That is so out of character for him -I'm wondering whether he has been hit by a pre- Christmas bug which is addling his brain. He is old, after all- they are very vulnerable these crumblies. -beckiwoo, maybe we should be making allowances for him...?

that is maybe - but I found the post very rude.

Maybe I haven't had experience of having children but as far as I was aware BE forum was a place where it was free to give your opinions...

Maybe I should have used the little fella- I thought about it but felt it didn't need it but was wrong.
I would agree with you- discussion is good- and hell yes you should be able voice your opinion and expect replies- not put-downs as happened here. It seems with age comes infinite knowledge- the younger ones are just divvies and don't count. It seems that politeness is often lacking in his posts which perhaps is surprising and I have to say disappointing .

Possibly just coincidence but I've often found that if people have good kids they are often very good people themselves. Juvenile delinquency used to be blamed on heredity and environment but character must be influenced by the kids' interaction with their parents. If they are foolish and hedonistic or nasty by nature and incline to trouble anyway all you can hope for is that their heredity helps them survive their environment so try to give them what intellectual and emotional skills you can before they're turned loose then hope for the best. If they don't turn out exactly the way you planned don't resent it but wish for their happiness. I'm not sure how long I was a teenager but it must have been 40 or 50 years.

I didn't mean to be rude or to suggest for a minute that you shouldn't have posted, but if there is one subject on which personal experience is a prerequisite it is the subject of parenting teenagers.

I hope and fully expect that one day you'll agree.

Until then, pax vobiscum.

I read Novo's controversial comment as "tongue in cheek", for what it's worth.

My (very nasty) comment was most definitely fueled by a week of dealing with a bout of horrendously awful behaviour/attitude from my last remaining teen-at-home. Combined with a severe dose of black humour on my part.

I'd say that my experience of parenting teens (& knowing their friends) is 80% they're good, great, fascinating & fun to be around. 20% they can be excruciatingly 'horrible, do stupendously daft/dangerous/plain stoopid stuff. It's the 20% that sticks in one's mind/influences one's attitude when one is "living" it.

Some hope in those comments. I think parental actions must have some impact. When you see teenagers of kids from other countries (Asian, Middle Eastern, etc.) they seem to be somewhat better behaved and respectful. Our highly individualistic Western culture invented the "teenager" and it certainly promotes it. Don't wish to generalise, but I'm thinking nurture must have some influence on nature. They can't all be Kevins on their 13th birthday!

Thank you. Total value add.

You forgot to include becoming a cynical b.

My girls are not horrendous kids by any stretch, but when they are having their "20%" moments, I can feel exasperated, pissed off, angry, guilty - as many negative feelings you can think of, and I really don't like them very much.

And those are the times I momentarily want to say "F*** you" and leave the house for the day/week. But of course, I am the adult here and I'm supposed to do and say the "right" thing. Maybe, occasionally, keeping my mouth shut and leaving the house is actually the appropriate response.

And I guess that is all normal. On many other days, I am so proud of the young ladies they are turning into. This was not the case on Saturday morning when I posted this thread.

Did you ever have phases like that in the childhood years? We did (aged 7-9) and often joked that he was going thru teenage years early. Praying it was true, actually.

Of course, not - I was bloody perfect!

In honesty though - I was pretty good - my mother might have knocked me into the middle of next week if I'd given her any cheek - that hairbrush was never far away. I didn't really dare get up to much I shouldn't have done.

So I was probably pretty boring.

But I also don't want to be just like my mum when it comes to discipline.

Sorry, ambiguous wording on my part...I meant phases in the kid behaviour...?

Umm that's what I feel like I've been going though for the last few years...I can't imagine it getting any worse. Do you think I'll look fondly back at age 8?

Honestly if we stuck to the letter of the law of Santa, there would be one chap getting a lump of coal in his stocking!