Originally Posted by Madmac

A reasonable substitute would be to mix some pea shingle, cold gravy and cayenne pepper together. Add this slowly to your appliance whilst saluting a picture of the Queen and softly humming a rendition of "Bean, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more you fart...."

Originally Posted by Steve_P

I understand if you add a dash of instant coffee to that mix it gives it that same dark brownish colour.

Originally Posted by Madmac

Yes, but only useful if the house gets sick.

Random acts of God are not covered such as:

1. God decides to kill your furnace
2. God bursts your water pipes
3. God sends a massive surge of electricity through your wiring and smites your electrical appliances
4. God causes your windows to fall out
5. God does everything else that will 'ruin your day'

That leaves house influenza, house diarrhoea and my personal favourite: house cooties as the only legal claims you can make on your policy.

Originally Posted by Steve_P

I understand if you add a dash of instant coffee to that mix it gives it that same dark brownish colour.