Suze66 - I don't have much experience with dealing with teenage girls. But I fully understand where you are coming from. Your comment about feeling like you have a 4 year prison sentence is the perfect description.

I do think you have the right to be happy and pursue your own life taking your child into consideration. If you and she are free to move around I say go for it.
My own situation is similar in feelings but unfortunately different in fact. My child would not be free to leave with me and I question whether they would be allowed to visit if I moved away (power and control). I have spent many heart aching hours deliberating these issues. I think Hawk mentioned that he actually talked with his children. I did the same - its actually very refreshing to hear their opinion.

Been down that road and was accused of kidnaping - another whole other story. But the good news is (at least in where I am) your kid has a say from the age of 12. After the ex "confiscated" their Canadian passports, my daughters didn't want to have to deal with her anymore and that's when they asked if I could get them British passports. The ex has since demanded (thru lawyers) that I hand them over but the beauty is, I don't have them, the girls do and she doesn't have the nerve to demand the passports from them. I do wonder what would happen if me and the girls showed up at the airport to fly overseas on our UK passports.

Your kids may not get it now but as long as you take the high road, your kids will come around and start to understand what has transpired and migrate towards you - happened with my oldest, my youngest still doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and she's entitled to her own without anyone trying to sway her.

Well, since 'joining' this thread not long ago, we have now made the decision to go back to the UK! It is all based on being there for the two teenagers - 14 yr old is not happy and the 16 yr old has been told to find somewhere else to live. Apparently now we're on the other side of the world their Dad & Stepmum no longer feel the need to be quite as accommodating to the boys as when we were about. In their defence they'd never been 'full time' parents - one night a weekend for the past 12 years, obviously didn't realise the full extent of what they were actually taking on with their bribes and promises of a wonderful life with them (while Mum did one!). They still don't want to emigrate for a couple of years, so we've decided to go back on a 'temporary' basis, which is an easier choice as I'm going back to my kids and where I have an 'okay' life.

Hopefully the stress of making a decision is starting to flow away. Good luck with the move back and be sure to repost and let us know how things went.

Suze said, "She is 14 (soon to be 15) yr old – How would I ever get her into the school system? Over here she has at least 4 more years of schooling, in the UK she’d be reaching school leaving age… "

This isn't true. Most students stay till 18 now, and she should be able to get in sync with the UK system in time for the two levels of exams. I assume she's fluent in English, and being bilingual is always an advantage. What's more, if she wants to go to a UK university, she won't have to pay foreign student fees.

Bev

Actually the school leaving age is being raised to 17 in England and Wales from 2013 and 18 from 2015:

http://webarchive.nationalarchives.g...room/DG_173002

msbds - glad you made a decision. I was not aware the school leaving age was being raised to 18 - that is a positive improvement in my book.

The slow formation of a plan coming together here. Its amazing how energizing that can be. I anticipate Spring 2013. Have a number of goalposts between now and then and if all goes well that should be just about right.

Then again, I truly have days when I say to myself - just go now!! I think I could be out of here in a week if I truly put my mind to it.

I've been following this thread and didn't want to read and run. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to make the decision on whether to leave a child or not.

My parents got divorced and my dad moved away when I was 13. Now I'm 21, our relationship has definitely suffered due to the distance while growing up, however he is now remarried with two children. If he put his life on hold for me, he may not have had the happy life he has now.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer when making such a decision. You've got to do what's best for your children as well as for yourself and no one else apart from you can determine what is best.

For someone that's going thru it, it is a very difficult decision and I appreciate you telling us your insight.

As Hawk said. Thanks for the insight. Wise words.