Homesick - does this stop?
 

I came here on a K1 visa, I feel like I'll never settle in or find people I can get along with. Did you guys feel this way? Did things change?

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

There's tons of threads on this topic if you do a search.

But sadly for some no and others like myself love it, are you working yet that helps the sadness.

How long have you been here?

:D

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

i am not able to work for at least 90 days. i've been here since april 17th and there have been complications. i just feel like i'm not getting any satisfaction and therefore feeling increasingly resentful towards my husband. meh.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I went through that a bit to start, hated not being able to work drove me insane, your in a nice place Seattle try and get out every day even just for a walk, spend more time on expats lol it does help, it got me through the 1st few months.

Have you ever been away from home before for a long period of time?

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

yeah i've backpacked around europe for month and i spent 3 months in seattle in 2006. i'm just so bored! i'm not in central seattle so its hassle to get there as i can't drive yet and the place we live is super super boring lol

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

The world will change for the better once you get your drivers license and a job. Heck it does that for a native born American. Just give it time. It's a good thing that you are in Seattle because it's got so much to do. You'll never run out of stuff to do.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Well then its chat shows,new cooking ideas,say hi "I am.... to the neighbors go introduce yourself, you will be a hit straight off guaranteed with an accent, get hubby to have some friends over with thier wifes to meet some new faces, they might have down time during the week to do things with you.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

yeah you're right. i just don't feel like i even want to bother. i've met a load of people and none of them have been 'to my taste'. maybe i should just get myself home!! before my $1080 gets processed.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Good god girl thats a bit drastic, I met a few I did not like the red neck family I married into primarily the inlaws were ok and 2 sisters the rest OMG I lived the life of Jerry Springerville.............hence I am divorced now they were all totally nuts.:lol:

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

wow but you stayed in the usa??

i guess i had a really brilliant life at home. my husband and i where apart for 13 months and now its just a bit of an anti climax.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Alert! Alert! Alert! Problem found!

You MUST drive here in the US. What's stopping you? You can drive using your UK drivers license. You can rent a car.

Not working, and not being able to get out and about, is an absolute recipe for disaster.

I wasn't homesick when I got here and have never been homesick. But then, I haven't been bored once since the day I arrived!

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Hope things pick up for you. Stick with it, eventually you will have more good days than bad, then you know you are over the hurdle. Just dont put too many expectations on you or your new life. Take it day by day and try and meet each day with a fresh and positive outlook.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I most certainly did we split a few times but I loved the old rogue to bits in the beginning but he had issues that were never going to change and I decided to make a go of it on my own and someone must be looking down on me because I have been very successful and count my blessings every day, but I worked very hard to get where I am today, I have no regrets :)

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

i might be able to get my permit on monday. then i have to learn. i'm 22 (last month) so i have never drive before. it took forever to get proof of address.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Although there are other measures and factors, I'd say personally that being busy (which loosely and roughly translates to being employed) and challenged is a key factor in being happy here (well, anywhere, I guess, but if you are suddenly transplanted out of your comfort zone, being busy and challenged gives you the fulfillment you need).

If you do a search of BE, you'll find that most of the unhappy souls are in your exact situation - spouses, unable to work, didn't particularly want to come here in the first place, etc. The ones who are most happy came for a job, wanted to come, and are busy.

Do you have a job prospect in your near future?

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

no i can't get work for at least 90 days

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I'd say enjoy it. When you begin working you'll wish you had that much time off.:D

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Forgive me if I am out of order but if you came in on a K1 I thought that gave you the right to work immediately :confused:

Not very up on the K1 visa.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

have to file for an adjustment of status and get a green card in the mean time (which takes 90 days). it's rather awful!

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I do hope things improve for you. You had a 'brilliant' life in ... (Manchester)? You are 22 and not used to driving. You probably left a lot of good friends behind. The only reason you came here is for a guy who probably swept you off your feet a few years ago and is now probably busy working all day, happy to be back in his home environment, oblivious to your predicament.

You were here before, though, in Seattle - did you like it then?

What was so 'brilliant' about your life before? Did you have a great job? What were your prospects? a great apartment? Did you live at home? A great bunch of friends?

In my case, I grew up in Lancashire (which holds no good memories for me) but moved to London for college and then stayed for a job. I had a 'brilliant' life in London - great friends, loved the city to death, but - after college (uni), my friends started drifting away and I found myself not meeting new people. I then started looking to buy a flat but I didn't have enough money ... the future started to look a whole lot less 'brilliant' once the fun life of university started to fade and the realities of the working life set in. Then I found myself over here, where the working life was infinitely more exciting and challenging, and the income was far higher, allowing me to live in a more comfortable environment. And I fell in love with the Bay Area - the weather, the atmosphere, the people.

What is it about the people here that you are not liking? I enjoy the people here more than the people in UK; they are, on the whole, more optimistic, positive, and friendly. Yes, the optimism can be a bit much some times, but which would you rather have - an overdose of optimism or an overdose of cynicism/negativism, which is how it is in England. Actually, to refine this statement, I'd say - I like 'being surrounded by' Americans more than I like being surrounded by Brits. In terms of actual friends, I'd still count some of my old college buddies as being the best. But get 5 brits in a room and I start to feel depressed ...

All I can say is, think about not only what was happening to you before you came here, but what were your prospects at home, where would you likely be in 5 years, and ... is there nothing about Seattle that appeals to you? I found Manchester to be wholly unattractive, and liked Seattle much more on a few visits (though the weather is not much better!).

