Cultural Assimilation
Sep 21st 2016, 12:46 pm
#33
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: Cultural Assimilation
Sometimes, in my working life, I don't feel like I have assimilated at all.
I get tired of different terminology and trying to make sure I am understood, not just in what I am saying but in my intentions. Just a slight sentence change can make all the difference to how its perceived.
God only knows how long I have been upsetting people by calling their homes ugly in error in the homey versus homely situation.
I want to hear "who holds responsibility for..." rather than "who owns it" and "the details" rather than "level of granularity" and "lets return to that" rather than "we will do a deeper dive"
I counted the word "leverage" used when discussing new systems about 50 times in one speech the other day.
And when someone wrote "The parking lot" on a sheet of white paper and hung it up in the meeting room I wondered "what on earth...." until I realized that it was where the "deeper dive" items were going to be listed...
ugh
Rant over
I get tired of different terminology and trying to make sure I am understood, not just in what I am saying but in my intentions. Just a slight sentence change can make all the difference to how its perceived.
God only knows how long I have been upsetting people by calling their homes ugly in error in the homey versus homely situation.
I want to hear "who holds responsibility for..." rather than "who owns it" and "the details" rather than "level of granularity" and "lets return to that" rather than "we will do a deeper dive"
I counted the word "leverage" used when discussing new systems about 50 times in one speech the other day.
And when someone wrote "The parking lot" on a sheet of white paper and hung it up in the meeting room I wondered "what on earth...." until I realized that it was where the "deeper dive" items were going to be listed...
ugh
Rant over
Sep 21st 2016, 1:47 pm
#34
Happy
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 2,942
Re: Cultural Assimilation
LOL! Love it!!!
Sep 21st 2016, 4:09 pm
#35
Slob
Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Ottineau
Posts: 6,342
Re: Cultural Assimilation
"Deep dive" is very common in corporate/government circles. It means nothing other than "we should use more advanced search terms in Google next time we try to think about something".
Sep 21st 2016, 4:22 pm
#36
Oscar nominated
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 50,835
Re: Cultural Assimilation
There's loads of them.
I just found this and I was surprised at how many...then I noticed they were all letter by letter.
The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary – R - The Office Life
I just found this and I was surprised at how many...then I noticed they were all letter by letter.
The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary – R - The Office Life
Sep 21st 2016, 4:32 pm
#37
Magnificently Withering
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Oakville, ON
Posts: 6,891
Re: Cultural Assimilation
If ever you need "placeholder text" in a document to do a business-style layout, instead of using the graphic designer's standby "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..." pseudo-Latin stuff, you can try "bullshit ipsum," a collection of utterly useless jargon words strung together in random sentences with not enough verbs. A lot like a management consultant report, really...
Bullshit Ipsum
Here's the first paragraph it spat out for me this morning:
Bullshit Ipsum
Here's the first paragraph it spat out for me this morning:
Tagclouds solutions infrastructures, distributed; unleash front-end user-centric grow networks, communities addelivery folksonomies networkeffects utilize maximize e-business. Whiteboard, create, "aggregate standards-compliant efficient streamline world-class implement." Harness experiences grow mashups e-business ubiquitous innovate deliverables syndicate integrate communities robust integrate, one-to-one communities share.
Sep 21st 2016, 4:56 pm
#38
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: Cultural Assimilation
Going forward my feedback on the on-boarding procedure will concern the utilization of profile images.
Few people have their credibility enhanced by the inclusion of a photograph with their emails "fashion victim", "geek", "slack jowled", "bit of a boozer", "mutton", "childish" are impressions easily conveyed.
"Competent person keen to help" is not.
Few people have their credibility enhanced by the inclusion of a photograph with their emails "fashion victim", "geek", "slack jowled", "bit of a boozer", "mutton", "childish" are impressions easily conveyed.
"Competent person keen to help" is not.
Sep 21st 2016, 9:37 pm
#39
limey party pooper
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,982
Re: Cultural Assimilation
"Reach out" makes me want to vomit. As do "leverage" and "paradigm" (I never did look up that last one).
"Deep dive" is very common in corporate/government circles. It means nothing other than "we should use more advanced search terms in Google next time we try to think about something".
"Deep dive" is very common in corporate/government circles. It means nothing other than "we should use more advanced search terms in Google next time we try to think about something".
Sep 21st 2016, 10:47 pm
#40
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: Cultural Assimilation
I don't have to take any of that, if I don't want to go to a staff meeting because I don't think anything constructive involving me will result I just tell them I'm not going. The concept of total quality management doesn't need any buzzwords.
Sep 21st 2016, 11:18 pm
#41
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: Cultural Assimilation
That sounds refreshing. What's worse than just having to attend is when they have the temerity to ask you question in one. tbh I've rarely if any do research and I'm usually barely listening so I'm not likely to have anything constructive to say. Past history should tell them at best they'll get some puerile response or an attempt at a Christmas crackeresque joke.
Sep 22nd 2016, 12:18 am
#42
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Re: Cultural Assimilation
Can't say I really see what's wrong "reach out". It's a good shorthand for getting in touch with somebody that's outside your day-to-day contacts.
Or "leverage" to use something that already exists.
Or even the hated "synergy" to get rid of duplication or whatever context it's used in.
Probably comes from working for a massive corporation for god knows how many years.
Or "leverage" to use something that already exists.
Or even the hated "synergy" to get rid of duplication or whatever context it's used in.
Probably comes from working for a massive corporation for god knows how many years.
Last edited by Alan2005; Sep 22nd 2016 at 12:20 am.
Sep 22nd 2016, 12:28 am
#43
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: Cultural Assimilation
A typical comment at the "scrum" is "I reached out to" person standing two along. The next person speaks and then the reachee who says "I had a conversation" (with the reacher). Nothing at all is conveyed by the reporting of this reaching and conversing. The first person may as well say "I asked Joe" and the third "I told Bill, I dunno" or, in fact, Bill could just ask the bloody question right there so Joe can not know in real time.
Sep 22nd 2016, 12:42 am
#44
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Re: Cultural Assimilation
A typical comment at the "scrum" is "I reached out to" person standing two along. The next person speaks and then the reachee who says "I had a conversation" (with the reacher). Nothing at all is conveyed by the reporting of this reaching and conversing. The first person may as well say "I asked Joe" and the third "I told Bill, I dunno" or, in fact, Bill could just ask the bloody question right there so Joe can not know in real time.
I dunno, it seems to me that sneering at business speak is a bigger cliche than said speak itself is now-a-days.
Sep 22nd 2016, 12:53 am
#45
Dive Bar Drunk
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 8,649
Re: Cultural Assimilation
A typical comment at the "scrum" is "I reached out to" person standing two along. The next person speaks and then the reachee who says "I had a conversation" (with the reacher). Nothing at all is conveyed by the reporting of this reaching and conversing. The first person may as well say "I asked Joe" and the third "I told Bill, I dunno" or, in fact, Bill could just ask the bloody question right there so Joe can not know in real time.
I told him that I didn't have a hands free in my car so I'd have to do it from home then leave for work.
The beauty is I don't wake up now till 8.15. Do the call. Chill out, have breakfast, shower and swan into the office closer to 10.
We've reduced it now to twice a week sadly. I had to put some value and common sense into the process though.