How to cry?
Nov 3rd 2008 | 1:21 pm
#46
Retired
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,646
Re: How to cry?
Hello All,
Thanks for all the replies, it's been a rough weekend.
Firstly a few people have mentioned going for citizenship, I've only had my GC for about a year now and so that's at least 4 years till I can apply and then probably about a year in the application process. In the meantime I would have turned 40, my parents 70, neices and nephews into their late teens. 5 years to me at the moment sounds like a lifetime and and that missed time won't come back.
I spoke to my wife.. There were a lot of tears, mainly hers. I explained the situation and she listened and cried. We talked, held each other, talked and cried.
She said that she had seen a change in me in the last couple of weeks and was waiting for me to bring it up. She understands why I want to go back, she's a gentle soul and scared about living in the UK, especially now that she has got used to the US.
I think that we still have a way to go in discussing things as she is more thinking along the lines of a year, whereas I'm thinking about a few months.
Reading around the subject.. it does look like we'll be burning the bridge of coming back when we leave. Especially as when we apply for a settlement visa for my wife, that could be seen as intent to live permanently abroad.
In a way both my wife and I think that if we do move back to the UK, that's it. We should settle down and be done with it.
I don't want to be at work today, but have to be here.
I think that it's been said many times before moving country is a huge deal and something that you need to understand why your doing it. Looking back on it, I made a mistake moving out to the US.
Thanks for all the replies, it's been a rough weekend.
Firstly a few people have mentioned going for citizenship, I've only had my GC for about a year now and so that's at least 4 years till I can apply and then probably about a year in the application process. In the meantime I would have turned 40, my parents 70, neices and nephews into their late teens. 5 years to me at the moment sounds like a lifetime and and that missed time won't come back.
I spoke to my wife.. There were a lot of tears, mainly hers. I explained the situation and she listened and cried. We talked, held each other, talked and cried.
She said that she had seen a change in me in the last couple of weeks and was waiting for me to bring it up. She understands why I want to go back, she's a gentle soul and scared about living in the UK, especially now that she has got used to the US.
I think that we still have a way to go in discussing things as she is more thinking along the lines of a year, whereas I'm thinking about a few months.
Reading around the subject.. it does look like we'll be burning the bridge of coming back when we leave. Especially as when we apply for a settlement visa for my wife, that could be seen as intent to live permanently abroad.
In a way both my wife and I think that if we do move back to the UK, that's it. We should settle down and be done with it.
I don't want to be at work today, but have to be here.
I think that it's been said many times before moving country is a huge deal and something that you need to understand why your doing it. Looking back on it, I made a mistake moving out to the US.
You'll get a lot of advice but only you and your wife can make the right decision for your own future.
Many people in your situation go "home" and never look back. Others return and have the proverbial "what was I thinking" moment when they discover the reality of day to day life isn't for them.
Maybe you're at the point where you need to at least try, as opposed to waiting 4-5 years for citizenship. If you do, I would strongly recommend you get a re-entry permit, keep as many ties to the U.S. as you can, and keep filing your U.S. federal taxes. At least until the point where you know you've made the right decision. Try to do that within 6-12 months, while there is still a reasonable chance of returning to the U.S.
Do take into account the coming recession in the United Kingdom, and the fact that many of the U.K.'s social problems are now worse than in the United States. If being close to family compensates and more for that, then you probably should return.
Even for those with dual citizenship, constantly moving back and forth is an expensive hobby. Sooner or later, you almost certainly need to decide where you want your permanent home to be.
Nov 4th 2008 | 5:46 am
#47
Thread Starter
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 456
Re: How to cry?
You'll get a lot of advice but only you and your wife can make the right decision for your own future.
Many people in your situation go "home" and never look back. Others return and have the proverbial "what was I thinking" moment when they discover the reality of day to day life isn't for them.
Maybe you're at the point where you need to at least try, as opposed to waiting 4-5 years for citizenship. If you do, I would strongly recommend you get a re-entry permit, keep as many ties to the U.S. as you can, and keep filing your U.S. federal taxes. At least until the point where you know you've made the right decision. Try to do that within 6-12 months, while there is still a reasonable chance of returning to the U.S.
Do take into account the coming recession in the United Kingdom, and the fact that many of the U.K.'s social problems are now worse than in the United States. If being close to family compensates and more for that, then you probably should return.
