Most, if not all of the serious physical harm cases I deal with, are from (religious) fundamentalist families. This is not to start a rant against any particular faith, this is just my reality as a CP worker. Obviously I cannot be too specific, but one of the few cases which has brought me to tears was a six year old, so regularly spanked with spoons, belts and hands, he had scar tissue and weeping welts all over his bottom and legs. But, the excuse I hear all the time is that these parents spank "in the name of God, and only with love". (Yes really :curse. I nearly got fired a few months ago for telling a room full of church elders precisely what I thought of that excuse for child abuse.

Its almost mediaeval, bashing the demons out.

Nova im sorry that must haver scarred i was terrified of my father it has left me with much deeper scares than i will ever poss know, too painful to go into but i also remember the threats.

Are you saying i'm not. Cheers for that !

Yes, they were Methodists.

Ive heard of this before, its very sad poor children,
Well done for telling the elders off DB

Yes you can inflict pain mentally as well, and not mean to be cruel, or realise the ramifications.

In my family we had to do things properly, we had to have standards, be decent honest people. This is all good and desirable. The problem came when it wasnt brought about without huge dollops of criticism and negativity. An example of that is when I was a hippy teenager in the 1960s and dressing as one, instead of grasping the fashion and the concept, my parents laughed at me. Methusalah's mother was one comparison, the Wreck of the Hesperus was another. If I got a commended work at school then I was asked why I couldnt do that all the time. Many things were done "for our own good". My poor mum wonders why her only granddaughter doesnt visit her, its because she criticises all the time.

Its a minefield being parent. Glad I missed that boat

Yep could be so, can see where you're coming from and I can't understand either. Though my parents wasn't religious, my dad (Irish) part Catholic (he made up the other side himself ,.. not bothering with school, getting into trouble etc) and pretty much rebelled against everything ! Just his view and strong personality since a young kid. He's still kind of the same , only in an adult version - makes me laugh lol.

I really didn't want to get down to personal stuff,.. but what the hell. Unfortunately my dad is an alcoholic (different story I know), but you may like to hear he has recovered and I have no grudge, although my bro still does. He's actually a very loving and caring person, (I always realised that, deep down when I was a kid, though many times I found it confusing), it has scarred . But, now that he's sober he's proving what I believed him to be and knew, and that is an extremely caring person; helping all, the homeless, charities, addicts etc.. with psychological prob's.

My mum well,.. I blame her background and hormones lol.

Am over it now though !!

This is the other end of the spectrum from parental spanking.

I was caned at school and it certainly kept me in line.

My mum used to administer physical punishment with a variety of objects (depends what she had in her hand at the time). I never thought about it much, mainly because you think that your family is normal and that is what is done to everyone. I learnt later on that she felt trapped in a marriage with three young children and was completely frustrated by my father 'playing away'.

Did it effect me?

Not that much, it didnt turn me into a psyhcologically disturbed person. I think the lack of hugs and display of affection has had far more effect on me than being whipped around the legs with a dog lead.

My life experiences in the real world after leaving home (I joined the army) had more impact on me mentally than anything my mum dished out.

Sorry to make you feel smug but it was a typo I meant to type

"It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood ISN'T the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge."

So if your in charge then why do you need to smack them ?

I agree with that statement too, the lack of affection can have just as devasting an effect as other types of abuse. I know children who play their parents up just so they will interact with them, even if it is to shout or smack them

Woa,.. Chill out !

I'm with Coffeepot's statement after (^this) post.

Dave's statement didn't say 8 or 9 smacks to make him feel in charge, he wrote that 8 or 9 smacks isn't the same as beating someone just to make the abuser feel they are in charge. Hope that made sense, it did to me.

This seems to be an emotive subject for you, please be careful and look after yourself

hmmm, I realise this post wasn't for myself, although I did agree with Coffeepot.

Nothing wrong with emotive opinions,.. well I never thought anyhow . Just different opinions.

Everyone's different, this is a worldwide forum, not just for the Canadians or whoever,.. or have I jumped the fence ? Shhhh' t,.. man, how high do you want them !!!?

As said before,.. I seriously didn't realise we needed a ticket ?