m100

every one is in bed by 9!!


So true!

username 34

okay - I have a question to ask ... (and before anyone goes all mad this is not a critisism of Tracey coz we get on very well in the cyber world)

you left Oz as the unhappy part of the family, all the others were very happy, now the tables are turned and they are unhappy and you are very happy.

in terms of the 2 countries have you approached things differently?

do you expect them to come back to the UK and get on with it and it will all settle down and love it again. Was that put to you in Oz in the same way and it just didnt happen obviously.

what if they do not settle down and have the feelings in the UK that you did in Oz

I wonder if the expectation of returning expats to the UK isnt too high - the family will just settle back in and get on with it, whereas if you were faced with the same attitiude in Oz/Canada/wherever it was a concept that you couldnt rectify .... settling was just never going to happen.

if you get what I' trying to say its hard for my brain to work this time in the morning (its 11am, officially daybreak )

merleoberon

obviously i cant answer for tracey but it is a reasonable question and one that haunts me should we return to england. is it alright to be miserable here (AUSTRALIA) and know within weeks that things will never be okay yet it takes time to settle back into UK? people who post on here saying they dont like it and want to go back to UK are told trust your instincts but if you go back to UK and are unhappy they say ....... it will take time to settle etc

i am in two minds about going back - dont love it here but dont hate it and dont particularly love UK but feel homesick and missing it. **** knows what is the right thing to do ..........pass me more booze!!!!!!!

TraceyW

It's a fair question and it has a simple answer: our children's happiness is paramount. I will do whatever it takes to make them happy.

username 34

being an expat can for sure be hard - I cant and wouldnt judge those who return or ping pom as I havent walked in their shoes. Now you have the big dilema, you've tried both sides of the coin ..... which one is best for you all.

hope all works out Tracey, you guys all deserve it, and kudos to the dh - he put family before himself and came home, plenty of other partners who havent.

pommybird

Oh Tracey my love - I guess what you have described in this thread is almost inevitable - you were in Perth for 4 years - there is going to be a huge period of readjustment for you and the children and it's NOT going to be all plain sailing!! You are bound to go through that constant comparison with the life you had back in Perth and question whether it was the right move to come back - I feel I know you a little bit through this forum - and I can identify with you so much - you are a perfectionist like me - you want it all to be right for the kids and you want everything to slot into place NOW!!

Well I learned when we came back from Perth it just doesn't happen like that - there will be hard times for all of you - you knew before you moved back that the UK has it's problems but you wanted to come back anyway - warts and all - remember why you came back - because you love Engalnd and you want to here - does that still ring true??

For me having been back for over 2 years now I know it's not perfect and yes there are kids about that are right little sh*ts - yes the school system has it's flaws etc etc but to me it will always be home. Would I ever go back to live in Perth?? Not in a million years!

As for your little girl - she's 7 - she maybe unhappy now but in a few weeks she'll be just fine.......and stop loading on the guilt - she has a Mum who loves her more than anything else in the world - I know how much you agonised about this move because of the kids - you have NOTHING to feel guilty about - your daughter is very lucky to have such a lovely Mum as you.

You keep your chin up love - I know it will be alright - because I've been there and come through the other side - and you will tooxxxxxxxx

northernbird

I agree with Pommybird it will just take time. It took my Katie at least 6 months when we returned from Canada. She felt the same about school as your daughter. Once we had a few friends made it started to become a little easier. She was never overly enamoured with school in the UK but we didn't have the tears everyday after a while.

Margaret3

ohhhhhh tracey, big hugs, but your stronger than you think, stick it out, dont rush into any 'guilt' return trips, you gave oz three years, commit to the u.k for same and i bet in three years time we wont hear from you at all on here, you'll all be too busy with life in the u.k.

love margaret.

TraceyW

Thanx

I did marry the best, that was one decision I did get right. I would do exactly the same for him as he's done for me.
Time will tell here.

pommybird

Morning chuck, the sun is shining here in Dorset and we're off on the school run now, just wanted to say hope today is a better day for you all, as you say time will tell, main thing is that you are all together, take carexx

karenrichardson

Hi, this is my first time on here. I just read your article on the home page Tracey and it described exactly how I feel. Me and my boyfriend moved to Vancouver 2.5 years ago and had our first child here last year. Although we've been back a few times and had family over here it isn't the same and I feel that she is missing out on her large family in the UK. If it was still just the two of us I think I would have been back in the UK by now, I didn't realise how homesick I would be (it's the same story with my boyfriend, he loves it here and would be gutted if we went back to the UK). The only thing that stops me from going back is the yob/knife culture, and what's been discussed on here, i.e. the attitude of kids nowadays. I wonder if my daughter will be better off if we stay in Canada, but then I wonder if I stay will I have this unhappy homesick feeling forever?

I'm sorry I can't offer you any words of comfort after having returned to the UK, except I wish I was there right now. And it's interesting to hear other people's stories having returned. It would be interesting to here how things go as time goes on.

All the best.

Karen

Bevm

Karen,what have your family experienced back home? Not heard about or read about, but experienced first hand? You can probably assume that your experience will be the same and you'll be better able to decide.

Bev

karenrichardson

There have been a few incidents close to my sister's home and a couple of my younger nephews haven't been very law abiding themselves recently. I know what you mean though, it's not good to go by what you read in the news but what your own experiences have been when living there. But it does seem that young people here have a better attitude than those in the UK. Some of my family think I would be mad to return to the UK, but that's easy for them to say.

ahappychappy

Hi Tracey,

We left the UK 12.5 years ago but have been back for numerous holidays over the years so I have up to date experience. Generally I find The UK does have a more widespread thug mentality amongst the young, and they are indeed less respectful and ill mannered than their Aussie peers. That is just a reality of the UK.

Being a parent myself I would not consider raising and educating our son in the UK. It is not a very good country for children to grow up in. It is an utter mistruth perpetuated on this forum that UK state schools some how provide a better level of education than Australian schools do. The UK state system is obsessed with meeting benchmarks and targets. It does not nurture the well being of the child. As you noted we have also found the Australian state system to be very good. I feel the life we have in Australia offers far more for our son and provides activities and interests/experiences that are certainly more affordable and accessible here.

Have you perhaps considered transferring your two bright children (or at least daughter) into a fee-paying school? We have friends in Colchester Essex who recently moved both their (aged 11 and 14 out of what is considered the best state school in Colchester (Philip Morant). They are now paying 5000GBP and 8000GBP for the privilege. Based on salaries my Wife and I would earn in the UK we just could not afford to go down the private route, where as we can in Australia. My Brother and his wife moved back to the UK with their two sons seven years ago (they now regret it). After experiencing what was on offer they elected to home school their two sons.

Do you think that based on your recent experience that you would find pursuing your teaching career In the UK state system would be enjoyable and rewarding?

Sorry that this is not a positive post but that is how the UK is.

Naturally you being the only family member wanting to return to the UK is going to bring it’s own pressures. And no doubt you are very fortunate to have such a supportive Husband. If I were in your situation I would give it approx six months and if life was not panning out, then begin to re-evaluate the family position.

Spending time on BE is probably not the best option either. Perhaps stay off the site for a few months and focus your thoughts and efforts on how you and you family are feeling.

Good luck.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

...and that lot is supposed to help how exactly?