grow up, though.

I think it's natural to rethink the decision right before you leave, especially where a child is concerned but I still think you need to make the decision for "you".

And sometimes too busy with their own friends and lives even when living with parents.

Yes I have to agree on that one !

As a possible counter to your very understandable wish to spend as much time as possible with your child - I think having a parent in the UK would be so beneficial to your son/daughter. Think of the holidays you could have together, being just a hop, skip and jump from so many wonderful places. You could talk daily on Skype and so be in touch with everything that's going on in his/her life.

Just another viewpoint, go with what's right for you!

rebeccajo - you're a trooper xx

Hugs.. difficult decision and yes it can make you feel like going crazy. As someone else said, the UK will be there when you are ready.

My son isn't terribly supportive of his mother living in the UK. He talks about any children he might have missing out on time with their Grandmother.

I told him I thought the kids might think it was super cool that they got summer trips abroad instead of camp like all their friends........

Seriously though - if vikingsail has the funds to allow for frequent travel, he might find in the long run that returning to the UK is best for both himself and his child. Who has thier crystal ball lit up?

Very tough decision, not sure which side I'd choose to be honest. The desire to see my child for a few hours a week verses living where I love, and seeing them a couple times a year for a longer period.
Depends, how would the mother and child feel about the child spending a month or three in UK each summer? Would she prevent you spending chunks of time verses a few hours a week. I think if you get on with the Mom you should sit and talk about visits and what could happen first before making the decision.

If you find one of those crystal balls, could you pick me one up too?

My decision to move to the UK with my UKC husband would have been a lot harder if my (adult) kids hadn't decided they needed to 'take sides' in their Dad's and my divorce. Dad 3, Mum 0.

I think it is a very hard decision to make but I am in favor of VikingSail going to the UK. It also gives his child access to some wonderful education possibilities in the UK - university, etc.