Dave+Jules

I don't understand why all those who are appalled by the idea of smacking their children think that those who have used that type of punishment must all be Child Abusers....

I could probably count on two hands the amount of times I smacked my kids, but you know it was always the deterrent that could stop them both in their tracks when they were smacking the heck out of each other. My warning that they would both get a clip if they didnt stop tended to cool things down.

I am sure the VAST majority of parents who use smacking as a punishment are like me and not the wild bum spanking, angry people you see in the supermarket queue.

Dave+Jules

Oh Yes probably with a 2inch wide leather belt with studs in.

dbd33

Do you kick your dog? Where are you on wearing spurs when riding?

I don't see how you can differentiate cruelty to children who are yours from cruelty in general.

dbd33

Well, I'm sure we all enjoy a good joke about beating our kids. I trust in this context we can also joke about ****ing them.

montreal mike

At the onset I had posed the question on the matter of spanking when I wrote: But is it violence? My guess is that we have all been spanked at one point or another and are probably too old to remember it. My guess is that it doesn't screw us up psychologically in later life. So what is the choice? Do nothing and bite your tongue?

Having gone through this thread, and I must say it has been an interesting exercise, I can find nothing to convince me that spanking is that wrong or harmful. I also conclude that those who claim to have been scarred in later life must have been subject to more than a simple well intentioned parental spanking.

Spanking young kids will go on. It has in the past and will in the future. That will not change.

dbd33

I don't think there's any merit in this view. In 1950 spanking children was acceptable, normal, in the UK. Now it's acceptable, normal, in Australia and Island View NB, I think it reasonable to suppose that in fifty years it won't be acceptable anywhere except Australia.

Coffeepot

I would try and find out who the child was obviously that could pose a problem ? if the child was being really hurt or if anyone was i wouldn't couldn't stand by and if necessary i would call the police ? i am aware of child protection guidelines but i can't stand by and see a child hurt.


I think thats very sad to think it doesn't scar of course it does, that child trusts you to protect them and there you go and hit them because you can't won't are to busy to deal with the situation properly. children don't need to be smacked full stop.

I have not been to Australia yet and think there are a lot of things there that need to change from what friends say,

D15NEY

For me the 'naughty step' was scary enough for my kids.

montreal mike

I don't see it that way although I can appreciate / understand where you are coming from. I do not consider it violence by any stretch of the imagination provided it is just one slap, with the open hand, on the bum, and not some out-of-control action on the part of the parent. Also I do not feel one should necessarily feel guilty of doing it unless it is done with malice, or the result of intense anger or frustration.

Dave+Jules

My, my, how bitter and twisted you are.

Of course I was being facietous about the belt, and I will ignore the ****ing question because it doesnt deserve an answer. Kicking dogs no, but the odd tap across the muzzle yes, spurs on horse I have no opinion on as I don't ride.

It seems to me that you look at this with a black or white filter, you have no shades of gray. 8 or 9 spanks in early childhood is the same as beating them weekly for no other reason than to let them know who is in charge.

I was spanked as a kid, and with much more frequency than my children received. This experience was similar to the one you think all children who get a spank are getting.

That experience made me decide there were strict rules in the use of spanking in raising my kids and they had to be agreed by both of us (parents). For our family it worked.

Dave+Jules

I have answered so as a horse rider where are you on the use of a bit, or showing the horse the crop to get it to do what you want ? I would probably exclude the kicking of you heels into its flanks to make it move, but then I am reasonable

fledermaus

OK, so there are two types of hitting. (spanking and slapping being gentler words that hide the violence behind the action)

1) Hitting the child in anger.
2) Hitting the child as a controlled, premeditated act.

Posters have said that in anger isnt acceptable, but if you have the time to think about what you are doing surely you have the time to consider alternative forms of correction?

I remember my mum hitting me, used to be across the back of the legs, and it hurt. I also remember crying and being so so upset that I had made my mum so angry that she wanted to hurt me, and because I didnt understand what I had done wrong. As for doing me no harm no that I am an adult, well I remember it with bitterness. I think thats harm enough.

montreal mike

To me there is only spot: the bum. God made it for spanking.

Not the legs or any other part of the anatomy.

Novocastrian

Oh, for heaven's sake.

fledermaus

OMG, are you saying its a sexual thing?