R I C H

A 'little smack' is likely to knock a kid over, and cause a subsequent injury that might need treating in hospital?!

At least present a rational explanation for refraining from smacking.

JLT

Yep ,bit my son back once, he never did it again but I am not going to promote it on here as it is a little different nowadays to 26 years ago!

JLT

Sorry I'm not with you and your comment! I did point out the consequence of smacking and also the alternative.

R I C H

Eh? It's your comment I quoted - you think that a 'little smack' could knock a kid over, and cause a subsequent injury that might need treating in hospital. I think that's far fetched and doesn't really present a rational reason for not resorting to smacking.

JLT

OK guess I need a little coffee get the old ticker going again. Anyhow, been there done that, little one nearly fell down the stairs after that "little smack"! How would he have looked at the bottom of the stairs?

iaink

The problem is that what seems a "little smack" to a 6 foot 220lb man, might not come off that way to the 40lb recipient.

If you have lost it to the point that you are going to smack a kid, the chances are that control is not going to be a feature of your subsequent behaviour.

The basic problem with montreal mikes original proposition was that he said "smack em or let them get away with it". In reality that's not the only choices available. There are many practical, effective alternatives to stop them "getting away with it" outside of inflicting physical pain that should be explored first. It takes a lot of patience to deal with a stroppy three year old. Ruling by fear and calling it respect is not the answer. Ultimately not all that hard to modify by other means, it just requires patience. Lots of it.

There are just far too many studies that show (corporal punishment / smacking/ call it what you want) as being ineffective and an enabler to worse abuse and an ongoing cycle to consider it a practical first line of parenting control. I've never yet seen one of the "supernannies" on TV resort to it or condone it..they always have some other effective technique to use, and they always win. I don't want to get dragged into it again, but it was all laid out a couple of months ago when this was discussed before.

LotteW

I have never had a biter (probably been lucky in that respect), but even if I did, I don't think I would have bitten a child back - what does it teach them? That it is OK to bite. (Actually I was bitten once by one of my children - she was pretending to be a polar bear and bit me on the bum! )

I also don't think smacking children achieves anything much either - I was smacked as a child, and was still a little terror. It didn't stop me being naughty, it just meant that I made sure I was never caught!

Yes I have been known to tap my childrens hands with a finger when they were toddlers and going to touch something they shouldn't - a gentle tap and a firm "NO!" stopped them. But that doesn't in any way equate to smacking them.

And even though my kids have never been smacked they are pretty good kids on the whole - we get compliments on their behaviour, so we must be doing something right!

JLT

Thank you for having the patience to reply as I did not, little braindead tonight. I had hoped a had got my opinion clearly outlined but apparently not!

R I C H

Not to be judgmental, but in this example, it wasn't such a 'little smack', proportional to size/body weight of the kid.

I'm not sure it achieves anything productive, I was smacked pretty hard but just accepted it as a punishment, it wasn't really much of a deterrent from getting into more trouble. I knew my parents cared about me and my actions, and were not really in the business of trying to hurt me, just deter me from continuing to jump off the bridge into the local river, or get up to whatever mischief I could find in rural Yorkshire (no sheep comments, thanks ).

In retrospect it probably made me somewhat resentful, and there were better ways to have dealt with me, but parents don't get lessons in child rearing, do they?

Oakvillian

Hear, hear!

LotteW

going back to the biting.

There was a mother who was jailed for 5 months recently for biting her son

That if nothing else sends the message out that it isn't acceptable to bite a child.

dbd33

The link seems to be dead. How's this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...by-sister.html

?

LotteW

Thankyou - I probably messed up the link

Coffeepot

How awful,

willmore

Indulge in spanking - no, we get no pleasure from having to spank either of our kids - although this rarely happens. However my brother, sister and I were spanked on the rare occasion as kids, and we turned out ok.

We have found especially with my 4 year old daughter katie that withholding privileges such as swimming, hockey, etc., things that she really loves is a far more effective way to discipline our wildly enthusiastic daughter.