Dont if I am coming or going
Apr 21st 2007, 6:30 pm
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: uk-perth northern suburbs-uk
Posts: 740
Re: Dont if I am coming or going
I imagine my story has been on this forum many times but my wife is sick of my worrying and has ordered me to put this post on ,,, so here goes.
Been here in Perth 7 years and am now booked to move back to UK at the end of May, in those seven years I think I have wanted to return every year, but now we are finally going I am actually scared stiff and worried sick of returning. As most people who have lived here a while seem to now realise oz is not all that it seems, I have had so many dreadful jobs, been stitched up, ripped off, lied to, and cheated, not saying this doesn't happen in England but for me it was a rude awakening and a hard lesson, but a lesson well learned, but having said that since I started working for myself about 2 years ago things just got much better, finally earning ok money and not working for complete idiots who seem to think if you are not working 10 hours a day or six days a week you are lazy.
But having said that I don't hate Perth at all in fact I look around at the affluence and lovely old suburbs and it all looks good, but for me, although I have a lovely wife and two fantastic small children, the isolation and loneliness just gets too much and I long for the deeper friendships and family life back in the UK.
So what am I on about! well now that we are set to go back I am on the verge of staying, mainly because all I hear about the UK these days is negative, (and that's not just from the aussies) society and the political situation seems to have gone to the dogs, no-one I know over there seems to be doing well for themselves, and they all think I am crazy for wanting to return, I have been trying to stay focussed on our plans and not take too much notice of other peoples opinions but its really starting to worry me, can it really be that awful and hard a place to live these days? has it changed that much?
So, my head is saying stay but my heart is saying go, looking at the UK from a far I long for the English humour and culture, and see many great English qualities that I just didnt notice or took for granted while living there.
So, please if any one has just made the move or would like to remind me of some of the great reasons for living in the the Uk please feel free and let me be rid of this temporary spate of insanity.
Been here in Perth 7 years and am now booked to move back to UK at the end of May, in those seven years I think I have wanted to return every year, but now we are finally going I am actually scared stiff and worried sick of returning. As most people who have lived here a while seem to now realise oz is not all that it seems, I have had so many dreadful jobs, been stitched up, ripped off, lied to, and cheated, not saying this doesn't happen in England but for me it was a rude awakening and a hard lesson, but a lesson well learned, but having said that since I started working for myself about 2 years ago things just got much better, finally earning ok money and not working for complete idiots who seem to think if you are not working 10 hours a day or six days a week you are lazy.
But having said that I don't hate Perth at all in fact I look around at the affluence and lovely old suburbs and it all looks good, but for me, although I have a lovely wife and two fantastic small children, the isolation and loneliness just gets too much and I long for the deeper friendships and family life back in the UK.
So what am I on about! well now that we are set to go back I am on the verge of staying, mainly because all I hear about the UK these days is negative, (and that's not just from the aussies) society and the political situation seems to have gone to the dogs, no-one I know over there seems to be doing well for themselves, and they all think I am crazy for wanting to return, I have been trying to stay focussed on our plans and not take too much notice of other peoples opinions but its really starting to worry me, can it really be that awful and hard a place to live these days? has it changed that much?
So, my head is saying stay but my heart is saying go, looking at the UK from a far I long for the English humour and culture, and see many great English qualities that I just didnt notice or took for granted while living there.
So, please if any one has just made the move or would like to remind me of some of the great reasons for living in the the Uk please feel free and let me be rid of this temporary spate of insanity.
If youve come so far as to book a flight home after 7 years of homesickness, I cant imagine what will be different if you cancel the tickets now.
Basically, you have 3 options.
1) Stay in Perth, but spend the next 7 yrs wondering "what if" and getting more depressed.
2) Stay in Perth, having examined why you feel the way you do now, and develop strategies to cope with this. Perhaps some CBT (counselling) to help you look at challenges in other ways?
3) Go back to the UK.......but be very prepared for a big culture shock after 7yrs. I dont mean culture shock because its a dreadful country, just that for you, it will be out of your comfort zone, and you will probably feel how you did when you stood on Australian shores 7yrs ago. Its horrible at first and you will need as much courage and determination as you do for option 2. But the easy route (option 1) will be the one that really gets you in the end, i imagine.
The UK, to me is a lovely friendly safe place with amazing people and things to do. However, I have struggled immensley coming back because of the incredible guilt I felt about bringing the rest of the family home when they didnt want to. And this unfinished business, is what will bring me back, if anything. Hopefully, you wont share that guilt because after 7yrs you can hold your head up and say you gave it a good go. But it wont be because one place is better than another. Australia is not better, but it is very different. Its like comparing apples and pears, then asking which is the better pear. You cant do it.
All I know is that although I struggle with emotions a lot still, I dont ever wake up here with that awful sinking, dark cloud above me feeling.
Because I seem to change my own mind on a daily basis, I dont like to give advice too explicitly, but one thing I would suggest is that if you are asking this question on this forum, you need to go back, for your own reasons - but keep your options open. If you can afford to, keep Australian property, and tell yourself its a place to go back to when you retire.....but before you get that old, you will go hell for leather in making it work in Europe, and living it a little. I think had I got citizenship, and could tell myself that Id be ok - but you have - so go and live your life for today again.
Good luck in your choices
c
Apr 22nd 2007, 1:20 am
#17
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10
Re: Dont know if I am coming or going
Thanks everybody for the replies, we have decided to go through with it , spoke to and old work acquaintance at the weekend in the UK who is able to help out with some work which takes a bit of pressure off, just speaking to him felt like a breath of fresh air, its probably my imagination but English people just seem so normal.
