This needs to stop
 

It seems to be going a lot more these days, and something has to be done to stop it ASAP. It takes a village to raise a kid....the teachers can't do it all at school, the parents have to play an integral part in all this and make it their duty to speak to their kids more about bullying amongst other things

Another innocent soul lost

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...rticle4607133/

Re: This needs to stop
 

A tragic but predictable consequence of the modern culture of over-emoting.

We need to teach our kids to have a bit more backbone.

Re: This needs to stop
 

We actually need to deal with the bullies, punish and educate them. The bullied are victims of ignorant teachers and parents as much as the bullies.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Bullies are a part of life, and bullying is a part of human nature. We are NOT all the same. We need to teach kids how to properly deal with bullies, not just spout empty platitudes like "bullying must stop".

A child who grows into an adult unable to recognise and deal with a bully has been failed.

Re: This needs to stop
 

This bloody horrifies me, this started with this poor kid from the 7th grade! From the short time our son has been at school here (he's in 6th grade) they seem to have had a dance a march or a meeting on bullying every week. However, it seems to be aimed at the victims rather than getting at the bullies. The thing is Ultra Runner is right it does take a village to raise a kid, but communities are under threat and families are increasingly defunct. A lot of parents seem to really care about their kids, but there is a minority who couldn't seem to give a stuff about what their kids are doing or getting up to. What 'does' happen to really bad bullies? Ejecting them from full time education wouldn't seem to be the answer, it's just going to make it worse later. There was a lot of bullying when I was a kid and it was basically the survival of the fittest, but we didn't have the Internet to turn someone's nastiness into a sadistic 'fun' fest.

Re: This needs to stop
 

In a perfect world that would work.

That will never happen. There will always be vunerable, disabled, gay, ect., kids and adults who other people will take advantage of.

So the question is why don't the bullies get it? If this had happened in a work environment were the bullied could not deal with it then action would be taken via the court system.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Amen...for people to come out and tell the bullied party to "have more of a backbone", is just well.....not helping.

As mentioned above, there was no flippin internet when most of us were growing up, but nowadays with the likes of twitters, facebook et al, there are different avenues for bullies to carry out their act. Facebook especially has single-handedly ruined a lot of lives in its short existence.

Funny how countries that have strict punishments for even spraying graffiti, you don't see nonsense like this happening? Drop a chewing gum on the street in Indonesia and see what happens

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The problem is that Bullies have and always will exist esp amongst kids..because as kids grow into adults they are replaced by a new generation of children and a new generation of bullies to kids its all new and part and parcel of growing up.

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Get them in court then!

The bullies in the OP link should be Tried for what they did and a minimum sentance should be handed out. Maybe then bullies would get it?

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i would suspect many bullies do not even think or know they are bullies so they wouldn't get it because it wouldn't apply to them.

Re: This needs to stop
 

We need to make sure that when kids are bullied, they know what to do. (Not make emo films on Youtube and commit suicide). Kids need to be told that bullies DO exist, and will always exist, and how to repond to them. It helps nobody when the Premier of BC says stupid things like "bullying must stop." You might as well say "farting must stop."

Re: This needs to stop
 

This is true but...There are the weak ones who join up with the bullies, leader bully?, for fear of being the outcast and the bullied. They have to know what bullying behaviour is, and not to join in with it. Only a few are unreformable out and out bullies. The 1 in 100 psychopath maybe.

Being bullied at work? you put in a complaint, the bosses deal with it. The bully stops. The ultimate threat is that the bully loses their job, this focuses their minds on their actions and they realise they can't get away with it.

At school, or on the school bus. Well what's the penalty? Nothing that really matters to the bully. Kids need more protection.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Totally agree. Spouting off about the courts getting them is a waste of time. We deal with murderers, rapists, etc. this way and it still happens.

I have two teenage daughters and we all sat down and watched the Youtube vid then had a discussion. Was a very interesting discussion and both my kids are very aware of bullying (in person and on the internet) and making fun of people 'cus they are perceived as different.

One of my oldest daughters close male friends took his life two years ago and it still affects both my kids as they try to understand why. According to my kid, he wasn't bullied, always seemed to be happy at school and when they hung out as a group. Took everyone by surprise and his reason for ending it all was simply they he didn't like his life, didn't see a future and didn't want to go on. He hung himself. Nobody saw it coming.

For what it's worth, both my girls main comments were: she moved several times so why did it always happen in different surroundings? and the Facebook account thing - why not shutdown your Facebook account and start a new one even use a different name if you need or don't even bother with Facebook account. As expected, they were both pretty emotional but that you can't always blame others for how you feel and if I want things to change, you have the power to change things.

