As you probably well know, a relationship is all about trying to out manoeuvre the other person. One has to try to corrupt and weaken the other's moral position. The pizza, was simply an artillery shell in a specific battle on a particular front in the overall war. That said, I fear there may well be a counter offensive this weekend.

At the weekend, the healthy-eating forces who are in charge duing the week normally go off to the gym or church or something equally earnest, leaving the home garrison in the charge of the junk-food and takeaway brigade. If you can't make significant gluttonous ground over a weekend, I'm afraid, sir, that your war is a lost one.

No surrender. I just have to open up another front.

Quite. Take her out to dinner... at the Taj Mahal curry house.

You know what? Sod it, I'm going to pop into GI market on the way home and buy one of those big pork pies for tea.

So much for healthy January!

Still not a Ruby, though, is it?

That's the rub, if you're going to jump off the wagon, it ought to be for something really worth it.

But when you've been languishing in the colonies for as long as I have, the comfort of a pork pie is not inconsiderable.

Fair point. As it happens, I've never had a pork pie (and that's no porkie). Steak or some variety of chicken is my usual choice.

How on earth do you have a picnic?

Good bread, good cheese, salami, ham, olives, pasta salad, and (err, quiche) often do the trick. Making me pine for summer now.

You must be one of those Hitalians or from the American type of middle class.

Possibly.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/pasta_salad

Never had a pork pie? You're missing out.