Mine has a disability.

When I was a child I had a disability, I still do. Calling it a challenge doesnt make me hear any better

Autism isn't a challenge because the autistic person doesn't feel any need to overcome it. It's not even like deaf culture where the participants are aware that they're defining themselves by their deafness, the autistic person is unaware of there being anything other than autism. "Handicapped" even understates the case, a deeply autistic person is no better able to function in society than a cat is able. Disabled is the proper term.

After being away for a few days, and reading the post's on this thread, I am a bit curious.

In Canada, when standing in the playground dropping the children off - do you hear people moaning that they have been told they need to "look" for a job, but they will actually take home less money if they got a job? - or do you hear Mum's telling each other what the latest handout is (£1500 for new carpets, or £500 for a new sofa ect....)

As I said in my first reply, I am in full support of helping people that need it - but there are too many people in the U.K. abusing it.

I feel resentment when my wife and I work hard, and others play the system and seem to be better off. These people can stay at home all day and spend as much time with their children as they want to, whilst I have to miss out on some family time, as I am working to pay the bills. This is wrong.

Oh, by the way, I don't think you will find all the "handout's" listed on websites - so if you haven't lived in the U.K. for a few years, ununfortunatel you will be out of touch with what some people get given on a weekly basis for doing nothing in return.

Yes. Especially if you're in the area of "rent geared to income" buildings. People in such accommodation have to find jobs that pay in cash or their rent goes up and they're worse off.

Same Game, Different Players.

Well why don't you do that too? I suspect it's because they're not quite living the life of leisure you describe.

Self pride!

And speaking from experience - some (not all) do live the life of leisure I mentioned. (as I said - if you have not lived in the U.K. for a while, you will not have a clue about how some people work the system, and it seems to be getting more popular!)

I lived in the UK until a year ago, and although I heard many many stories about milking the benefit system I never met anyone who had, or who had a close friend or relative who had. It was always "my friend knows someone who knows someone". So no I dont really have a clue. I read somewhere, likely to be ther Guardian, that many people dont realise that they are entitled to benefits and so dont apply.

From someone whos been on both sides of the coin, I fully understand how easy it could be to become settled into benefits system - it can become your comfort blanket if you like - the way you live. I was on benefits for a short while when my husband left me and the kids - don't get me wrong did not live the life of luxury but if I had become settled into it you could see why it becomes the norm. Fortunately for me I like to work and keep me occupied and do the whole providing for the kids issue so walked into a store and demanded a job and started the next week. Its bloody hard work doing everything yourself but you feel good inside and thats what counts.

Now - sorry for a long post but my biggest bugbear was something I saw on good old gmtv about 5 years ago.

A single mum (on benefits) with 2 kids was burgled a couple of days before xmas and was distraut cos she had no house insurance and the kids pressies were stolen (playstation etc - the sort of things benefits are paid out for if you know what I mean ) They interviewed her in her house and she was saying how she couldn't afford house insurance - but lo and bloody behold in the background was the standard issue cream leather suite, big duck off silver tv dvd etc. Buy some bloody house insurance you muppet and a smaller tv - god it makes me angry :curse:

When I was in that position I had house insurance (not a lot in it to insure) car insurance (for a D reg Nova crap but it got me and the kids around) and we had a really old tv given to us by friends, my mums cast off suite etc nothing spectacular but it was ours and we were happy.

Its all about priorites - we are not put here to expect the best of everything to be dropped in our lap, standards of living are why most of us are moving to Canada not because of possesions and being better than the Jones's.

We now are in a stronger financial position albeit cos I met someone new and he had his own home and I am and always will be eternally gratefull for the life we will lead over there and the chance I have been given (along with meeting a wonderful wonderful person. Its not easy but play by the rules and you feel a whole lot better.

Sorry for that rant

I have read this thread from the begining and have ummed and ahhd about replying a few times. The problem I have with sweeping comments is that people start to think that all people on benifits are just spongers and timewasters and are just screwing the system.

At one stage in my life I was a single Mum who found myself homeless and penniless. I needed the benefits. I was so proud to be given my council house and was extremely careful on how I spent my furnishing benefit. I got a whole 250 pounds in which to buy all the furniture - beds/linen/fridge/freezer/cooker/suite/curtains/carpets/crockery etc and a whole 90 pounds to decorate the entire house (the ceilings had just been replastered so you can imagine the mess.