I couldn't have said it any better than Jingsamichty's comments. Educate your kids on how to deal with it 'cus you can't stop it or sweep it under the rug.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Remember the old lady in the States that made the headlines over a Youtube video about her getting bullied on the school bus by the "kids". The reason she was on the bus was to be a monitor and make sure no one was bullied.

There will always be bullies, whether you learn how to deal with them yourself or expect others to do it for you, is up to you. I'd rather my kids learn how to deal with it.

Re: This needs to stop
 

As well as sentence, their parents should be made to pay compensation.

Here is another one.....Racism is out there right, are we telling people to just learn to deal with it then? How about people just stop the name calling? If you think someone is a fool, just say that instead of adding the colour of their skin to your comments.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Some people are more likely to be bullied. It doesn't make them weak, or that it's their fault.

Re: This needs to stop
 

That's true and it's part of life. Call it what you want but it does make them weak or they wouldn't get bullied. Their fault? maybe maybe not. You move to a brand new place where no one knows you and it happens again? Would it happen again and again no matter where you moved to? Doesn't mean that someone shouldn't have helped the girl. Bullies always pick out the weak that's why they are bullies.

There always has been bullies and there always will be - no matter what rules, laws, penalties you want the court to put in place. You get a life sentence for murder but it still happens.

For me and mine, it comes down to how you were raised and taught to deal with certain situations. As a parent and the internet, it's tougher now because you can be bullied or tormented 24/7 if you choose to sit on your computer.

You can make all the rules and penalties you want (we have lots already in schools and in the workplace) but it won't make a difference - bullying still happens. It's how you deal with it when it happens that makes the difference.

Re: This needs to stop
 

How would u teach a child to deal with it? I'm curious because mine has reached the age when it starts.

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What age is that? I didn't realise there was an age to start.

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It starts when kids can talk.

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There was some trouble on VI a few years back when some kids took the Kick-a-Ginger Day too literally and some ginger kid got kicked over 80 times that day. Of course instead of dealing with it in an appropriate manner, the school/district and typically for Canadians, over reacted and called in the RCMP hate crime division.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Actually as soon as they can see and listen.

Wasn't there a video awhile back on some kids taunting / bullying this big (overweight) kid, then the kid finally decided he had had enough and rag dolled the so called bully. Who says violence doesn't work.

Re: This needs to stop
 

it sounds to me as if you are blaming the person who is bullied. For being weak, for not dealing with it.

Instead of joining in or standing by while the new kid/employee is being hassled people need to do something. Make the new person feel included, don't support the perennial bully's behaviour. Don't laugh at their jokes at other people's expense. It isn't teasing, it's bullying.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Agreed, it's like saying women should dress down, wear jeans and sweaters otherwise it's their own fault if they get raped. It's strange how people support the criminal and not the victim.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Easy solution.

1. School gets evidence of bullying.
2. School informs bully and bully's parents that if one more incident occurs, whether in or out of school, cyber or real-life, bully will be permanently excluded from every school in the province.
3. If bullying persists outside school despite this the matter is passed to the police, whereupon the bully is made to work for nothing cleaning toilets 40 hours per week for a year every time he bullies someone.

This would stop bullying in under a year. Remember, people who get away with bullying in school are essentially being trained to bully people in adult life where it is harder to condition them out of learned behaviour.

I'll add in response to this specific case that if they did that to my daughter I'd kill every last one of them and I mean it literally, so one sees how the above punishment would be preferable for them.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Make the bully wear a ginger wig that way he'll know what it feels like when he gets kicked all day long.

Re: This needs to stop
 

I never had any trouble in school, in fact I was rather popular:D but my cousin was bullied for a year and the school was so incompetent with handling it the only solution was for his parents to move him to another school. It greatly affected his confidence and in my opinion steered hi to poor grades and low-paid work.

If the school had been been able to deal with as I outline his life would be much better.

Re: This needs to stop
 

I don't remember much bullying when I was at school. Maybe a few of the really smelly kids got taunted but thats their parents fault.

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I presume you don't have kids. If you did, and they got treated like the girl in this story, I'm guessing your man-about-town light entertainment attitude to it would evaporate fast.

Re: This needs to stop
 

That's uncalled for. Stop bullying me.

Re: This needs to stop
 

2 kids, 2 experiences.

