scrubbedexpat091

1st module of DBT ends Friday. Not sure when the 2nd module starts or which one it will be.

This module was about distress tolerance. Learned a few new things and some of the things they say to do I already do and had no idea I was doing it to releive distress. Things like standing in running water, walks, in winter opening windows for cold air etc.

Interesting module.

Downside to new modules startting is having to get used to new people again.


I was not able to get into the academic upgrading class at the local school. Apparently they need a high school transcript sealed sent from the school.

Have to find a work around to that as my high school wont mail transcripts out of the US.

Maybe in the spring once I can get the transcript thing worked out.

bats

Just get them sent to your parents or to your sister. Surely you knew this when you applied for the transcripts? Also im surprised that they are essential as isnt that the point of academic upgrading?? Check again with the college and see if they have assessments you can write instead. I see that Vancouver Community College has several upgrading courses,all free, and also available online if it is too far to travel.

caretaker

The students in the Community College cooking courses run a decent cafeteria there too.

scrubbedexpat091

I have emailed the school to ask if I can do that with the transcripts, some colleges wont accept them unless they come directly from the issuing school. I wasn't expecting them to want 21 year old transcripts for academic upgrading, not something other schools I have gone to have asked for.

VCC is maybe 2km away, its not very far, I need on campus classes, online learning doesn't work for me, I need the structure of going to class on campus.

scrubbedexpat091

"Since finding success in most professions depends on one’s ability to interact with others and foster long-lasting relationships built on trust, it can be tricky to maintain a position if you’re struggling with BPD symptoms."



From some of the material I was given to read over.

Makes a lot of sense as to likely reason why I am unable to build upwards in jobs and end up nowhere.


These as well are an issue.

"​identity problems, which can make it hard to settle on one career path. You may feel unclear about who you are and what your passions are. This can cause you to jump from job to job without ever committing to one career and building success in that area. This can put you behind in terms of job growth since you may miss out on promotions or opportunities linked to seniority.​​​​​​"

This is why I can do well in a job then suddenly quit and hate the job.

In addition, you may engage in a lot of dichotomous thinking, or "all or nothing" thinking. This means you start what you think is a dream job and think it's perfect. You may idealize it until something happens, like a poor performance review or a mistake. Then you can feel completely let down and demoralized, causing you to quit because it no longer seems like a dream job. This can cause people with BPD to engage in even more "job hopping."


Conentration is a major problem as well and have a hard time working on 1 task and being able to concentrate on said task or learn said task.

"Symptoms of BPD can also interfere with concentration, which can lead to poor work performance. For example, if you dissociate a lot, you may have trouble focusing on tasks which can harm your productivity"

A big part of borderline is lack of interpersonal skills which makes working with others difficult to near impossible.

"For example, people with BPD are often fired from their jobs because they don't get along well with colleagues, have trouble maintaining appropriate boundaries or generate conflict in the workplace."

scrubbedexpat091

Wish there were better solutions then work with your therapist on the issues as not everyone has access to a therapist willing and able to deal with borderline. A lot of therapists wont and the low cost places mostly wont either.

scrubbedexpat091

Without people skills, I don't think self employment is possible. Also a lack of any type of skill people would pay for is also not something I have.

Aquarium maintenance is not a viable option, there are several well established full service companies, and so many start ups have come and gone over the last few years and the well established since the 90's companies still around, would take someone with deep pockets to take on the existing full service companies.

I also would not have the buying power to price match the larger companies on supplies, and buying at retail or near retail would mean little profit.

I don't have a vehicle and its a job where a vehicle is required, cannot haul all the supplies and equipment on public transit.

Back to the lack of sales and people skills, the entire business is sales, and I have no sales skills or ability.

I have a friend well an acquaintance who did try and start up an aquarium maintenance company, he was over a period of 2 years able to get a handful of customers, but could never get the volume needed to make it a viable, self sustaining business.

Does require capital to even start, supplies and equipment are not free nor exactly cheap.

With fewer and fewer people in single family homes and more and more in condos, there are also less and less people with aquariums, let alone a large amount with aquariums who can afford to pay someone else to care for it.

The big companies are able to build/supply everything, and that seems to be where the demand is, but that is something that would require capital and good sales skills.


The only things I can think of that I know how to do job wise are:

Loading planes and other aspect of ground handing of flights.

