British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   The Maple Leaf (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/)
-   -   A culture of lies and two faced talk (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/culture-lies-two-faced-talk-871932/)

vanity Feb 5th 2016 6:28 am

A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
RANT ALERT

I am so tired of fake civility. On more than one occasion, with multiple people I have been promised things, people saying things that go far beyond the common call of courtesy/necessity (offering this and that), and the minute I actually need anything, they are nowhere to be seen, had no problems not following through on their "promises"

Saying nice, kind things to my face and disappearing like a flash.

I am so sick and tired of this two faced culture. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one http://britishexpats.com/forum/maple...-earth-805788/ or I would go crazy thinking that I am the only one who has ever experienced this.

Argh!

scrubbedexpat091 Feb 5th 2016 7:47 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
If you need help, best to not ask a Canadian, I learned a long time ago they will say they will help or do this or that, but reality is they won't follow through.

I am sure some do follow through, but seems more flake out and only say they will to be nice and then never actually intend to.

vanity Feb 5th 2016 7:58 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
Yes! This is exactly my experience ad infinitum

what really p*sses me off though is that they VOLUNTEER the help - consistently. I don't ask. They offer, each time. Some even offer elaborate offers (wow)

But then I realize:

1. They don't follow through. Period.
2. WTF did they even say that for? I don't expect them to, and yet they offer, say all these flowery things and then you realize that they are just liars

Disappointing does not start to cover it. Bunch of flakes. I've found people of different ethnic origins are actually more reliable.

#@)(*

Pizzawheel Feb 5th 2016 8:10 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
Haha. When I needed help getting winter tires on rims over xmas it was an Irishman who helped, literally as soon as I asked. The cradles...

magnumpi Feb 5th 2016 8:22 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
Thought this thread was guna be all about the Liberal Gov for a minute there. Oh well.

vanity Feb 5th 2016 8:26 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
Well it ain't contradictory innit?

Siouxie Feb 5th 2016 8:37 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
I think I must have been incredibly lucky or fortunate because those that I have asked for help, or who have offered it and it's been taken up, have come through every time. Conversely, the three times I have been let down has been by Brits!

I'm wondering if it depends on where you are..

:)

bats Feb 5th 2016 8:44 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
Hmm, I know if I needed help any of my neighbours would do what they could and willingly. A few of my friends have had disastrous times recently and their friends and neighbours have been wonderfully helpful.

I've come across a fair amount of "we must meet up soon" stuff but no more than from the average middle class Brit.

Oh yes, and we won't even go into going out of your way to help Brits who turn out to be more than disappointing.

I am I said Feb 5th 2016 8:55 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 11859041)
If you need help, best to not ask a Canadian, I learned a long time ago they will say they will help or do this or that, but reality is they won't follow through.

I am sure some do follow through, but seems more flake out and only say they will to be nice and then never actually intend to.

That sounds terrible. Is there anything I can do to help you get over that?

JonboyE Feb 5th 2016 8:57 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by Siouxie (Post 11859096)
I think I must have been incredibly lucky or fortunate because those that I have asked for help, or who have offered it and it's been taken up, have come through every time. ...
:)


Originally Posted by bats (Post 11859103)
Hmm, I know if I needed help any of my neighbours would do what they could and willingly. ...

Pretty much my experience too.

Siouxie Feb 5th 2016 9:32 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by bats (Post 11859103)
Hmm, I know if I needed help any of my neighbours would do what they could and willingly. A few of my friends have had disastrous times recently and their friends and neighbours have been wonderfully helpful.

I've come across a fair amount of "we must meet up soon" stuff but no more than from the average middle class Brit.

Oh yes, and we won't even go into going out of your way to help Brits who turn out to be more than disappointing.

Similar..

I've an 80 year old neighbour who pays her snow removal guy to come and clear the snow on my sidewalk and drive if she knows (or thinks) my son is away, so I don't have to do it as she knows I have hip issues! She's a bloomin' marvel I tell you - and won't take a penny towards it.

:thumbup:

Shard Feb 5th 2016 9:52 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by vanity (Post 11859052)
Yes! This is exactly my experience ad infinitum

what really p*sses me off though is that they VOLUNTEER the help - consistently. I don't ask. They offer, each time. Some even offer elaborate offers (wow)

But then I realize:

1. They don't follow through. Period.
2. WTF did they even say that for? I don't expect them to, and yet they offer, say all these flowery things and then you realize that they are just liars

Disappointing does not start to cover it. Bunch of flakes. I've found people of different ethnic origins are actually more reliable.

#@)(*


Any examples?

Shirtback Feb 5th 2016 11:24 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by Siouxie (Post 11859096)
I think I must have been incredibly lucky or fortunate because those that I have asked for help, or who have offered it and it's been taken up, have come through every time. Conversely, the three times I have been let down has been by Brits!

I'm wondering if it depends on where you are..

I think it might. :)

My québécois neighbours (several different ones) have always been almost embarrassingly generous about offering/giving help, as have many other Canadians I've come across over the years. Just as other nationalities/immigrants have been too.

I couldn't even start to list examples, there have been so many.

Or may be I'm just lucky?

JamesM Feb 5th 2016 11:35 am

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 

Originally Posted by vanity (Post 11859052)
Yes! This is exactly my experience ad infinitum

what really p*sses me off though is that they VOLUNTEER the help - consistently. I don't ask. They offer, each time. Some even offer elaborate offers (wow)

But then I realize:

1. They don't follow through. Period.
2. WTF did they even say that for? I don't expect them to, and yet they offer, say all these flowery things and then you realize that they are just liars

Disappointing does not start to cover it. Bunch of flakes. I've found people of different ethnic origins are actually more reliable.

#@)(*

Cradles are very superficial.

I can count the reliable ones on one hand.

It doesn't bother me much now as I'm fairly self sufficient.

When I was on my Work Holiday Visa back in the day I realised this so developed a life style of not relying them when I returned.

rivingtonpike Feb 5th 2016 12:31 pm

Re: A culture of lies and two faced talk
 
I guess where we live we're by and large in the lucky camp. We have our usual crop of "oh we must meet up" and then nothing happens. But to be honest, we all lead busy lives and we are at least as guilty of doing this as anybody else around here. Our surrounding neighbours will do - and have done - so much for us. One taught me chainsaw safety, fixed our electric garage door, put up a rope swing in his own garden for our kids because he had the right sort of branch overhang. Another neighbour taught me how to sweep our chimney and helped me to fix the roof on our rather large woodshed. Another gave our girls a whole bunch of beautiful herb plants so they could start their own herb garden.I like the people that surround me. Even nicer, as the relative newcomers (and foreigners), they appear to like us too.


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