Kid 1 was bullied last year in Ontario (elementary school). Went on for several months. We talked about tactics of him dealing with it himself. Kid 1 implemented a lot of strategies but the bully kept going to the point where my child asked me to step in and talk to the school. (This was physical bullying not emotional). School was fab and dealt with it asap. The monitoring dropped off a bit but basically the bullying stopped (of my child).

Kid 2 has a friend who has been teasing another child. My kid is not doing the teasing. Had lots of chats with kid 2 about not teasing other children - hope it is sinking in. But the kid who is being teased keeps trying to hang out with my kids friend. He needs to go away and not try and hang out with them - he has other friends his own age. The teased child is not handling it in the right way IMHO.

So as a parent I have the responsibility to try and teach my kids to act appropriately - stand up to bullies and not bully others.

As a child I was bullied twice. The first time I was not believed by the school (the bullies stood up for each other and lied), the second time I physically stood up for myself instead and didn't involve the school.

I always make sure that I chat with them at the end of each school day and find out what is going on with them / their friends.

Difficult situations and highly emotive issues. I just hope that my children talk to me about issues and don't feel that they can't talk to me.



It is an emotive subject for all.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Bullying is a very serious problem and I'm shocked to hear you say this. A child who is subjected to systematic bullying is many times more likely to fail at school, or with their peers, or leave home, or commit suicide than a child who isn't. Research shows this again and again. Society fails when it allows this to happen; the honus should never be on the children being bullied in these situations.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Sounds like you like to jump to conclusions. So bullies don't prey on the weak?

If you followed that girl's story didn't they try moving schools and even moving cities and then it happened again? Why is that? Because bullies prey on the weak - that's what bullies do.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Why am I jumping to conclusions?

You have repeatedly said that bullied people are weak and they should learn to deal with it.

Why are you putting the onus on the victim to change? Why should they learn new behaviour? Stop the threats and the bullying. Bullied people are often gentle and polite with little concept of the aggressiveness and posturing of bullying. You want those traits to be removed?

Re: This needs to stop
 

Of course, systematic bullying is a dreadful problem and ought to be stamped on, but to do that, children need to be taught how to handle it, how to deal with it. The fact that it is systematic means that the child is not confident that if he tells an adult that it will be dealt with instantly. He should be taught that it should be reported and then be able to see for himself that it has been dealt with immediately.

My other point is that, in my opinion, a large amount of what is nowadays called "bullying" is no more than natural playground pecking orders being established - by seeking to stamp out confrontation in the playground we do children a disservice. Children need confrontation and challenge to develop skills to handle it. Children also need to learn - for themselves - how NOT to become bullied.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Those look like conclusions to me. I just said the person was weak, you added the rest.

If bullied people aren't weak, then what are they?

Why should they learn new behaviour - Duh, maybe so they learn how to deal with the situation other than off'ing themselves.

Re: This needs to stop
 

Big +1

Re: This needs to stop
 

My son is gay, tall and striking looking (i dont know if I would say handsome ) but anyway - Grade 8 - he was 13 and over 6' - very popular with most of the kids at new high school - except the blatant homophobes...

He became rather stroppy at home, which we put down to teen hormones , as he had always been a happy go lucky kid. . . towards Easter of this year he became quite adamant that he was going to school in a dress - not necessarily DRAG (we had been there, done that - he has his DRAG Ego . . ) -

When we started talking as to what was acceptable attire for school it came out that his science teacher was allegedly picking on his gayness - now this is all hearsay - the teacher was coming up to retirement and if it was me I would be naffed off with teens by then . . . It should also be noted that the BC teachers were striking, so it wasnt until I went into the school to have a little chat, did it become apparent that son's science mark had gone from an A to a C- - hmmmmmm

It also came to light that earlier on in the years a group of vietnamese Gr9 boys had bee bullying him in the change rooms - name calling - accidentally pushing into etc . . .

Apparently that had been dealt with my meeting s between the Head, the Principal, the kids (both sides) the grade counsellors and a rep from VSB LGBQT - we had been told nothing!

It all added up to when he was being hateful and stroppy etc. . .

OMG did I tear a strip off the school -after 4 days of runaround and voice mails I walked in and sorted the situation . .


BUT - what happens when this is a less outgoing , sure of himself, child?

I felt awful as a parent , we are normally on top of things, but put the mood swings down to teen hormones, when I found put I was gutted . . .

I know as a mother of a gay son I will have a lot of prejudice to deal with but it makes me so sad that he will have to deal with more :(

Re: This needs to stop
 

No form of bullying is acceptable, be it at school or work...period! :thumbdown:

Let's not dance around it. Anyone that blames the victims, need a frontal lobotomy

Re: This needs to stop
 

Worthless platitude.