Aww you're such a sweet child, I did a good job bringing you up didn't I

How are you today, Katmandu? I've thought of you often since I read your first post. I was going to write you last night, but couldn't see the keyboard for tears....we (OH) left our lovely daughter and my family behind when we returned to Canada a few years ago, and yes, it is like a bereavement. Sometimes it is almost a real physical pain. You will have good days and bad days; you may even have a run of good ones, then out of the blue the fact of being so far apart will hit you like a cold slap. It is hard to deal with at times, so take each day at a time, plan that trip to see them.
My parents are in their later 80's and too frail to make the trip, but they are both on the internet (!!!) and we communicate most days, which does help.
Let's hope Ali & hubby get their computer soon.
All the best to you Karma sent for being so brave

Thankyou for being so kind and understanding of my feelings which are just as you described.
I have just spoken to Ali a few minutes ago and feel lots better now after hearing her voice. I know it will just be as you said - good days and bad days and even though the heart feels like it has suffered a bereavement, just talking on the phone there now makes me realise it is not and as someone else already posted "taking one day at a time "I think is VERY good advice.
Your parents must be wonderful people to be on the internet at their age. Also being able to communicate so easily when they get their phone connected and also get their pc will be a great help.
I must say I am looking forward to pics of inside their new home and hearing about all the wee bits and pieces they will be buying for it.
Thanks again oldbag (sounds like a bad name to call you but then I don't know how on earth I picked "Katmandu"!!)

You sound more cheerful tonight Katmandu...keep smiling!

Hi Katmandu!
I'll bet you feel better now you've spoken to your daughter; you do sound more cheerful.
Yes, my parents are great. My mum (87 this Saturday!) fought against going "online" for the longest time, but when I was over visiting last year I persuaded her to try it.......now she's hooked, so instead of posting a long typewritten letter every few weeks, she e-mails me a couple of times a week; I'm so proud of her as she's just not technically minded at all. I think you'll find a huge difference once your daughter is online again.......it's so immediate you often don't feel that far away. It's the time difference that often gets to me.............having to remember those five hours when you want to make a call.
I also have a photo of my daughter on my desktop.....and say Goodnight when I shut my laptop down! I'll let you in on a secret...... I can't delete any of the e-mails my daughter sends me! How sad is that!

"Oldbag" comes from my old work friends in England who used to refer to me as the "oldbag sitting in the corner".... strangely enough it was meant as a term of endearment....or so they said

Keep safe, keep smiling

I was told today about Alvic's mom and I have to say.I have never shed so many tears as I have reading the posts on here,you know GAY and so many others were right.on here you have a family you can moan and grumble but everyone is here for you and reading this post has just proven that.so many of us have yet to go leaving family behind and my worse is leaving my mom.I wish Katmandu and Alvic all the best in the world and anyone else out there who is leaving family behind.

kate

Hi to all my new friends - you are probably wondering where I've disappeared to but I came down with the flu and then put my back out so have not been in good shape for a few days.
I have to tell you all that we have just booked to go to Canada in June, that is my daughters mil and fil , hubby and myself! Needless to say we are all so excited and just hope the two men's health keeps up.
Alvic and hubby have bought a computer and hope to get their phone line, broadband etc sorted by next week so that will make a HUGE difference, as we can only communicate when they can find a phone indoors somewhere at present and as someone said the time difference will take a bit of getting used to. I will have to refrain from ringing first thing in the morning
I am feeling lots better now and not crying as much...although sometimes I would just love to see their faces and no doubt when we get the webcam going this should help as long as I am not like whoever it was that said their mil went to pieces when on the webcam! Will have to wait to see what the reaction is on both sides of the pond!
I have some pics of their house (covered in snow) displayed in our kitchen and when we are sitting at the table I just look at them and imagine them inside or the wee dogs running around outside in the snow.
Again I would like to tell you all what a great bunch of people you are - words cannot express my appreciation of all the lovely words you have spoken to me - I am so glad I joined the expat forum as I don't know how I would have gotten through those first terrible sad days when I felt the soul being torn from me. Thank you all so much for taking the time and I will keep in touch.

