No you haven't

There isn't one you! I'm just being 8 again and dreaming about getting married.

If we do 1) he's going to have to ask me (quite important i'd say!)

2) it will be after I have pr and certainly not before - that I can assure you

I want neither of those things.

Will there be a barn raising too?? It sounds like a bloody good do to me. It's that kind of wedding that means more than all the precious little princesses who throw tantrums over the shade of pink used on the cake.

The best - ie most meaningful wedding- that I have ever been to was held in a Sally Army Citadel. The bride's dress was second hand and had a newly acquired stain on it before she got to the ceremony. Most of the congregation could be described as chavs. The reception was catered by Tesco and the decor was mostly balloons. One of the bridesmaids was the bride's sister. She was very short and very wide and dressed in crimson satin. She also had Down Syndrome and we were all very moved when she made an impromptu speech welcoming the groom to her family and calling him brother.

I think yours is a lovely idea Mandy.
For the last 5 or 6 years we have been to weddings where the bride wanted to better the wedding before.
Some of the amounts spent were obscene.
What happened to going to the church and then one of your local halls for reception?
When ours come to get married I hope they will rather have money towards a house and things they really need.
Tina

Awww - (love your way of describing things )

When you watch these programmes you find that the high maintenance brides are all of a certain age, where appearance and perception are all important.

By the time you get tpo our age, you know whats important to you and what makes you happy. Shouldn't getting married be all about showing your intended and your nearest nearest and dearest that you love the person stood in front of you with all your heart and that you plan to spend the rest of your lives together - and pledge to do so.

With a bit of a celebration at the end?

Doesn't matter where or how its done.

Actually can I ask another question (sorry Fled) - lots on here are married - but is there anyone that holds the belief that "you don't need a piece of paper to know that you will be with them for a long time "

Is that just a cop out for not getting hitched? Why did you get married if the above holds true?

And another things that annoys me about weddings....

It's the amount of money that it costs you to attend. Outfits, hotels, time off work, gifts.

If you're unlucky enough to be a bridesmaid then you have to pay for your dress, attend the hen party so that's another outfit and probably hotel rooms and dinner, the wedding shower, another outfit and gift.

If you get invited to a wedding abroad then it's flights and hotels and your annual leave time.

I want to wish my friends well and not end up begrudging the amount I have to spend.

Does that sound mean?

No, it sounds cheap.

No it is not mean. My sister had her hen party in Vegas. I spent what I would have spent on a family holiday. It was great though.

lol, same thing.

It's bloody hard to be invited to something that is beyond your means to go to, and if you don't go then you offend. So do you go into debt??

Absolutely not.

I think that any couple that expects friends to fly to some far off location and incur large debts to see them get married is totally inconsiderate and for the most part totally self absorbed.

No not at all, one of moh cousins is getting married in the Carribean next month - and wanted moh neice in the wedding party as flower girl (shes 7).

The mum (moh sister) said no because obviously the whole family would have to go - they have lots of animals, both parents have their own businesses not to mention the cost of it all. This didn't go down too well and has caused a lot of stress. I think its a selfish thing for the bride to do - just because its her wedding day, doesn't mean everyone else should drop everything.

I agree Fled.

No - i feel the same. Not cos I'm a tight git (though I am), but cos it's such a waste.

Bugger, that's me filed under "shallow" then.

But to be fair, although those attending our wedding from the UK had to get all the way to Montreal, SWMBO's family and many friends had a short walk up the road, so I guess it balanced out.

We had what to my eyes was a "traditional English" wedding - service in the university chapel at McGill, reception in a big tent in the in-laws' back garden. FiL had even managed to find a Rolls to whisk us from downtown to the West Island. Aside from the tent and the car, some help with catering (MiL had wanted to do it all herself, but FiL insisted she should hire a professional who was probably driven mad by her "assistance") and plenty of booze, I think the major expense was the friend-of-a-friend seamstress who made the dress from a pattern and a few yards of rather beautiful dupion silk bought in the dressmaking section of Liberty. I made myself a waistcoat from the same fabric as the bodice of the dress, which impressed people way more than it should have.

Two of the in-laws' neighbours happened to be on vacation at the time and had offered the use of their houses to accommodate those who had travelled a long way so they didn't have to spring for hotel costs as well. That small consideration meant more to my sister and her husband than anything else - the cost saved was the difference between being able to come and having to stay at home.

The day after the formal celebrations everybody came back to the inlaws' place for a barbecue lunch. We thought we might as well make the most of the marquee in the garden, and it was great to be able to kick back a bit in shorts and a T-shirt and enjoy time with our guests.

I wouldn't have wanted anything more complicated or expensive. The biggest issue of the day for me was my failure to consider the implications of the combination of all-wool English morning dress, an un-air-conditioned chapel, and 35-degree Montreal humidity. I was dripping by the end of the service.

We were married in Wandsworth registry office and celebrated afterwards with a nice pint of Young's. Total cost about GBP30.00.

29 1/2 years later ...

You flash git.