We've been back a month now and we've got a little girl (7) who is pretty unhappy in her new school. She's crying most mornings and says she hates her new school and doesn't want to go. She asks to go 'home' (Australia for her) most days too. God, I feel so awful watching her go through this

We can't change the school as there isn't another school that can take both kids.

I know it's early days, and we're trying to be positive for her, we're trying to get her involved in things as much as we can afford to...(still no jobs ) and we're taking them out and about at weekends, but it really is horrible to see this once happy outgoing little girl turn into a very sad little thing.

Just a quick reply Tracey. Doing brekkie

Have you asked A why she's unhappy? You need to find out exactly what it is first. Is it worth speaking to the teacher to see if she's noticed anything or have you done that.

Is there a buddy system at the school for A to feel included?

It's early days right now and A was littlemore than a baby when you moved here so it's probably a bit overwhelming. Is N settled? If he is what's different?

You're also in a new house so she's had alot of upheaval in the last month.

I've just read a mag article that says it takes a term for a child to feel settled in a new school so don't panic just yet. I know it's sh*t seeing your child cry every day but I think your first call should be school to get the facts.

Are they doing anything for Xmas she can get really involved in?.

PM or email me if you want a chat and I'll reply later

Don't give up yet - it's too soon xx.

Hi Tracy, ((((hugs)))) to you and your little one

if you haven't done so yet have a chat with her teacher see what that brings up. is she a sensitive child i have one of those and change really effect's him in a big way Ive really noticed that in recent weeks with all our moving around.

I'm sure she will be fine how old is she, I hope she feels better soon.

other than that how are things going for you, we decided to go home yesterday booking our flights tomorrow i cant believe it don't think i will fully on till I have the flight details

good luck and keep us posted

sorry about that tracey, it's tough for the kiddies i know.....any new friends that your 7yr old mentions that you could invite over to play/stay for tea after school...might help her feel more settled if she could perhaps meet that friend on the way to school.

Sorry to hear that. I had the same issues with my eldest who was 6 when we moved back from Canada. It took her a good 6 months to settle. We invited lots of friends over to play, it was just a case of sticking it out. Hope things improve, it is truly gut wrenching watching it.

Just noticed you said how old she is. sorry !

Hope she settles soon for you

sending you love

Hi Tracey, so sorry to hear that your little girl is so unhappy at the moment. My daughter is about the same age and was so unhappy when we first arrived in Aus, although she was incredibly brave and tried so hard to make friends and put a smile on her face (which broke my heart even more )

We are set on returning to the UK next May, although lately I have been wondering whether we should give it a go for a bit longer (really don't think OH wants to though) as my little girl has now confessed (after insisting that she is happy to return - because she knows we want to) that she wants to stay here. I really don't know what to do now, can I really put her through all this again? God, it's such a nightmare, what to do for the best. I s'pose we can only love and listen to them and give lots of hugs and hope that things ease over time. Best of luck to you and your family, hoping things turn a corner for you soon.

I'm just more confused than ever

So sorry to hear that Tracey. It is probably very much an age thing and I would also check out with the teacher whether she is behind the others with respect to skills - I know that the Aussie system has different priorities in early education and there may be expectations put on her which she cannot meet at this stage or at least she may see that the other kids can do things which she cannot. Play dates and buddies are a great thing to help the social development move along.

That sounds crap. My sympathies after all the effort it's taken to get back. Just a quick query, why does she have to go to the same school as her sibling? Not every school is going to suit every child and that includes children from the same family. I know it can be awkward sometimes being in two places at near enough the same time for the school run but there are always families doing it.

Hope she settles down soon.

Hey Tracey, it's early days, these things are to be expected. You will all probably have your ups and downs through the coming months.
It must be horrible starting a new school. I remember when i was 9 and changed schools due to moving to a different area. I hated it for weeks and weeks, cried all the time
But i remember loving the school eventually. Keep encouraging her and be positive about it all, i'm sure you are anyway. I think when your furniture arrives and she has her belongings back, she will feel more at home.

Hey there Tracey sorry to hear your little girl is unhappy..I was wondering you know as you say shes 7 and she was small when you went to live overseas is there any chance that shes either being teased or heaven forbid bullied because she speaks with a different accent?

Just a thought kids can be so nasty at times and it could be something like this or that shes not understanding the work they are currently doing and feeling like she can't tell anyone. Maybe shes been told off a couple if times for doing things the way shes used to at her old school. I would deffinately go and see the headmaster/mistress and the actual teacher but i wouldnt let her know you are going.
Hope it all works out for you guys...
Cally

Hi Tracy,

Sorry to hear that your little one is so unhappy. I know how hard it was for me when I came to OZ,mind you I was alot older than your little one.

Do as others have said go see the headmaster also her teacher.Why don't you invite a few of the children in her class home for a fancy dress party,does not have to be for a special reason.

I know children can be cruel to each other I just hope it works out for you.

All the best Irish Guinness

Hi guys, thanks for the advice

I have been to see her teacher, several times, and A is more than coping with the work. In fact she's way above most of the kids. I'm not saying she's a superbrain, she's just a bright kid, both our kids are, they've had a good start in Oz as their old school was great. Anyway, according to A (my girl) when I ask why she doesn't like the school she just says she thinks the kids are weird and she has no friends and she prefers her old school and misses her old friends.
I know all of the above is completely normal and understandable and it's going to take time for her to adjust. It just rips my heart out to see her unhappy.
I will say though, I'm not overly impressed with the school they're going to. I've been in helping out and I've been shocked at the behaviour levels. Also the way kids are taught here is completely different (obviously) and as an Aussie trained teacher i find the lessons here all very regimented and rushed, as if the teacher will cram in as much as poss because they have so many learning objectives to hit. It's nowhere near as relaxed. Maybe that's another thing A is finding hard to deal with.
Time will tell. I'm just really sorry at the moment that I'm putting our kids, and my hubby, through this as it was only me that wanted to return, they were all very happy in Oz. Now I have an unhappy child and a husband who despite really enjoying retraining, would still move back to oz in a heartbeat given half a chance.
Need a bucket filled with sand so I can bury my head

Hey you im thinking you are having an attack of the guilts yourself try not to take it personally you tried your best when you were overseas and your family will be trying to do thier best now at the end of the day someone has to be out of their comfort zone for a while as its all new again but you should not blame yourself.

My suggestion is to back and read some of your old posts and you will see how unhappy you yourself were in Aus, unfortunately this is going to happen to someone in the family wherever you live for a while but it doesnt mean anyone is right or wrong. And it deffinately doesnt mean that you are to blame. I bet you that by the time xmas comes around everyone will be starting to feel much more positive and cheery!

All the best
Cally