Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

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Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Hi Brits 1 - We had a good life in the UK and have never been negative about it, the kids were doing well so what the hell were we thinking??? However we were all willing to give it a go, keep an open mind which is some ways we are still trying to do despite whats happening in the hope that something will click but much as it pains me to say we now realise just what the UK means to us. I think that should we stick it out for say 2 years plus, then it would be extremely difficult to return due to timings with education for the kids, picking up business contact again etc etc. A song is coming to mind 'Its now or never.........'

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

:)

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Gilly65, in the [Calgary] O&G industry, you don't always get the chance to negotiate.

In this case there was also a personality clash (me thinks) with said Program Mgr. I had come up with some ways that they could improve their processes, all of which were taken on board and used. I received much praise and admiration from co-workers about it, and at the time the Pgm Mgr. None of them had the balls to say anything during the workshop.

The next thing I know, having said that I prefer to get my work done in 8hrs, and be more productive at it, as opposed to the 12 hr/7 day a week regime we were subjected to (N.B Proj Mgmt had under estimated their resource requirements and admitted to this), little did I know that I would be fired a couple of weeks after for having made that comment - I think this was the reason. They wanted 'yes' people/door mats who would just get on and shut up.

As it was, the Pgm Mgr was schizo, you never knew what direction she would come from next ..... nice one minute, down right crappy the next.

A lot of contractors at various O&G companies I have worked at in Calgary say it isn't even about how good you are at your job, if a Manager decides they don't like you, thats it, you're out the door. Its that fickle here.

I have heard some grusome stories from people, and I mean shocking about the Calgary O&G underworld.

For example, one ex co-worker was let go by the company she was working at. She had just taken out a mortgage which the company supported and encouraged, before she got let go, and they lost everything - BTW, she and her husband have 5 children.

Next thing, her previous Mgr at the same company offers her position back if she'll sleep with him - TRUE STORY.

P.S They actually tried to screw me over financially but I got every penny back that I had earned. It took a week of hard negotiations to get that money back. They (the Client) wanted to see my overtime hours which I duly sent, they then proceeded to question everything on my invoices and timesheets.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Pretty ruthless job market over here don't you think. OH has been speaking to some who say 'its not what but who you know, and they want yes people'. On one of your other posts I saw the discussion about the lack of thinking outside of the box, perhaps thats the reason why, they need yes people. My eldest has commented on the way things are taught here, in the UK it was all about critical thinking skills and thats why he is finding it frustrating here as he always wants to speak up and put forward another 'view' on things.
It all seems quite controlled.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Ruthless job market? - YES, VERY.

And you have to watch your back, and don't assume that because people smile at you, they like you.

Oil companies don't give a S*** about you, and fellow contractors/co-workers (as I have experienced) are all too happy to throw you under the bus when up against it.

3 or 4 times now I have experienced people (in my own team) putting blame on to me and cc'ing everyone in their email.

I am NOT trying to make myself out to be the victim here, just that there are people who have been around a while in this town who will do just about anything to make someone else look like the incompetent one when actually it is THEY who are incompetent.

Oh, and I forgot to mention the allegations of bullying by a few of the Project Team members concerning a female Project Manager.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

I'm glad I saw this thread as it's doing me no end of good reminding me of all the reasons I left Canada (6 months ago). Takes me back to my own situation a couple of years ago endlessly going back and forward about whether or not to go back to the UK now or stick it out a bit longer.

I'm afraid Geordie lass that returning is not always so simples either, I said almost exactly that when we left little realising that the UK I was leaving would not be the same one I returned to (ie the recession etc)

In the end we bit the bullet and came back and while hand on heart I can say that there's nothing in Canada that I really miss other than some of my old work colleagues I'm not sure we did the right thing in coming back right now as we have really struggled to find work and when I think about all the money we have spent doing this it brings me out in a cold sweat:eek:

OH says that we would have always wondered and that we needed to do it to get it out of our system and he may well be right. Maybe one day I'll look back on this as a big adventure when I've gained some perspective.

Sorry not to be more helpful OP got a bit caught up in my own woes there :o

Maybe your kids will feel better if they have a time line to going home and you can look on the next few months as a way to make the most of the time you have left there and try and fit as many trips etc as you can. We had some fab trips to the states during our last year which we wouldn't have otherwise made and had some really good memories/photos to take back with us. Good luck in whatever you decide,

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Well, that particular company I got let go from insisted that all new starters do their 'Integrity Training' course. In other words it was compulsory.

However no integrity was demonstrated by those in positions of power.

Once again, the injustice.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Thanks Bettyboo. As we haven't been away from the UK for long we know exactly how the land lies there. We'll set up the business again, OH has already been speaking to contacts. Yes we have 'lost' out financially but as your OH said it was something we felt we had to do and give it a go. As I have said before I think you have to shut off from UK friends and family to a certain extent which we can't do.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

I didn't mean it was simple as in easy. I meant once a decision is made it's then just finding a way to reach the solution you want. I know emigrating and deciding to come back is a very difficult decision. :)

OP- Have you decided what to do yet? did your SIL coming over help at all? Hope you are all ok. :)

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Thanks Geordie Lass - we're OK. Had a good time when SIL visited although it cost us a small fortune. We are planning our return and getting the wheels in motion. We can't get out of our rental early without paying a huge get out clause so OH is going to stay on 'til the summer whilst I return to the UK with youngest as she needs to get back into UK education sooner rather than later. Eldest is starting sixth form in September. We had some bad news last night regarding the health of a close family member which has put everything into perspective somewhat. No regrets, just moving on to where we know we should be.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Sorry to hear about your family member. :(

Well... at least a decision is made - which might have been one of the hardest parts of the process. That's good that you have no regrets - at least you tried it so that's something.

All the best - hope it's not too hard going home without your OH.

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Likewise gilly, so sorry to hear about your close family member. Thinking of you guys......

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Thanks Ally and Geordie Lass. This forum is great for support and advice from people who are going, or have been, through similar situations and feelings. Keeps me sane knowing its just not us. Cheers everyone....

Re: Help needed - when do you say enough is enough?
 

Nope, you're not alone. And to think we're the lucky ones.....