I can do basic admin like what I did with night auditing which was just printing reports, putting them into pile a certain way and putting pile into an envelope. Despite the work auditor in the job title, in 2018 there is little to no auditing, just a name from the old days before computers when night auditor was actually an auditor which well I have never been, so the name is a little misleading, the job itself literally was sitting all night with a bit of printing and answering phone if it happened to ring.

I can't think of anything else I know how to do that could lead to income, I am pretty below average in every respect.

The stress of having my issues plus having to figure out a way to support myself, another person on top is stressful.

I don't do well in interviews either, lack of interpersonal skills, introverted to the point I don't know how to interact with people normally, severe anxiety etc don't lead to excellent interviews and there will always be someone more suitable, afterall look back to when I have actually been hired, its always been either a mass hiring where many are hired at once with no real interview, or the place isn't willing to pay a suitable wage and will hire anyone who is desperate and willing to take work for almost anything.

I dunno, its just the housing issue that creates most of the problems, eats too much income to survive but housing is high everywhere in BC, no escaping it.

I honestly think all the stress in my life for the past 39 years will end up killing me before 50.

scrubbedexpat091

Almost wonder if its worth living in an apartment and have no money or live in shelter but have money.

At this point nothing can change for the better. Its simply too late and there is no way to get the long term therapy in order to improve. 6 month abbreviated group while better then nothing isnt going to help with all the other problems.

scrubbedexpat091

Seems Australia isnt much better when it comes to borderline but the video does point out how unhelpful the ER can be when it comes to those with BPD.

Psychiatrist says borderline personality disorder sufferers need targeted treatment - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)



Really unless experience this directly, on the surface it may seem like there is a lot of help but really there is very little for those with BPD.


8 to 10% of borderline patients will end their lives at some point. Highest of any mental illness.

Depending on source 70 to 80% of those with BPD will attempt at least once.

Suicide rate of BPD person is 50 times higher vs general population.


Borderline is affects more people (3 to 6%) compared to Schizophrenia which affects roughly 1%. Borderline affects on the low about the same as bipolar which just around 3%.

There is no approved medication for BPD and medication can actually make things worse for borderline symptoms.

There are both high and low functioning borderlines. High functioning are more able to fit into society and acheive higher level of success and better able to hold jobs. High functioning borderlines can more easily hide their symptoms. High functioning are less likely to see help.

Low functioning borderlines are less likely to fit into society, less success, less likely to stay employed and will typically not ne able to hide their symptoms amd thus why they are less likely to stay employed amd less likely to fit into society. However they are more likely to attempt suicide.


I am a low functioning borderline.

Jingsamichty

What about a driving job, perhaps small van delivery/courier type work?

scrubbedexpat091

I might try Amazon delivery. Its not Amazon itself but some company they contract to.

Might be too high stress but I dunno.

Kind of worried about driving all day as well. I get really stressed in traffic.

I can drive but it stresses me out quite a lot.

spouse of scouse

Would something like this be suitable? https://ca.indeed.com/jobs?q=Data%20...e52ac42ae8adfc

scrubbedexpat091

Good chance they would and I have and do apply to some, not getting anywhere, but I do apply. I have no experience in that sector/type of work which likely puts me at a disadvantage but I do apply.

scrubbedexpat091

Talked to a mental health agency to see if they could offer any help or advice but they have no services/ help we qualify for.

They do have housing but they dont manage the housing list its via BC Housing which we already have done and we do update our file every 6 mos or as needed when something changes so we are up to date info wise there.


There is one thing that I enjoy and cant even do that anymore.

Cost to live is too great to have a life.

Income does not match cost of living. The whole system is so screwed.


I think what prevents me from admin type work is no experience in such a field and lack of knowledge in ability to use excel, word and other programs since I have never had a job that used such programs.

Lack of relevant education as well.

Almost Canadian

Court Runner

Go to your local Courthouse and head to the civil filing section. Sit down and observe.

At some point, someone will attend pulling a pilot's case full of documents. Most others there will have one or two documents.

The one with the pilot's case will know the Court Clerks by name, and they will know him/her too.

S/he will file a number of documents and will then leave. As they leave, strike up a conversation with them and offer to buy them a coffee, or talk to them as they walk from law office to law office. Suggest that they take a punt on you and off you go!