If all else fails, go home for a few weeks, see how you feel after a quick return visit. I found that each return visit strengthened my desire to stay in the US.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

i'm not going to be allowed to re-enter america for another 90 days minimum. thanks for the encouragement. i think it's just a tough time right now. i miss my friends and having control over my life. i'm sure i'll make friends here and regain control via getting my licence and working. i think the real issue is that i'm still not sure this is the right decision, and i guess thats something only i can figure out. thanks for all the help.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Ah to be 22 again, :) . The world's your oyster kiddo, good luck.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

There are an awful lot of people here, I'm sure you will eventually find some you like. :)

I am wondering if you're really happy to be with your hubby now though...

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I have found that American people are different to people back home.
What is your taste in people? You said you haven't found any to your taste.Well neither did I until I went looking for them.
I live in the most redneck town going, complete with churches on every street corner and bible bashers in your face.
Even here I can find Pagans, Buddhists, assorted New Age people who are similar in personality to myself, who wont immediately judge me or call me Satanic (unlike most Christians I have met.... grrr....).
You need to look for the sort of people you like to mix with. I'm not into NASCAR, or country music, or church, or anything to do with Jesus. I would never be seen doing a line dance, or eating gumbo, or driving a big rusty pick up truck.
But then, I'm moving back to the UK, but that's not to do with the people here, I'm starting to "get" them now. It's more to do with the people I left behind. It takes time.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Agree with you 99% - but you don't know what you're missing with gumbo!

Mmmmmm....

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Hey, I'm in really good shape-- I'm 22 two and a half time over!

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

What you've described is pretty much the South. Where the OP is it's very different from where you are. You'd probably fit in more with Seattlites and West Coasters more than you do currently with the Southerners. There is a more progressive vibe there. Most of the West coast feels that way. It has a more liberal approach to things which is quite refreshing. Having said that she will still run into the stereotypical American but not too many of them.

Oh Emma M, PLEASE try Gumbo before you go back to the UK. Gumbo served over rice is heaven. You can't really duplicate the Cajun taste that well outside of the South. Plus it's what I call a definitive soul food dish. Just one bowl will do you.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

I can... I can do it... I can make it. Mmmmm....

Big hassle though :)

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

It is a big hassle. It's one of those foods of love that take bit of time to make in order for it to turn out right. I'm talking an hour or more at least. What kind of gumbo do you make? I love shrimp gumbo with crispy okra.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

It can take up to an hour just to make the roux.

I usually make shrimp & andouille, although you can add any sort of seafood.

First, I have to order shrimps with heads. Use the heads and shells to make shrimp broth. Then the roux... then...

Hours. But MMMMMmmmmmm....

oh yeah - there is okra and other veggies in there, of course.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

It shouldn't take but a few minutes for the roux. That's the flour and fat mixture base that you brown first before adding liquid in sauce making.:p

BTW, that sounds heavenly. To bad I can't be arsed to make it. I did it twice just to add some techniques to my repertoire. I'll most likely order it at a restaurant or get it already made at the market and add a bit more heat to it myself.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

LOL yes it does sound like the deep south I lived there, but believe me it also accounts for the midwest alot of places I lived just outside Peoria and its red neck everything the OP discribed lol..

What is that deep fried stuff that looks like loads of sqwigels and is sweet I believe, tastes vile the yanks love it :)

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Yeah, admittedly a lot of my experience here has been to do with where I am in the US rather than a problem with the US as a whole, plus personal circumstances (and we all know how those affect judgement of EVERYTHING in your life).
If I had been fortunate enough to have lived elsewhere in the US, I reckon I would have had a much more positive experience, but I wasn't meant to stay here. This was all a huge life lesson, I know that.
I will be returning to the UK a much stronger person than I left as, and I believe I needed to be right here in the south to learn that. Anywhere else, and it might have been so good that I would have stayed ;)

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Yes, I know what the roux is. And to make proper roux for gumbo generally takes around 15 minutes, but depending upon humidity etc. can actually take up to an hour (which is really really annoying). Especially as you have to stir the stupid stuff the whole time. Roux for a normal sauce is just lightly browned - but for gumbo etc. you have to get it to almost a chocolate color - sloooowly.

It is a big project - not something I do very often.

To the OP - sorry to derail your thread - perhaps the answer is to try some gumbo ;)

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and you are young... I hope things improve for you.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

There are lots of parts of the US I would not care to live in either. The south, and small midwest towns being incuded.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

The Midwest is a whole other beast entirely. That's why I wanna move.:D It's too laid back to the point where ideas are too. There isn't any progression. Don't get me wrong, there are a few pockets of progressive thought but you have to be close to the city center to experience that. That's where more of a transient population resides.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Yep I agree I am sorry to say this but I disliked Chicago area and I lived in Naperville for a while it's too boxy as I call it, like another London.

I was in Louisiana for a while lovely people there, very genuine and kind but too woop woop for me..

Virginia I love with a passion and then Cali I guess speaks for its self, I also like Texas.

Even where I am now is very country orientated we have cowboys and the such like so many ranch's you cannot keep up with them, but so much more within 30 mins either way its perfect for me for others maybe not so...

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Found it BARF URGHH this is revolting..

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

A funnel cake??? I love those things. They are rich but if you get one that hasn't been left in the oil too long then they are heaven. It's like eating a large powdered donut with a much lighter texture.

Re: Homesick - does this stop?
 

Mmmm funnel cakes.

About once a year - and must be just out of the fryer.