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I like my tea like I like my women.

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Some of these are proper lol...

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/04/26/...s-of-our-time/

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:)

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How do you confuse a woman?

Chocolate shoes.

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Re: a joke
 

Not a joke as such, but a scene from a movie. The Extraordinary Adventures Of Adele Blanc-Sec.

Ramses and other mummies have come to life and are outside The Louvre of the early 1900s. Impressed with the courtyard, Ramses quips "We should build a pyramid here. It would be a fine addition."

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Another movie scene - The Valet - French comedy.

Elderly man in a book shop walks to cash desk carrying a book. He's known to the assistant.

"Is this any good?"

"Yes, you bought it last month and you told me you read it in one sitting."

"Did I really? How strange. I still have all my marbles but I have no recollection of that at all. Oh well, Just give me a lamb chop then."

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I was sitting at the computer last night and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. "Just looking for cheap flights, I said." She said, "Oh darling, you're just amazing!", then ripped both our clothes off and we had frantic passionate sex. I'm not complaining, but it seemed odd since she'd never shown any interest in darts before.

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How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi got for Christmas?

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I don't know, Greenhill, how did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan got him?

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He felt his presents!

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I felt a great disturbance in the maple leaf, as if millions of voices suddenly groaned in disbelief and were suddenly silenced. I fear some terrible joke has happened.

(merry christmas)

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:ohmy:

Only 4 months, 9 days and an hour-ish to go, then May the 4th be with you!

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In a survey, it was discovered that 53% of scousers had had sex in the shower.
The other 47% had never been to prison!

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How can you tell a Scouser's a Liverpool fan?