That wouldn't have been an option for us, thank goodness we had boys.

If you want to go you will --if you can afford it. More often you end up having to go when you don't really want to - in case you offend someone. Even if you don't go you are still expected to send an expensive gift.

When my time comes to get married, it'll be just me and my other half off to Vermont to get married in some little country inn, no witnesses needed, no worries about pleasing other people. And no way are we spending thousands on a free meal for my relatives who I don't see from one year to the next and who would probably end up getting drunk and either fighting or making an arse of themselves.

Though I believe marriage is more than a piece of paper, that piece of paper seems to be coming more important for places like the CRA, CIC and other government agencies. It's easier to prove marriage than common-law.

Which one of my family's weddings did you attend?

Gryph mentioned the stag / hen do's.

Girls tend to go out and have fun, guys tend to do a "jolly boys" weekend (you know last night of freedom type thing.

This normally involves strippers

If I ever catch some fish smelling trollope jiggling her danglies in front of my intended, i'll tell you now she won't be breathing for very long - same goes for said intended if any part of his anatomy is near jiggling bits.

You better hope to God he dont invite me on his stag do now.

I've seen Tux's for sale online and in shops for far less than rentals.

OK. Warning taken.

I can only imagine it would be a two week affair of killing stuff somewhere and then gambling stuff somewhere else!

(If you go you'd best tell me if anything untoward happens or you're danglies will be on the line too )

Hang on - stop this topic now - we're not even getting hitched so its a moot point.

and the tickets were just $10 each, did not tell them that though.

we had a lovely small wedding for family and close friends in a gorgeous hotel on the banks of Loch Earn, buffet meal and fireworks in the evening. 10 days later had the big party in the local village hall, ceilidh band with stovies and pancakes halfway through.

total cost for it all (apart from my dress which my parents stumped up for) about 3-4 grand.

seriously can't imagine spending 20 grand on one day. crazy.

That sounds really great! I honestly couldn't imagine spending anymore than 4k on a wedding...we had friends get married in August and they budgeted £25,000! crazy!

My first marriage was in 1994. We had booked two weeks at a couples-only, no kids resort in St Lucia. We then decided to get hitched while we were there. The families couldn't come, obviously. We did have a reception when we got back. That cost a fair bit. I only bought the booze and that alone came to £1,500. It wasn't a big reception. I later worked out that every man, woman, child and non-drinker got through a bottle and a half of wine during the meal. Or I was ripped off.

Souvette's first marriage was a civil quickie in Ottawa. It got a lot less civil later on. Our civil marriage took about five minutes last November <nervously checks calendar>.

Between us, we have pissed our mothers off three times.

We pissed off my mother when we married without telling her. We did have a small do arranged but she was interfering so much it freaked us out and we cancelled. We only told the witnesses the evening before. My mum was furious. Upset I can understand but evil and spiteful no. MIL was great and all smiles and congratulations.

We deliberately kept our plans quiet. Only my brother and my boss knew (she sent us flowers). Had Quebec MIL known, she would have insisted on a tribe gathering, which we didn't want. Both MIL's were narked when they got the phonecall.

What does one buy for a first anniversary present, anyway?