Somehow I managed it - not the carpet that was a few years away. But every week when I went to collect my benefit I could see the old folk looking down their noses at yet another single parent sponging off the government. After 18 months of this - when I was actually together enought to look for a job, I got one - I was 10 pound a week worse off during school weeks and during school holidays it was just a nightmare.

Yes I met people who seemed to be getting more than me and I also met people that were worse off. There are people that know the system - they have been taught it and know when to apply and the best way to do it to get extras - me I didn't have a clue. Maybe people on benefits should have to report to a job centre type place where there could be advisors and have their finances monitered closer I don't know.

If you are lucky enough to not have had to use the benifit system you wouldn't know how degrading honest people find it - it's blinking hard work claiming stuff and they so often get it wrong so you budget on one set of figures then you find yourself in arrears because they messed up - not a happy way top spend life.

Your going to get spongers in all societies and all countries.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

That time in my life may be the one time that comes back to haunt me now however as while I started work I had to wait a month before any wages came in. To have stopped my benefits would have meant we had absolutely nothing to live on and i mean nothing and with the extra cost of childcare, getting to and from work I decided to chance it and keep claiming til my wages went in. When they did I cancelled the benefit - and within a week I had a visit from the DSS and was convicted of benefit fraud. I had claimed for a grand total of 3 wekks illegally to get by - I shouldn't have done it but it was the decision I made at the time to get us by.

And now 10 years on it may stop our planned life in Canada they may refuse the temp work visa or pr I don't know, but i'm trying not to think about that and remain positive.

And as a note to piffpoff

Yes I remember vividly not having carpets for a least a year - ah going downstairs in the morning to a nice concrete living room floor with a 2nd hand rug on it - those were the days!!!!!

Try changing the "often" to "once" - which is the truth. I assume you've gne through my postings and been unable to find all these so-called mentions. I can easily direct you to the one-and-only.

I stayed off this thread, but the recent posts really struck a chord with me.

When I was leaving a violent, abusive relationship, I spent almost two years homeless (shelter, other people's spare rooms etc) with two kids before the council could provide me with a council house.

So, with raising two kids, escaping domestic violence, going through numerous Court battles and 'system battles', social service investigations (after my ex maliciously accused me of child abuse),studying to try and better myself,going to counselling to deal with PSTD and regaining my sanity, I had no choice but to claim benefits. Holding down a job at that time was not possible-how I even made it through without completely losing my mind I still marvel at.

When I finally got my council house I too was so proud and happy just to have a place to call home. My new home was actually a recent crack house. Despite the disgusting state that it was in, I got no decoration allowance because there were the remenents of crack-smoke stained wallpaper on the walls. So I had to just put up with the decor after spending hours cleaning the yellow brown residue off the walls and ceiling with a wallpaper scraper!There were used condoms in the downstairs toliet and at least a foot of rubbish in the back garden. There were stolen computers from a bank in the loft that I had to get the police to come and collect! It was degrading to be expected to move my children in there. But I was humble and thankful for what I saw as help in my situation and I made it the cleanest dive going!!We had no curtains and no carpets and only bits and peices of furniture that I had literally collected from someone's garbage pile in the neighbourhood.

My son has Arthritis and I had to fight the system for a 100 pound crisis loan for a bed for him, because they said the need for a bed was not a crisis.....budgeting loans (for clothes, furniture etc) could only be applied for after 6 months of a different kind of benefits. Begging for money for a bed for a disabled child was not fun!

The complication in my case was that I only got benefits for a single person-the system didn't class me as having kids because of the way my ex had screwed me over and manipulated the child benefit (having it put in his name and fighting my attempts to have it in my name). So, no child benefit meant no child tax credit, no housing benefit for a 3 bed house (only a single person allowance), no school meals for my kids etc etc. Oh, and to top it all off...the CSA came after me to pay him child support!!!!!! They were docking that from my benefits.

I could go on and on about my situation back then, but I definately was no scrounger. I was truly in need and would have gladly accepted any hand-out I could have found. We needed it.

Not all people on benefits are the stereotype. There are many hardworking people who are on low incomes who need that top-up. I just can't stand it when people look down on others.

I worked hard to drag myself out of that situation and better myself. But I would never stand in judgement of others. It is not my place to do so.