Even for those with dual citizenship, constantly moving back and forth is an expensive hobby. Sooner or later, you almost certainly need to decide where you want your permanent home to be.
Many people in your situation go "home" and never look back. Others return and have the proverbial "what was I thinking" moment when they discover the reality of day to day life isn't for them.
Maybe you're at the point where you need to at least try, as opposed to waiting 4-5 years for citizenship. If you do, I would strongly recommend you get a re-entry permit, keep as many ties to the U.S. as you can, and keep filing your U.S. federal taxes. At least until the point where you know you've made the right decision. Try to do that within 6-12 months, while there is still a reasonable chance of returning to the U.S.
Do take into account the coming recession in the United Kingdom, and the fact that many of the U.K.'s social problems are now worse than in the United States. If being close to family compensates and more for that, then you probably should return.
Even for those with dual citizenship, constantly moving back and forth is an expensive hobby. Sooner or later, you almost certainly need to decide where you want your permanent home to be.
If we do decide to go back we need to find out from immigration here, that if my wife applies for a settlement visa for the UK, would that be taken as her intent of living outside of the US permenantly, hence losing her GC. Of course just one of us having a GC wouldn't do much good.
Being close to my family at the moment seems to me to be what I want and my wife understands the reasons why.
Also my wife and I really want to make the decision that we are going to be settling down somewhere with the best of intentions and not be looking over our shoulder and say we can always go back.
From what I have read, there is a procedure to give up the GC and both my wife and I think that if we do go back to the UK we should think about doing it after jobs have been found.
...writing it out like this things seem to be clear, however sitting down with my wife and thinking about this, it doesn't seem clear at all.
Nov 4th 2008 | 7:01 am
#48
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 577
From: Poland
Re: How to cry?
hye feel so sorry for you as i was just the same when we arrived in nz for our big adventure. My oh was very understanding but didnt really know what i was going through. We came in May and went back in December for holiday which hepled a bit but its now 2 years since I have seen my daughter and i am missing her like mad. We are going back at xmas and i am not coming back. As much as anything else i havent been able to get a job. My oh is coming back while we sell our flat. he will return when its sold. It was so upsetting at first no friends or people to talk to but as soon as we decided to return i have felt so much happier within myself i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What is now worrying me is will i get a job on my return? will my friends be there for me? how will my daughter feel about me staying with her until bill my oh returns with the cash? Its all the uncertanties in reverse and i find myself going from excitement to anxiousness all in one day. D other people who have returned or who are returning feeling the same. I know that returning is the right thing for me but why have i now began to feel that nz isnt that bad after all. Hopefully some people will reply to this thread thanks for all for reading it.ps not too sure how to start a thread please could someone write how to for me.
Be mindful, unless you are an exception, looking through many cases like yours on this forum: the habit of craving for "the other place" does not die when you have moved.
Nov 4th 2008 | 7:28 am
#49
Retired
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,646
Re: How to cry?
From what I have read, there is a procedure to give up the GC and both my wife and I think that if we do go back to the UK we should think about doing it after jobs have been found..
Nov 4th 2008 | 8:00 am
#50
Thread Starter
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 456
Re: How to cry?
You'd need advice from an immigration attorney, not "immigration". However, I would point out that even if your intent to spend time in the U.K. was temporary, a spouse visa would still be needed.
There is such a process - I407 - but it's irreversible if you later on change your mind. If you reach the point where the GC is effectively gone, ie you no longer live in the United States or spend time in the U.S., you might then want to formalize it. But not until you are well settled in Britain and your wife at least has permanent resident status, if not British citizenship.
There is such a process - I407 - but it's irreversible if you later on change your mind. If you reach the point where the GC is effectively gone, ie you no longer live in the United States or spend time in the U.S., you might then want to formalize it. But not until you are well settled in Britain and your wife at least has permanent resident status, if not British citizenship.
The spouse visa is what my wife needs if she is staying for anything more than a visitors visa. My fear is that, this will be seen as a clear intention of living abroad and specifically outside of the US. Of course, as you say, we should consult with an immigration attorney.
About keeping the GC till my wife has permanent resident status or citizenship, isn't that impossible? For example as the moment, she needs two years presence in the country for ILR and the US re-entry permit only allows up to two years. Of course, this could change next year and the time to achieve UK permanent residency or UK Citizenship could be even longer.