HI KATMANDU ive just read your posts and it really made me fill up we too are heading from northern ireland to Calgary hope fully March and yes im really lookin forward to it ,but iwill be leaving my Mum behind and it is breaking my heart .I also have sisters who will both be here for my Mum and i do know she will be okay but ive just read all your posts and i just thought she will be feelin like you i just wish my goodbyes were over cos im really dreading them

Hi Katmandu, Did wonder how you were doing, sorry you haven't been well, stress and upset does that to people, Great news about your trip in June, the time will pass very quickly, you will need an extra case for all the choc and goodies to take, Pleased you can look at the photos and imagine them there in the snow, and not bursting into tears every time, thats a posative step for you, once you have been for your holiday you will understand more about where and how they live so will hopefully feel closer again, hope everyones health stays good

My mum phoned last night and told me she is having nightmares about us going, i am sure it is going to get tough for us all and sometimes i feel really guilty for leaving them, Dad says to go for it bless him, I am so pleased you have found some comfort in this forum with all your new friends and because of the time difference ( morning calls haha ) you will always find a shoulder and quite often a laugh on here, God bless, look after yourself and have a little smile when you look at the photos, you will soon be there

Thanks for posting you thougts and feelings about your daughter, I am one of the selfish ones that is leaving soon and you have helped me to understand what my nearest and dearest will be feeling.

I'll miss all my family and friends but we need to do this, we do worry that something will happen but we think at least we are only a flight away. Hopefully our family will visit as soon as you do, my FIL has said he won't come.

Sharon

Sorry you've not been so good; I did wonder where you'd got to, so it's good to see you back here. Fantastic news about your planned trip! Way to go Katmandu...........you really don't hang around do you .....good for you. Now you've the excitement of planning and working out a huge shopping list of goodies to take over....you do realise it's an obligatory part of the trip ! It's amazing how quickly those next few months will fly now you have something to plan for. I'm so pleased you're feeling more upbeat about things.

I just phoned my mum cos it's her birthday today, and had the real pleasure of speaking to my dad as well.....he doesn't often come to the phone cos he's quite deaf, but today he even answered when it rang, so it was a double thrill for me.............amazing how we all take these tiny things for granted........not me, not any more!
Keep smiling, keep safe

Hi katmandu,

Your post has brought tears to my eyes as I have just said goodby to my Mummy too - for the second time and believe me it's harder the second time around, the 1st time it was - we'll come to see you in Canada next year, so it gave us some hope, then the big C struck soon after. Mum has battled and won her fight but is still in pain from the treatment, making it hard for her to sit and stand, it was painful to see how much she has aged - hopefully she will be able to stand a flight in the next year or so, but we know now that life can get in the way of plans and hopes.

Be happy for your daughter (I'll get the cheapy phone number of my Mum and send it to you - i'ts 1p a minute or something). As others have suggested Skype is good (my Mum is too vain for it). Think of your visit to her and the wonderful opportunity she has sampling life in another country, it's a great experience for her and her family. Oh and remember she needs the odd bit of choccy sending now and then

Hi KATMANDU
Glad your feeling better. I find it really help to hear the otherside of the equation, I have just spoken to my mum, sister and son still in the UK and I was feeling really low, so I signed on, and there you were with words of wisdom.

I'm sure that when you come to see your daughter you will realise the pull of Canada, till then keep looking at those photos, and skype and a web camera really do help. There are bad and good days on both sides of the Atlantic.

hey good to hear from you, glad you're feeling better and got your holiday booked

When we phone Canada, we use Asda call time, its easy to use and costs
2.5p a minute. You can buy credit online, so it doesn't go on your phone bill, everytime you use the number it tells you how much credit you have.

Take care
Rosie

http://asda.unitel.co.uk/

I feel the same way and do worry what if we get the phone call but like you we both feel we haveto do it and both my children are looking forward to it .