Anyway thanks all again
Chris
Anyway thanks all again
Chris
Apr 22nd 2007, 1:55 am
#18
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Bangalow
Posts: 45
Re: Dont if I am coming or going
Good luck Chris..hope it all works out for you.
Definately good that you have some work lined up.
Take care
Definately good that you have some work lined up.
Take care
Apr 22nd 2007, 7:43 am
#19
Life is more than a dream
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Kings Moss, UK - it's a bit like Emmerdale
Posts: 1,389
Re: Dont know if I am coming or going
Thanks everybody for the replies, we have decided to go through with it , spoke to and old work acquaintance at the weekend in the UK who is able to help out with some work which takes a bit of pressure off, just speaking to him felt like a breath of fresh air, its probably my imagination but English people just seem so normal.
Anyway thanks all again
Chris
Anyway thanks all again
Chris
It isn't such a bad place to live you know. In fact it's quite wonderful here - I was only away a year but am enjoying life here again so much doing far more than I ever did in Oz.
So many people here are doing really well for themselves too - lots of people have a couple of holidays abroad, drive newish cars and seem to have plenty money so I'm sure you will be just fine
And remember, most people find it harder to go back than to emigrate in the first place so you're not alone
Apr 22nd 2007, 8:01 am
#20
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 113
Re: Dont if I am coming or going
I imagine my story has been on this forum many times but my wife is sick of my worrying and has ordered me to put this post on ,,, so here goes.
Been here in Perth 7 years and am now booked to move back to UK at the end of May, in those seven years I think I have wanted to return every year, but now we are finally going I am actually scared stiff and worried sick of returning. As most people who have lived here a while seem to now realise oz is not all that it seems, I have had so many dreadful jobs, been stitched up, ripped off, lied to, and cheated, not saying this doesn't happen in England but for me it was a rude awakening and a hard lesson, but a lesson well learned, but having said that since I started working for myself about 2 years ago things just got much better, finally earning ok money and not working for complete idiots who seem to think if you are not working 10 hours a day or six days a week you are lazy.
But having said that I don't hate Perth at all in fact I look around at the affluence and lovely old suburbs and it all looks good, but for me, although I have a lovely wife and two fantastic small children, the isolation and loneliness just gets too much and I long for the deeper friendships and family life back in the UK.
So what am I on about! well now that we are set to go back I am on the verge of staying, mainly because all I hear about the UK these days is negative, (and that's not just from the aussies) society and the political situation seems to have gone to the dogs, no-one I know over there seems to be doing well for themselves, and they all think I am crazy for wanting to return, I have been trying to stay focussed on our plans and not take too much notice of other peoples opinions but its really starting to worry me, can it really be that awful and hard a place to live these days? has it changed that much?
So, my head is saying stay but my heart is saying go, looking at the UK from a far I long for the English humour and culture, and see many great English qualities that I just didnt notice or took for granted while living there.
So, please if any one has just made the move or would like to remind me of some of the great reasons for living in the the Uk please feel free and let me be rid of this temporary spate of insanity.
Been here in Perth 7 years and am now booked to move back to UK at the end of May, in those seven years I think I have wanted to return every year, but now we are finally going I am actually scared stiff and worried sick of returning. As most people who have lived here a while seem to now realise oz is not all that it seems, I have had so many dreadful jobs, been stitched up, ripped off, lied to, and cheated, not saying this doesn't happen in England but for me it was a rude awakening and a hard lesson, but a lesson well learned, but having said that since I started working for myself about 2 years ago things just got much better, finally earning ok money and not working for complete idiots who seem to think if you are not working 10 hours a day or six days a week you are lazy.
But having said that I don't hate Perth at all in fact I look around at the affluence and lovely old suburbs and it all looks good, but for me, although I have a lovely wife and two fantastic small children, the isolation and loneliness just gets too much and I long for the deeper friendships and family life back in the UK.
So what am I on about! well now that we are set to go back I am on the verge of staying, mainly because all I hear about the UK these days is negative, (and that's not just from the aussies) society and the political situation seems to have gone to the dogs, no-one I know over there seems to be doing well for themselves, and they all think I am crazy for wanting to return, I have been trying to stay focussed on our plans and not take too much notice of other peoples opinions but its really starting to worry me, can it really be that awful and hard a place to live these days? has it changed that much?
So, my head is saying stay but my heart is saying go, looking at the UK from a far I long for the English humour and culture, and see many great English qualities that I just didnt notice or took for granted while living there.
So, please if any one has just made the move or would like to remind me of some of the great reasons for living in the the Uk please feel free and let me be rid of this temporary spate of insanity.
I would just like to say I was like you but in Melbourne, same thing ripped off, etc etc( I have some really horror stories). And yes, all the scaremongering makes you stay, but eventually I made the decision to leave we have actually moved to dubai as a compromise and to hopefully make up some of the money that we lost from living in OZ, and save some money to get back on the uk property ladder which got completely out of our reach in the 11 years we have been away, there is more to life than nice views, has someone else said everywhere has problems its what you can tolerate. Its better to go home and know you have definitely made the right decision than to wonder for the rest of your life whether you would have been happier in the uk, its only money. If its any consolation I feel happier in myself I was feeling claustrophobic in the end, I put on so much weight and basically did'nt care, now things are coming right again. Good luck, and all the best with your decision.
